Life as we know it

Inside of me, a hollow shell;

The place in which I live and dwell!

I wish I understood you well;

The rest of me is sexy!

 

A battered case of shattered glass;

The hurried pace of all who pass!

Sometimes in my face, one complete ass;

The rest of me is sexy!

 

A shameful, stupid, waste of time;

A million dreams long past their prime!

I can’t even care my life is a crime;

The rest of me is sexy!

 

People wave like ghosts a far;

Quite invisible to me as they are!

The loneliness of a cold, and distant star;

The rest of me is sexy!

 

If I were me, I’d have nothing to do with myself;

I’d pack up my uselessness, and stack it on some forgotten shelf!

I look like what’s left over from the disappearance of an elf;

The rest of me is sexy!

Curiosity

Hi!  My name is: ‘Stupid’, and it should be that, because all of Mankind only knows 5% of our oceans, and we live here!  I see many people hustling about their business, but very few of them are in scuba suits!  Why?  We have become the total sum of a world in which thinking has very little to do with our daily routine.  In fact, I will go so far as to say that we are creatures of routine, creatures of routine, creatures of routine!  Sorry!  I got caught a loop there…

If I could sum up just one word that would make us all more capable bloggers, that word wood bee: ‘Curiosity’…  C’Mon!  It’s cousin is: ‘Get me into trouble!’  LOL!  Where has our spirit of adventure gone?  We have forgotten the five ‘W’s’ of journalism: ‘What, where, why, when and whack off…’  To think on something, we need to explore.  If we find for example, that life leads to a futile process of decay, pain and death,  I might develop the opinion: ‘THAT REALLY SUCKS MAN!’

So look at that!  That title for a really good blog has just materialized out of thin air: ‘THAT REALLY SUCKS MAN!’  And why?  It solicited an emotional response.  And that’s the secret, is to get yourself all worked up first!

So listen up!  I’m a Depresoid so knowledge isn’t really a good idea for me! And I can’t go getting all stirred up with emotions!  Knowing people really stinks too!  I’m really scared of my own shadow.  ‘What was that?’  Oh…  It’s OK…  It was only my own shadow…  In fact, STAY AWAY FROM ME!  I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING!  GO AWAY!  LOL!

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Footnote:  Put this picture on a page the same color as the one The Clown is ripping through, and it makes for a great piece of stationary :O)

A Stitch in Time

Oh that really bugs me!

Some sayings are so stupid, and meaningless!  For instance: ‘A stitch in time saves nine…’  Nine what?  chestnuts?  And you treat time like a garment of some mathematical kind!  And why do we need ten fingers?  Won’t one or two get you into enough trouble as it is?  Ga ahead, (New York for ‘Go ahead) hold your fingers up and wiggle all your fingers in front of you…  Don’t you get confused?  OK, I’m a little stoned.  Grrrrr!

Besides, I like saving time.  And when I tried to tell Leslie, she completely rejected the idea!  I told her how I never button or unbutton my shirts, but just treat them like pull-overs, and I save time that way.  She said it was a law to here to do up and undo her buttons, and that I should be ashamed of myself for rejecting a time-honored tradition, insisting the law is the law, and she can’t break it now…  Completely illogical, yet it seems normal to her.  So God DOES punish me!

Was it destiny, or just plain after-shock?

I suppose Leslie does have some kind of fruitless point, yet my concerns for her, are that if she can’t accept practical, yet simply innovative instructions, then I must conclude she is an illogical creature, while I continue to bang my head against a wall…  I now have access to my neighbour’s fridge!  LOL!  Those who cannot change will die!  OK, I admit I can’t stop eating Carmel pecan yogurt ice-cream.  But that’s different!  That’s a creamy and tasty way to go!

Multi-tasking is a good way to save a stitch in nature’s pink tu tu…  Whatever…  I can do the dishes, watch TV, and cut my finger off with a butcher knife!  OK, I’m slightly delusional…  Just yesterday I tried to open a tin of condensed pony milk, with a dull can-opener.  It didn’t quite do the job, so while I was trying to pull the lid off, it suddenly gave way, I cut my finger, and accidentally elbowed my fridge!  After that, as you can well imagine, I kicked the living cheeses out of my fridge while blood squirted everywhere: it looked just like a horrendous crime scene.  Now I had a sore foot to go along with my sore elbow and the minor problem that I was bleeding profusely.  My pinky really needed a couple of stitches, but I thought about all that bother faking death at the Hospital, just so they’ll take me first!  If not, perhaps 50 cents will persuade them!

So I poured some hydrogen peroxide over it, and wrapped in up in a roll of toilet paper, applying pressure until the bleeding stopped.  Then I wrapped like 10 band-aids over it.  Today, I’m all white, my heart has stopped beating, and I have this strange craving for blood, and to quickly find a coffin my size, that comes in burgundy, and must smell like men’s cologne!  I’m sure I’ve saved over 500 years, and I’m not even 63 ’til next month…  Hint:  I wanna Choo Choo train, a microscope and an all expenses paid trip The Caribbean.  I also want my Mummy!  I plan to model her in my livingroom.  Then I think shock treatments would save me some time.  Don’t you?  Sometimes I think I’m starving, and I can hardly close the refrigerator door…  OK, I’ll tell you about my home planet :O(

 

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Prey for Me!

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Lettus Prey…

Dearest Daddio;

Thanks for the free Blue Ray Player so I can watch 300 new movies!

Thanks for teaching me how to Cha-Cha, and be a flap happy Clown!

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Help take care of my stupid friends!

Make me wise enough to become greedy!

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I know that you are all powerful over me!

I really enjoy the wine, weed and magic mushrooms, all strictly organic!

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I ask you forgive my many rechid, disgusting, unfathomable sin carnage!

But you have to admit that I eat everything that moves!

Lastly, thank you for my good looks! – Awe Man!

My 10 Things ‘To Do’ List

  • Getting up earlyI’m sure this is on everyone’s list, almost…  I find the adage: ‘Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man/woman, healthy, wealthy, and wise!’  I know!  It’s a bitch when you can’t get a Jimmy Hendrix tune out of your head until 3 O’clock in the morning…
  • Clean up the house I must admit that all the constantly occurring messes can sometimes get the better of me.  I find that if I start doing something, even though I don’t want to, once I get into it, I want to…
  • Finding something to do This is a tough on for a lot of people!  I’m not one of those people.  If I’m not on the computer, I’m running, lifting weights, doing house-work, going shopping or working at some construction job Bone Head digs up for us.  Plus, I do a lot of research and tend after Leslie because of her many aches and pains.  Having so many hobbies as I do helps!
  • Don’t back-slideI guess a ‘not to do’ can be classified as a ‘to do’ because you have to practice not doing it, so really, it must be a ‘to do’…  It’s so easy to rationalize your way through the day with phrases like: ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself!’ and: ‘Just this once won’t make any difference!’  Well it does, and you have to be hard on yourself if you’re going to stick to the routine that got you to the place you are now!  You have to really be determined and give yourself a lot of pep talks to tow the line like you should.  This is not for praise, or to gloat!  It’s only what you should be doing that’s going to bring you benefits in life, or you may just as well not be here, as to just sit around and occupy space…  In my book, that’s not living!
  • Only eat when I’m hungryYou’ve heard the term: ‘Comfort food?’  Well, it’s extremely difficult sometimes not to feel so sorry for yourself that you fill up on so many sweet things that you’d have to exercise for 3 days straight to get rid of: not worth it for me!  So now I practice saying: ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself!’  Then I can get on with my life!
  • Try to take a dump at least once a monthLOL!  Unfortunately, I’m not a big prune juice fan…  It might sound outrageous, but with all the money I spend monthly on supplements, I still have to convince myself to part with the bucks for probiotics!  I truly need them if I even hope for a regular bowel movement once a day…
  • Communicate with Leslie moreThis is one thing that men generally suck at!  I constantly have to remind myself that although I find plenty to do all day, everyday, she is stuck in bed all day watching TV.  And I wouldn’t wish that on my worse enemy…  I have to remember that and implement it more often! 
  • Fight my depression Thinking positively is difficult with this mentally debilitating disease!  Every day is a challenge to motivate myself, make plans, be involved with others…  My mind always wants to do the opposite of these things, and I have to be constantly alert to this and reverse my thinking, blot other things out of my mind so often during the course of a day, I sometimes wonder: ‘Is it live?  Or Memorex?’
  • Always find someone to help It’s difficult when you’re waddling in self pity all day, fighting off greedy thoughts and the temptation to make rodents suffer for your own short-comings, to consider that you’re not the only one with demons to wrestle with.  I have very little money, and it’s so hard to part with.  LOL!  However, there are those worse off than me, and I must keep giving them a little something to help them get by.  Who else is gonna do it?  And it’s not just money.  They need to be comforted as well!
  • Leave what’s outside, outside  Believe it or not, I become very irate at all the stupid things I see people doing around me!  This only hurts me!  I would do well to understand that from their point of view, I may look stupid to them too…

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