People think I’m sucking off the system because I’m disabled, when it was in fact the system that disabled me…  People are generally judgemental and self assuming…  Most are envious and suppose I lay around all day sipping lemonade.  Nothing could be farther from the truth!  Work is where you find it, and I do quite a lot without any pay at all.  Not my fault they can’t spell: ‘Career’…  That doesn’t look right…  How do you spell ‘Career’? I do the things I love to do: all of it involves work.  Who needs pay when you have a purpose higher than serving people fatty cow meat?  There’s an ethical question involved too, and a competence factor…  People are always promoted to just the position they can’t master: I see more people suffering as a result of how they’re treated in society via a lack of responsible, congenial, competent public servants, administrators, Doctors, Dentists, etc..  So my theory is:  Everything is backwards… 

If you’re sick for instance, how do they expect you to have the energy to go to a Doctor?  There was a time when they came to you!  What logic is there in fighting disease when you cram people with various viruses in the same waiting room?  In Queens English, work doesn’t work!  Why is it that Tennis Players make millions every year for playing a ‘game’, and construction workers can’t afford to buy their own homes?  Backwards!  You want fair? If everyone helped everyone else, no one need suffer for goods and services at all! 

Those who clean your offices keep the air clean so you don’t get sick!  How are they less valuable than highly paid Scientists who just sit around and think all day?  We tell people not to smoke, and then sell them cigarettes!  What kind of backward CRAP is that?  I tell you, the whole system has to be wiped out, and revised!  If you work a day, you should have a day off to pursue other interests rather than them owning you lock, stock and barrel! (barrel?)  How did that get in there?  Help me build my house, and I’ll help you build yours, rather than someone who didn’t do the work should occupy…  So backwards!!  What say you?



Have Some Ha Ha!

  • Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”
    Student: “Meat!”
    Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
    Student: “Bacon!”
    Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
    Student: “Homework!”


  • A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”


  • A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”


  • Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, “I hate my mother-in-law.” The other replies, “Well, just eat your noodles, then.”
  • If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.
  • What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?  It gets toad away.
  • A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
  • There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
  • A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
  • Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
  • Do not be racist; be like Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
  • Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?” Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”



The: ‘Eat Flab’ Miricle Diet…

Hi Friends! 

Are you tired of grazing on your front lawn, digging for grubs, weeds, and roots, when you just know, that somewhere, someone, is sinking their milk-teeth into a cow?  Have you dashed out the door for exercise at 6am., only to wind up on a park bench, sleeping until the sun goes down?  Does the dial on your bathroom scale read ‘0’ when you try to weigh yourself?  Do you look like this?


Well worry no more!  Our Scientists have been working now for 15 years without sleep, and have found a previous unheard of way to put some meat on your bones.  Through intensive, sloppy observations of real, glutinous, pigs, we have finally found a way of having you look like ‘The Blob’ in not time!

Step One:

Overweight guy on couch, in front of the TV,  drinking beer and eating popcorn

Our Scientists (all graduates from Holy Cross Public School!) went to real, fat people’s homes, studying their inactivity for 15 years without sleep, and concluded that drinking beer while watching TV, is an excellent way to heap on valuable flab within the span of a football game!  Isn’t that amazing!

Step Two:

As a valuable consumer of everything, we’ll send you this authentic beached whale!  Actually, it’s just a shot of a sardine in a tin, through a macro lens, but the two look very similar!  All you pay, is shipping and handling… Eat 40 lbs. of nutritious flab a day to achieve desired results… Our Scientists, still sleepless in Seattle, have conclusively proven that a healthy 6 inches of blubber shields one from the cold, and readily absorbs high impact projectiles!

_0006_Beached whale

Step: Three:

Enjoy the new you!  The envious will call you rude names like: ‘Slim’ and ‘Gorgeous’…  That’s why, if you act later, we’ll double our offer of absolutely FREE! That’s two FREE’S for the price of one!  Don’t be a gaunt, nothing, forging for plant life, when our fatty deposits are linning supermarket freezers, just waiting for you to gorge on, including the packaging!  Why exercise when it only makes you hungry anyway?  Help keep our planet in a stable orbit!  Join the millions who’ve already joined The: ‘Eat Flab’ Miricle Diet!  Comes with optional fibralator and oxygen tank.  Don’t be skinny and sickly looking a moment longer!  Get flab today!

Directly to you, from our team of advanced Scientists at Country Style Donuts…


Infinite Expansion

Let’s Split

When I put my shoes on every morning of my run, my sneakers squeak louder than the cat’s meow!  I thought they were called sneakers for a reason…  proving once again, that backward thinking is the norm.  I sit here between two adjacent mirrors.  Once, in an attempt to capture infinity in motion, I bounced a tennis ball here.  Instead, I stuttered for a month!  I wonder if a pair of void schizophrenics sat here, if they wouldn’t turn into a multitude?  I promise on day I’ll capture an image of me going on and on and on and on…  That’s my warm up for the day.  Hope it gave you a chuckle!




The  ‘m’ stands for ‘mother’… Mitochondrial DNA is not mixed.  It is passed on by the mother only!  Might I con Dria?  Read the caption if you don’t believe me.  Since my voracity is called into question by those of little faith, unable to move mole hills, let alone mountains, I must pee on my tree and defend my territory.  Here you will find the latest ‘honest’ research on the advantages of consuming PQQ and co-Q-10 in tandem: 

BTW, the old tea bag who discovered this, lived to be 103!  Me?  This just helps me survive until something better comes along I figure.  New developments are popping up all the time!  They need your help though, or small minds will crush it!  I will share two of them here with you now.




Notice at the end ‘substrate level’, Resveratrol  ( have to teach my own dictonary how to spell) only comprises one quarter of the entire substrate.  And there are not 1 but 7 Sirt proteins that play a role in life extension!  In point of fact, mega doses of resveratrol only impedes the results of exercise.  Where as PQQ quickly dispaches of oxygen ‘free radicals’ created by exercise and illuminates them!  Look carefully in the ‘complex formation’ section, and you’ll find LSD in there!  LOL!  So for a comfortable dose of Resveratrol, just eat red grapes…  Below, is a link to current research on that.  This is the one that caused mice equivalent to 90 year old human age, on the brink of death, to become active again and reversed to the equivelent to that of a 45 year old human!  Contrary to popular belief, we descend from rodents: mice in particular.  That’s why Scientists use them for research…  (silly dangling paragraph)…


Wrapping you up in love



I don’t convey the truth at all times, to belittle or criticize you in any fashion.  ‘More or less’ intellectuals are just that.  They ration out information in a more or less fashion in attempts to circumvent their own arrogance.  Watch or rent: ‘The Owl and The Pussy Cat’ staring George Seagull and Barbara Streisand: my two favorite old time actors, out standing in their field, next to Doug Mc.Clur and Clitoris Leachman.  How did they get there?  Freaking persistence that’s how!  I know you’ve probably seen the movie.  But did you learn anything or just enjoy the giggles?  Do you really know what you know?  

Look!  ‘that that is is that that is not is not is that not it is…’  Punctuate that for me will you?  If any of you say the movie ‘Charley’ yet did not read the book:  Flowers for Algernon – By Danial Keys, you’re missing something!

Back in 1972 I was a youthful, lively, invigorated 20 years of age.  In the spring of that year, when people emerge from their dungeons with their masks off for a brief period, hoping Spring will somehow rub off on them, on the Ferry to Toronto Island, or Wards Island specifically, to visit a friend who lived there, a rather large crowd had gathered on deck, so I excused my way through the thongs to see what was up, and what all the laughter was all about.

And there in the center, surrounded, was a tired, old, ragged, dirty, unshaven, street person, who was probably given the fair by a kind soul, holding a bag of popcorn.  What a joke apparently!  As their laughter grew, so did my outrage at this pathetic display of hard-heartedness!  So I entered the empty space that separated him from so called people, smiled warmly at him, so he would know I had a plan and wasn’t just being rude, I reached into his bag, took out a handful of popcorn, and began munching on it beside him, facing the crowd!  The laughter fell dead, and the crowd dispersed.  The old gentle man and myself had a pleasant and enlightening conversation there-after.  BTW, I caught no disease from him.

So how do we change opinions?  Not by whinning, begging, spiffy posts, con jobs or theft.  Rather by setting the example for others; by lighting their path along the way. by expressing your own opinion rather than following that of others.  We are not here, to get pats on the back or gain enough praise to be noticed by the wicked.  So I leave you with a simple prayer you know only too well: ‘God grant me the serenity to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference!’  Perhaps now you see, it’s not just life itself we need to extend, rather, the quality with which we live it…  Infinite Expansion or seclusion in the grave.  It’s up to you.  It’s ALL up to you!