Let’s Talk Trash

I had to trash a few prior posts that I considered didn’t do too well, just so I can talk trash to you now!  I admit I’m a bit of an oddball when it comes to my being like most people.  And that I’m also not crazy with fondness for you either.  Yet, over these last 3 years, I believe my writing skills have improved immensely!  We have established an open line of communication!  I’ve made many friends!  This is all reflected in the over 600 followers I’ve managed to accumulate: many of which, just over this last 6 months.  That was hard work for me!  It took trust, dedication, and potato chips!

I know that about half of my ‘hard earned’ followers are from Facebook: not the most reliable group on earth.  In fact, I’ve never once received a comment that said: ‘Hi!  I’m from Facebook!’  So I’m not positive the counter is retrieving reliable data from Facebook, or merely stating how many members i have over there, and adding it to the 300 Spartans I have here.

What I am sure of, is that since I told you I was moving and gave you my new blog address, and 10 articles later, I still only have 34 ‘real’ followers over there!  Do you think it fair, to take a genuine depressoid such as myself (a lineage I am proud of, and spans back hundreds of years in my family), and just toss me aside after all the ‘work’ I’ve done to establish a reliable rapor with you?  I thought we were friends!  We have made great strides since I first called you ‘creepy’…

Look!  I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt (because I have no choice at this point), and simply assume you’ve simply forgotten about me, due to my drab and boring personality.  So once again, here is the address of my new blog, and I’d really like to hear from you, or I will slash my wrists with a dangerous toothpick, and it will all be your fault!  (Guilt trip #351).  Hoping to hear from you soon…  Your friend always:  Dr. Kevorkian

https://myopinion5.wordpress.com

 

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People think I’m sucking off the system because I’m disabled, when it was in fact the system that disabled me…  People are generally judgemental and self assuming…  Most are envious and suppose I lay around all day sipping lemonade.  Nothing could be farther from the truth!  Work is where you find it, and I do quite a lot without any pay at all.  Not my fault they can’t spell: ‘Career’…  That doesn’t look right…  How do you spell ‘Career’? I do the things I love to do: all of it involves work.  Who needs pay when you have a purpose higher than serving people fatty cow meat?  There’s an ethical question involved too, and a competence factor…  People are always promoted to just the position they can’t master: I see more people suffering as a result of how they’re treated in society via a lack of responsible, congenial, competent public servants, administrators, Doctors, Dentists, etc..  So my theory is:  Everything is backwards… 

If you’re sick for instance, how do they expect you to have the energy to go to a Doctor?  There was a time when they came to you!  What logic is there in fighting disease when you cram people with various viruses in the same waiting room?  In Queens English, work doesn’t work!  Why is it that Tennis Players make millions every year for playing a ‘game’, and construction workers can’t afford to buy their own homes?  Backwards!  You want fair? If everyone helped everyone else, no one need suffer for goods and services at all! 

Those who clean your offices keep the air clean so you don’t get sick!  How are they less valuable than highly paid Scientists who just sit around and think all day?  We tell people not to smoke, and then sell them cigarettes!  What kind of backward CRAP is that?  I tell you, the whole system has to be wiped out, and revised!  If you work a day, you should have a day off to pursue other interests rather than them owning you lock, stock and barrel! (barrel?)  How did that get in there?  Help me build my house, and I’ll help you build yours, rather than someone who didn’t do the work should occupy…  So backwards!!  What say you?

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Basic Instincts

Oh! A new work of Art! It’s about time we had more beautiful smut such as this! Jerk Off for WordPress, and there’s no telling how many new followers we would get! I’d want my usual $1.27 Finders Fee of corpse…

Forever yours: Bood Sucker

We’ll be Right Back after this Brief Message!

Analyzing a Commercial

I don’t understand!  It’s like, you get 2 minutes of programming, and 5 minutes of commercial.  Is anyone even manning the station?  Or is it just on one continuous loop?  And we, are the Suckers, (a synonym for: ‘audience.’  I know of one Lypozine commercial where Bob wants to lose weight but doesn’t know how…  Then Bob must be an Idiot because he’s too stupid to ask questions.  And we are Suckers because if we’ll buy that, we’ll buy anything!  We don’t stop to ask ourselves why they must spend $100,000 to advertise their product during prime time.  It’s because they can’t get anybody to buy it any other way.  Dah!  And it must work, or why would anyone advertise anything?

The trouble is, what we buy, pretty much determines whether we want a good deal, or will pretty much buy a cheap, Hooker for a saw buck!  See, how I would work it is, I’d have one channel with a big list of commercials on it.  And if you’d like to watch a commercial, you just choose it from the list. 

Else wise, I can’t remember when the last time was, that I wanted anything they had to sell on TV.  It’s all either about getting rid of pimples, or buying a car: the two very things I should be wise enough by now, not to worry about!  Whenever a commercial comes on, I automatically channel hop to an all movie network, and preview them for 5 minutes…  Soon you’ll be able to print whatever you want anyway.  I wonder if that means we could be seeing the death throes of: ‘The Boob Tube Generation?’  I mean, even the programing sucks now!  Now it’s all about watching somebody else at work, or crime, violence, and sex shows like: ‘Criminal Minds, Miami CSI’….  Too many Hero criminal aprehender shows…

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Most of what’s in Supermarkets, is made of corn…  What do we care?  As long as it’s ‘Gooood!’

My Connections to The Mob

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My life was on the line!

This post goes into chilling detail about my connections to The Mob!  My former girlfriend for whom I still dearly love, in solitary confinement, once informed me, during a long and heated argument over whether I should ‘brown bag it’ to work or not, that she was in solidly with the dangerous and notorious Ravioli Family: a particularly vicious group operating out of New Liskard Ontario, hoping to one day gang bang Shania Twain!  And all it would take to rub me out (a long used Mafia term meaning: ‘to smear tomato paste in your face!’). is one phone call!  She added: ‘Make no mistake! I have strong connections to The Ravioli Family, because of my extensive collection of nude, Sicilian, Baseball Cards!’

I spent that night tossing in turning, waking up in cold sweats screaming for the treat of possibly having tomato paste smeared in my face!  I laid there desperate! See?  I was constantly thinking of some way out of this extremely dangerous situation I now found myself in!  Tears came to my eyes as I lay there shaking: helplessly consumed that the prospect in the not to distant future, of having to come face to face with: ‘The Green Reaper!’

The Next Day…

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As I was making myself a spaghetti and meatball sandwich for breakfast, from last night’s leftovers, the wheels were constantly turning for me to try and think of some way I might disguise myself so The Ravioli Family might overlook me!  I mean, who knows?  Perhaps my common law wife would put a tail on me, to make sure I didn’t cheat on her, or in any way, treat a tin of spaghetti sauce with disrespect!

The answer came to me in a flash of insight!

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And suddenly, as I was pouring my morning Motts Tomato Juice, it came to me that why don’t I take Ballet Class and Tap Dancing lessons?  What Mobster is going to be on the look out for a man dressed in a Tu Tu, tap dancing his way to work?  So I quickly put my ingenious plan into operation!

A deadly encounter

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At first my plan seemed to be working because even stray cats were avoiding me…  But then, one day while I was tap dancing to work, a suspicious looking Volkswagen Micro-Bus full of shifty looking long haired Hippies pulled up along side me!  The driver, obviously Sicilian, reached out the window and offered me a nude Baseball Card!  I was so nervous, I answered: ‘Oh, no thank you!  I’ve already eaten!’

Then he asked: ‘Will you show us a little Ballet?  A shiver went down my spine!  I new I had to really be on my toes here!  So I counted to 3 out loud and did my best pirouette!  He said: ‘That was pretty, and spiffy!’, and they all clapped!  Then he put the radio on and asked me to tap dance to a Bing Crosby song: ‘White Christmas’!  I knew they were testing me for my smarts, so I tried really hard to get into the beat and tapped it out nice and slow, but tastefully!  ‘That was really good son!’ he said.  And they all clapped and whistled…  Now encouraged, I asked if they’d like here me sing an Al Jolson song while I spin and tap dance at the same time!  He quickly replied: ‘No thanks.  We’re a large group of highly trained, professional Spaghetti Benders, and we’re nearly late for work now!  I didn’t believe that for a moment!  They then sputtered off…

After that, everything began to quiet down and I was never again bothered by anyone on Earth, ever!  Hey!  The last three seconds are totally blank to me, but my past stands out in vivid detail!  Needless to say, from that first day on, I treated my common law wife with the nude Sicilian Baseball Cards with the respect deserving of a Mob Bosses Mistress!  So I advice that you all beware of: ‘My Connections to The Mob’!