My Big Fat Award

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Hi;  I’m not here, not to thank WordPress, for an award I didn’t receive, for not being here for three years now!  Yay…  I’d also not like to thank the 40 million people on WordPress that don’t know I’m not here, nor could they give a rat’s ass, which neither do I.  Thanks for nothing!  As you can’t see, I’ve been in a real big hurry not to present this from three days ago…

My six loyal fans will tell you that it’s been a real trick for me to have them show up all at the same time, to laugh at my tripe.  Apparently, some people who’ve received no likes at all, have been jealous of my good fortune, spending less and less time here over the last three or four months:  I don’t care which.  I can’t tell you what this means to me.  There are children present!

So go away, don’t bug me, and I won’t even notice that nobody was ever here in the first place.  Feather more, I’d like not to acknowledge that Google doesn’t know I’m here either.  And Frankly, I Shirley am not insulted by what little intelligence I have left.  So, in closing, it has certainly been the thrill of a lifetime talking to myself!

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Anatomy of a Band

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Introduction:

More than just: ‘Let’s do this…’

It can be a great illusion when people frefer to members of a band as: ‘Players’…  To say that we ‘play’ an instrument is an understatement.  Good Musicians let their instruments play with them!  Just look at what you can set up on an amp now-a-days, and you begin to get some idea of the different set ups and effects one can achieve.  This is my larger ‘Pevey’ amp.  It pumps out 30 watts (whats?).  Well it does some serious power amping, and can sound ranchy, normal, echo, time delay, and a host of other combinations.  This is definately an amp you find yourself fiddling with a lot!  So for one thing, you have to be a bit of a technician.  It does have a memory bank listed at the bottom of the picture above, as presets 1, 2, 3, and 4…  That way, you can easily flip to a sound you need.  To start to find a normal sound, you have to start by setting your ‘stompbox to: ‘Bypass’ so no effect is in fact in effect.  There’s a bypass on the ‘effects’ knob as well…

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My Babies

Touch and Percision

I prefer greatly to play an electric guitar as apposed to an accustic one for a few reasons.  One of which is that the action (how close the strings are to the neck), is far better.  The strings are more flexible on an electric, and because of the many sounds and stumming techniques that just won’t work well with an accustic guitar.  Yet this is the least expensive of my worries.  It is an Epiphoine copy of a Les Paul, and cost me $700 three years ago.  His name is : ‘Edward’…

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This is: ‘Clairabelle’  She’s been my girl for 22 years now.  She’ has great curves and comes onto me more often than not!  She is a special addition Martin.  Only 24 of these were made.  She uses up a lot of my energy, so I like to use her for soft songs of romance and murder…  This guitar, I bought in Detriot for $3500 American.  Sometimes we have sex when nobody’s lookin!

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Singing can be exhausting!  Some songs are so fast, that you are literally tapped of breath by the time you finish them!  However, I seem to bewitch myself when I sing, which only adds to the flavor of my voice.  I’m greatly pleased how quiting smoking so greatly improved my depth and range!  As any real band member will tell you: playing music while you sing, is really a form of exercise.

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Then There’s the Getting Along Part

Sometimes I just wanna rip their heads off

Above is a picture of Two Dogs and me…  Notice that he’s left handed so our guitars face in oposite directions.  Sometimes Two Dogs refuses to harmonize, or looses it or something.  So I like to call him: ‘Tone deaf…’  Sometimes he looses where he’s going on guitar as well, and it really pops my cork!

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Here is a picture of The Mad Man’s drums…  Sort of…  He does have a big set with lots of symbols, and sometimes a tamborine on the high hat.  Him I have to correct when he tries to tell use what amps to use.  Two Dogs Bass amp puts out 120 watts.  There’s no reason he needs to use my equipment.  So I tell him to go wait for a bus!  ‘Find an Out-house to sniff!’  Something…  If he starts shouting at me, I just smile and it makes him laugh.

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Timing is Everything

No!  It’s 1, 2, 3, 4!

I would rather be out of tune and in time than the other way round.  If you aren’t ‘tight’ as a band, you may just as well pack up and go home.  There are six amps because we use two for mics…  Our dream is to get a real PA system and a Mixer. The Mad Man is apparently going to buy the PA system and have Two Dogs and me pay him back our share on a payment plan.  Boy!  Will he ever be mad when we tell him we only have a grand total of $1.27!

Here is a gallery of print sized jpgs., inluding these, in case you want to print anything or shink it to desktop size, sell them and make a small fortune.  I wouldn’t mind a few million bucks of my own ya know!  I’ll bet you every band’s favorite Beatle song is: ‘The One After 909′  LOL!  Apparently, the band: The Decrepits’ will have a new member soon.

Don’t Waste My Time

Go Away!

If you haven’t got the stomach to hear the truth, then leave!  Just go away!  I sit here giving you truth and wonder if it’s because I was once a Yo Ho that you hate to hear it from me or something?  You and your little world full of pain,poverty,bad air, bad water bad mouths, rotten diets, lazy dispositions, see without eyes, loving without trust or compassion, smacking your kids around, telling them to SHUT UP, just because they laugh in the back seat of your cars…  Yeah…  I know all about you and your lying nonjudgmental poop!  I’ve already tasted what you have to offer a long time ago.  It’s no news to me.  You love your things, not each other.  I”ve had it with you!  All you ever do is make me feel bad about myself!  The ‘Go Away’ part is directed at me!  I’m leaving you!  You’re not worth the spiral top you came from!  Enjoy your apathy. They’re coming to put you all out of your misery!  LOOSERS!  Goodbye you big group of nobodies…  I hope you die young!!!

How to Defeat Depression!

Don’t Take Life So Seriously.

http://mentalhealthnews.org/new-insight-into-link-between-depression-and-physical-pain/84249/  Here’s a site that explains just how ‘out of proportion’ a depressed person can make of the world around him/her!  Briefly, it’s about how our pain may be disproportionate to the amount of pain actually present!   Being a Bi-Polar Depressoid myself, I can vouch that we blow all kinds of things out of proportion!  Our fear of the unknown, our own incompetence in our ability to function as others do, or that someone might find out our helplessness in decision making.  Someone could detect nervousness, sadness, and a myriad of ‘what if’s’ that stop us from acting upon motivation, and paralyze us, which no doubt is a lack of confidence triggered by a disproportionate scene of fear.  That in turn, causes us to imagine unrealistically, all kinds of negative scenarios, which you yourself, are so certain are going to happen!  Needless to say, the opposite could also be true!  We don’t know the future.; We just expect things to go wrong, and so they do…

Why Am I Depressed?

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http://www.theholisticlifestylecentre.com/why-am-i-depressed/  This site is called:  ‘Holistic Health Practitioner’.  Does it not make perfect sense to you, that if you do all the things necessary to make make a concerted effort to stop thinking of everything in terms of black and white, color might catch on; the world outside of you is in at least 56 million colors that I know of!  Venture into this world,  and explore it on your own terms!  You will find many things to do of interest by sitting down and truly defining all of your interests,  and start pursuing them! 

Maybe the TV is getting you down.  Perhaps its the crushing impact of a heartless, headless world full of misery, pollution and corruption?  Whatever it is,  the key to changing your mood is to get busy getting outside,  with places to go ,and things to do!  Failure is possible for anyone of us on any given day!   It’s how we handle that ourselves that truly determines our next step!  It is possible for you to persuade yourself, to simply move on to better things, and not dwell on failures, but seek, and expect success instead!    Maybe not today or tomorrow, but  success will find you!  That is, happiness, joy, continued good feelings…  This in itself, is true success by far!

 

To Fail or to Succeed?

The choice has always been yours!

What you imagine, is exactly what you will cause to happen!  If you show that you are always negative, always doubtful, always looking toward the bad side of things, then you will truly attract those kinds of things and people!  ‘Birds of a feather!’  It’s true…  If on the other hand, you begin to believe in yourself, this will also be apparent to others, and attract more positive people and things.  Simple?  Practice it night and day!  Always look for the good around you.

Practice thinking about how you can help others to achieve they’re goals, and you will not only learn how to come up with your own ideas and achieve them you will be of much greater inspiration to others!  Set yourself to task, mindful always of correcting your way of thinking toward a cheer filled and constructive life!  You may even learn to laugh at yourself, so no one else will take your failures so seriously either!  Everybody fails…  That’s how we all learn…  If you truly want to be happy, think positively, surround yourself with positive people, learn to laugh at your own mistakes and you can not help but live a happy and successful life.  Remember!  Attitude is everything!  Start out with a bad attitude, you may as well go back to bed! 

Question Period:

Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself?

A:  By attempting to develop new skills and improving upon old ones…

Q: What do I do, if I start to feel paranoid in public?

A:  Ask yourself if it is real, or imagined.  Ask yourself if your mood may have triggered it?

Q What do I do when I feel like I can’t breathe?

A: Put your head between your legs and take deep breaths…  Don’t fart!

Q:  How can I stop my heart from beating so fast?

A:  Place both your wrists under cold water for 3 minutes…  This will slow your heart rate back down to normal by cooling and there-by slowing the blood flow to and from the heart.

Q:Will I ever get well?  That definitely depends upon how diligent you’re willing to become toward improving your physical health, mental attitude (the way you view yourself and how you fit in the world around you.  If you just want to stay hidden in a corner brooding, you will only get more depressed.

Q:  Will people think my condition is my fault?

A:  If you keep using your depression as an excuse for everything that goes wrong for you?  Yes!

Q:  If I were to stop smoking cigarettes, and stopped drinking, stopped whining why things can’t always be perfect, start taking better care of my body, moods, and constantly make a conscious effort to replace bad thoughts with good ones, happy ones, will I improve?  Yes!  Immensely!

Q: Do other people see me the same way I see myself?

A:  Nope!  You’re a real screw-ball!  Look at them?  Do you see them as they really are?  Society dictates they only reveal their good side, and in this way, wear masks that too often confuse us about others real motives!  Try calling one a phony bologna, and watch how quickly they change!

Q:  Why are things always so unexpected to me?

A:  Because you’re not expecting them; you’re not anticipating what may be waiting for you before you get them.  Remember when you used to run different scenarios through your mind and would try to think of a solution for each viable problem that may arise?  Yes, well it’s called ‘thinking’, and I’d like you to start practice doing that again.  Then when you arrive to where you’re going, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident to face any situation that may befall you; in this way, you free yourself up to now concentrate on why you went there in the first place, without a case of nerves, or, in the worst case scenario, complete, and total paralysis…   Better you should be you…

 

So how is it you prefer to see yourself really?

As the sad young woman above, which pushes people from her?

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Or as this attractive young lady, with the infectious laugh, who draws people toward her?  The road to death?  Or the road to life?  Choose…  And this time?  Please choose wisely!    ‘Help yourself to a little bit of what is all around you!  Silly Girl! ‘  ( Martha- The Beatles.  Curiously enough, this was a song Paul  wrote about his dog.