Contrary to popular belief, grieving is a process in which we come to terms with a person we’ve lost, rather than a suffering of their absence. It is a process of forgiveness, not only for what transgressions against you are inflicted by a departed one, yet also for yourself, for not having forgiven them while they were alive. Certainly even those we love have transgressed against us in one form or other. No one is perfect by any means. Yet for those who have viciously or ignorantly hurt us so deeply, that it seems unfathomable for us to even consider forgiving them, this is the true challenge of real strength and character! In this article, I not only intend to state why we must forgive, but how important it is to approach God for proper instruction to go about doing so. It’s not easy, and requires much reflection and deep contemplation on the matter, both for their freedom, and your own…
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.
How Do We Fail To Forgive?
When I was young, I found it so easy to forgive others because my mind was fresh, and I was so willing to look behind the reasons why people acted the way that they did. Yet after being what seemed to be more and more senselessly beaten down by others, my heart grew cold and distant from them. And by doing so, I gave up the one thing that was most precious to my existence on this Earth: my curiosity towards people: how they think and feel, and why they do the things they do.
A lack of curiosity stems from us either being unwilling to learn and understand, or thinking we already know and understand enough. Unfortunately, most people reside at either end of these two extremes, when curiosity in fact lies someplace in between. It was this discovery that lead me to understand that we therefore forgive others out of fear and obligation, rather than from a true change of heart. This is a curious observation indeed because it explains why there’s so much war and hatred in this world. It’s because we haven’t learned how to forgive ourselves yet, let alone tackling how to forgive others…
To Forgive, We Must Also Forget…
After my brother died, I realized how much I still held against him in life: choosing to concentrate on his faults and shortcomings rather than understanding the circumstances behind them, and seeing his attempts to make an honest effort in this life. You can’t forgive without trust! And that’s a tall order when you feel as though someone violates that trust on a constant basis… So what do you do? You approach God with the problem…
Call it a hunch. Call me wrong! Call me irresponsible! Stop calling me names! OK? But the one question I knew I had to ask God was the one I feared most: ‘How can you forgive me, for not forgiving my brother?’ And His response (since I always ask for wisdom, love and insight in my prayers) was simple yet elegant: ‘Forgive your brother first! Then ask for forgiveness from me.’ So to forgive him, I had to first forgive myself for not forgiving him! One must heal one’s own self first before thinking on the matter clearly, and with an open heart…
Do You Know What You Know?
Do I know what I know? I must always ask myself that question to reawaken my own curiosity, and to understand the workings behind people better! This opens the door to more than people, but to everything… Recently for instance, the question: ‘What is an ion?’ has been plaguing me no end! LOL! People run a little deeper than ions though. In The Lord’s Prayer, what do we ask for? (I always get you with The Lords Prayer!) LOL! We ask: ‘Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…’ So is it others we want to forgive? Or do we really want to forgive ourselves for forgiving half heartedly out of fear of retribution, and some mechanical obligation? Something to think on! The key to real forgiveness lies in one word listed boldly in the picture above… Love…
This is an important blog entry about my brother Vernon who just passed away as of Feb. 23rd at the age of 69. We were informed of this by the Police knocking at our door at 3:30 am. the morning of Feb. 26th. I intend not only to paint a picture of just who my brother was, but also to show the mysterious way in which God works with us, and that He intends to keep us, no matter what we’ve done on this screwy, backward rotating rock, and why this is so. My purpose, is to soften your hearts via how things really are, as apposed to how they often ‘appear’ to be, and to have Vern’s legacy of kindness, understanding and generosity toward all of Mankind live on. This is so important a part to me, because his humanitarianism was the least understood thing about him, to whomever chanced to cross his path… Also of corpse, as a Testimony to our loving God, as: ‘A Tale of The Christ…’
Appearances are often deceptive!
This was sign # 1:
Christ relayed to me in a most unusual way because it was in such a round about fashion. He’s a very busy guy, so he doesn’t always relay things to us himself, but rather via the 60 billion some odd Angels at his beckoned call. Whenever something very important happens in my life, he always speaks to me in three’s. Not just sure why: perhaps that’s just what it takes to penetrate this thick skull of mine. Anyway, the signs are always very distinct, and in no way can ever be misinterpreted or passed off as mere coincidence by the time he’s done with me.
On my brother’s B-Day, which occurred on February 11th., I was being plagued in my mind, for some two weeks prior, to get in contact with my brother, after some 20 years of separation: to make amends with him, and reestablish contact that we’d lost. This was not a mere prodding, yet rather, an insistent urgency that his time with us was short! So I did… On that day, I went into my e-mail and received an entry from a local friend that was registered on Facebook. So I went there to read the rest of it, and there as the very first entry on Facebook, was this beautiful bird…
Underneath, the caption read: ‘What Artist could possibly compare with this?’ I was all ready with one of my smart ass answers like: ‘Pablo Pick-Ass-Hole!’ Yet something, or rather, ‘someone’ intervened, and I instead imposed the question: ‘God?’ It wasn’t to be until all three signs were delivered to me, that I realized it had came from this Angle that said: ‘Though your brother looks Massive enough to have three moons orbiting him: ‘Elder Baron, Glutinous Maximus, and Slam Dunk’, this is how he looks on the inside!’ This very unusually beautiful bird was later to drive me to tears for ever having been disgusted with him, when it was what life had done to him that I should have been disgusted with al along! That way, I most assuredly would not of vanquished him!
Judge not, lest ye be judged!
This was sign # 2:
We are incapable of judging others because of the immense number of prejudicial influences imposed upon us most every single day of our lives! We discriminate against God, Men, Women, Cultural differences, Gays, Pedophiles, the food we eat, the clothes we wear, pollution, the fishing industry, war, peace, dogs, cats, you name it! In fact, we are engulfed in small mindedness from the moment we are born, that what appears to be, is so, and what is hidden from us, are lies, when in fact, it’s the very opposite that really reveals the truth! Namely, that we are all made from the same tattered cloth…
On the day my brother died, my Common Law Wife came in to awaken me, and I was laying on my back, with my mouth gapping wide open! I was a ghastly shade of grey, and didn’t appear to be breathing! She thought for certain that I was dead! Here was a judgment call that by all intents and purposes, appeared to be one way, yet was truly another! When she told me, I now was truly alarmed that something was not all well in Paradise!
Am I my brother’s keeper?
This was sign # 3:
This is the best picture I could find of my brother Vern from his Facebook Timeline. Actually I called him: ‘Fern’ whenever I called to him, and he thought I was saying his name. Little did he know I had named him after a plant… My brother was a pedophile because of what my Father did to him, and because my Mother’s answer to this, was to place Vern in: ‘The Orillia Ontario Hospital’ from the age of 14, to 21. The sign on the door may just as well have read: ‘Breeding Ground for Pedophiles!’ That was 7 years I will never recapture… Nor do I have a desire to do so!
The moral is, that we are never to judge who someone is, or rather, how they got to become who they are, because this terrible thing he inherited, was a learned behavior: as real, and all encompassing to him, as how naturally you use a fork to eat with! We are NOT to judge them! Our job is to help them: to repair the awful traumatic damage that they themselves suffered to so drastically change them! To love and understand them, because they are who need that from us the most! Turning our backs on them, or exacting retribution only makes things worse.
When the Police dawned on my door at that time in the morning, I felt certain I was going to jail! I had no clue what for. I just figured that could be the only possible reason. Even when they asked me: ‘Do you have a brother named Vernon Everett?’ And: Does he live at Blah Blah?’ I still thought: ‘What trouble has his partner gotten him into now?’ Then The male of the two said: ‘I regret to inform you that your brother has deceased…’ Well that threw me 2 feet back into the back of my chair! Not because of shock, but because the three signs had been confirmed!
The third sign came into the sign of a lesson really… I called his best friend from Victoria B.C. in an attempt to recover some memories of Vern that I had missed. To my utter surprise and amazement, he had been named Executor of The Will, and arrived here without it: only saying that he and Vern had signed all the money over to him, and he was instructed to give us $10,000 from the 80,000 left to him. A Will he couldn’t find, that was never registered, and he wanted us to sign on the dotted line in triplicate form? Oh this was all very fishy to everyone but me…
Everyone chattered about me all about how this man was a snake stealing my inheritance right out from under my nose, while they all clamored about to claim his possessions… I’m sure you know the routine. Yet it wasn’t I my brother knew best. It was the man who accepted him for what he was when nobody else would! I lost friends when I was anywhere near Vern. Yet this man brought him friends, and gave him an extended life my brother otherwise never would have had! So I signed over the money, and made my best friend, and wife, put their clammy, sweaty hands to it too!
So you see my delicate flowers? It’s not what he left behind materially that was important, but the great generosity with which he treated everyone in real life! It was his odd ball, naturally funny personality, his great love for all of Mankind, and the beautiful, and somewhat unique bird that was within him… So the third sign really came after his death: that no matter who others think we are, if God loves us enough to prepare us for what’s coming, that means He loves him as well! And we, all of us but his true friend, the tyrant blood sucker, should have loved him more!
You should kick the crap out of your TV set
It never fails to amaze me how here in Ontario, I can subscribe to over 600 channels, all of which have nothing but crap on them! And right next door in Quebec, they have only two channels, both showing great movies, but THEY’RE BOTH IN FRENCH!! The commercials are longer than the shows themselves, and I’m really not interested in watching: ‘How it’s Made’ to see how they process beef jerky which is just another synonym for burnt meat! Why don’t you just inject yourself WITH CANCER! TV sets belong in the junk yard! If you think that more channels means better selection, YOU’RE ALL TOTALLY OUT OF YOUR LIVING SKULLS!
Is there anything on TV that wasn’t made for a sixteen year old? Oh sure! What a 62 year old needs, is to run right out and buy an expensive bottle of ZIT CREAM!! Just how many movies does Arney have to make before he became HITLER over CALIFORNIA, before we all realize the REAL WAR, is right here at home trying to wrestle open a tin of peas! And why do they have so many shows telling Criminals the proper way to slit your throat? Don’t we have enough death and violence in the kitchen? Now, they have a show on the Travel Channel called: ‘Wives with Knives!’ What does stabbing you Ex to death have to do with going to Tim Buck 2? If you’re all so fired up on going somewhere, how-come you’d rather watch the weather channel than get up off your sorry asses and LOOK OUT THE WINDOW???
Is it really necessary to shout at football games, spewing hamburger meat all over the living room, when the truth of the matter is, THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU ANYWAY!! And why pray tell, do you put the commercial on pause when you go for a tinkle? Afraid you’re going to miss how their car out performs yours? I’d rather KILL MYSELF at a BUS STOP!! And why do I pay for dozens of repeats? Who on God’s green earth (OK… Charcoal brown…), expects to watch 9 hours of Coronation Street, without slipping into a coma? That’s the most BORING show I’ve ever seen, and in MY CASE, it only makes for projectile vomiting! And a Lion, ripping apart a Gazelle, looks just like you, AT THE DINNER TABLE!! If you want MY ADVICE, you should kick the LIVING CRAP out of your TV set!! It’s even better than WANKING OFF!!
The First Symptoms
I don’t know where to begin really. Sometimes it just seems so unreal to me; like it couldn’t have happened, yet it did. About four years ago to this very day, I walked into my grocery store expecting to see a normal looking produce section. Instead I saw a large piece of broccoli clinging to the back of a woman’s heavy-knit sweater… So I yelled out to her: “HEY MAM! YOU HAVE A HUGE HUNK OF BROCCOLI HANGING OFF THE BACK OF YOUR SWEATER!” She just kept right on walking; as if it were perfectly normal to walk around that way. Very peculiar… From that day on, I began to see roughage in the store in a different way I couldn’t seem to shake…
See, the vegetables were banding together and acting strangely, with people walking by, not noticing the vegetable conspiracy unfolding before their very eyes! I’d stop people and say: “Just look at these two! You don’t notice something odd going on?
I tried to pretend sometimes like nothing was going on, but look at the shot below…
The disease progresses
There’s a tomato with glasses on, talking to some cauliflower sheep… Perfectly normal. Yet I would go home and dream of these different vegetables, and my delusions began to get worse!
I’d leave some food on my plate, and when I came back, this is what I saw! Why were they doing this to only me? And I couldn’t escape it, because everyday they would arrange differently, to try and fool me, but I’m on to them!
I called The society of fruit and vegetable investigators (SFVI). And I’m not sure they fully understood my concerns; my special gift for seeing deeply into the produce kingdom… How would you like to eat a broccoli Poodle?
Green onions couldn’t fool me!
Peas come from pods. And we all know pods come from space… It was in that movie: “Invasion of The Body Snatchers”. Oooo! Scary
How would you like to come home to this for desert? Lock all your widows and doors and especially stay away from fruits; carrots are sweet. They’re a fruit, masquerading as a vegetable! We’ve got to stop them and stop them now before they attack me only again… Be on guard for suspicious looking fruits and vegetables!
Write to your Government Official and put an end to this madness now! And tomatoes! Oooo! They’re a fruit masquerading as a vegetable. You can’t trust them I tell ya!
Get out and garden now while you can. Grow it yourself! Then you can trust it…
Don’t you see? Corn has already invaded everyone!
So, in other words, they’re calling for more nuclear reinforcements. This doesn’t look good to me at all! I know the future. Somehow, I can just see things… Mostly my own puny future, but at times, I see that some of these worldly events are leading us into a disaster… Even Mark Chapman (The guy who killed John Lennon), said that he was choosing between killing Lennon, and blowing up a small city with a nuke! How long’s it gonna be before one of these nut-bars out there actually blows up a city? And the U.N. will be indirectly responsible!
Whatever America tries to thwart, that’s who I see causing the world more problems… It’s like igniting a fire-cracker; once you’re initiated the catalyst (a match), a whole cascade of fireworks will go off! And I see once America sticks its big nose into mid-eastern affairs, that’s the catalyst that will eventually ignite world war III… The United Nations just wheels too much power for my liking. It’s like when you tell a youngster not to touch a stove burner; then that’s the first thing they want to do. Mark my words. War is coming. And it’s coming soon…
Please understand. I am not “predicting” world events. I am not a Psychic. I am simply observing how the pendulum seems to be shifting. There’s so much turmoil in the world right now, I would be surprised if somebody didn’t set off a nuke. I think the clock of human extermination is set to 5 minutes to midnight. I would be on the alert to these signs if I were you.