Listen up, and listen up good!

This is for all you fony balogna ‘friends’ out there…  I know you want perfect people, and I’m not that, so get lost!  This includes: ‘Amy Rose!’  I’m cleaning house right now.  I got rid of the steaming tea bag, Romeo (Bonehead), cuz he’s just a mooch off me, and I probably will ditch Leslie too, cuz she’s just a lying bitch-witch!  Anybody else wants to cross me, you’ll see what you get!  Let’s get one thing straight right now…  I don’t ‘need’ any of you!  I’ve got enough imagination to keep me busy on my own for a lifetime!  So go ahead and act like them, and see what happens to you!  I’m my own person!  You don’t like it?  Piss off!!

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What I Wouldn’t Do for Fudge

  • I wouldn’t join the Army for fudge, but I would join the Marines for underwater fudge cropping’s!
  • I wouldn’t walk 60 miles for fudge, but I would hire an Eskimo, hop on his back, and point him in the right direction!
  • I wouldn’t kill for fudge, but I would seriously maim you, and try to pry it from your hands!
  • I wouldn’t buy a ton of fudge, but I would buy 1999.999 pounds weighed out to the closest possible nickel!
  • I wouldn’t lie for fudge, but I would exaggerate beyond your wildest imagination!
  • I wouldn’t cry, cut myself, dance, and throw at temper tantrum for fudge, but I would cry, cut myself, and throw a temper tantrum!
  • I wouldn’t disagree to share my fudge, but I would set up a road block, plant land mines, and hire an assault team!
  • Fudge wouldn’t be the first thing I’d pray for, but it would be the last.  I always save the best for last!
  • Fudge wouldn’t make me hallucinate, but there’s definitely a pink Elephant, with orange poke-a-dots, pigging out on fudge in my closet!
  • I wouldn’t love fudge more than my wife, but if fudge could have children I would!
  • I wouldn’t act like Superman for fudge, but don’t make me find a phone-booth!
  • I wouldn’t climb to the top of the highest mountain for fudge, but I would eat my way up!

Better Blogging Techniques

Visual Tags

I was CONTEMPLATING Evelyn wood’s SPEED READING course, and came up with a SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT idea to help us beginners along when reading, long drawn out blogs…  Ordinarily, we read from left to right, horizontally, LINE by line.  It’s possible however, to READ vertically, just scanning down the PAGE quickly, and look for KEY WORDS that give you the JIST of the entire ARTICLE.  It suddenly occurred to me while I was watching my favorite COMEDIAN PERFORM: ‘LEWIS BLACK.’ i saw that part of the REASON he was so FUNNY, was because he would EMPHASIZE certain words in his SENTENCES, and POINT with his FINGER when he did so!

ACCENTING particular WORDS this way is very easy to do, and SHOWS me just where all of my TAGS are, so I can quickly SKIM through the article and easily FIND all of my tags, and that it also improves my MEMORY because I also CONSIDER if I have already tagged a certain word before.  Like-wise, it gives BEGINNERS an OPPORTUNITY to ADAPT to longer reads by just PICKING out the main ENCAPSULATION of the article!

At FIRST, it was a little TRICKY as is any NEW LEARNING EXPERIENCE, yet you can quickly get the HANG of it!  Now I certainly don’t PLAN on using this in every single BLOG I write.  However, I do intend to WRITE a few of them this way, so that I cover a VARIETY of CATEGORIES, just to see how PROFICIENT this new way of BLOGGING truly is.  I KNOW  what you’re THINKING: is this going to confuse SEARCH ENGINES when all of my tags are capitalized?  I’m not just sure.  However, people have told me that I’m MISSING out on a larger blogging AUDIENCE by not using INTERNET EXPLORER…

I DISAGREE!  Internet Explorer can also bring you HACKERS to take over your COMPUTER, and VIRUSES that can shut you down for GOOD!  My blogging audience keeps steadily GROWING, and if I COMMENT and, ADD new BLOGGERS to my viewer CUSTOMER BASE on my READER and frequent FACEBOOK more often, this should be sufficient enough in itself to attract others to my blog.  I’ve also noticed that tags become less frequent as I PURSUE a specific TOPIC line.  And it gives NEWBIES a better IDEA of what words are appropriate for TAGGING and which ones are not…

Point Form

Give a MAN the TOOLS to build a HOUSE who’s never seen a house before, and he will BUILD you a very UNIQUE house! So I can’t over emphasize the VALUE of IMAGINATION and CREATIVITY as the two of the foremost tools NECESSARY for EMPLOYING BETTER BLOGGING TECHNIQUES!  For this REASON our VOCABULARY tends to grow, having us employ larger words to both shorten the length of our blogs and DRIVING our point HOME in a more PICTURESQUE FASHION.  Although, you should never use a LONG  word where a SHORT one will do, point form is a rather INGENIOUS  way of encapsulating MATERIAL, it also can be used to RECAP main THEMES and CONCEPTS when the idea of a blog is particularly COMPLEX in NATURE.

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The Most Important Thing in The World

‘The most important thing in the world isn’t knowledge, because it is limited.  The most Important thing in the world, is imagination, because it is unlimited!’

-Albert Einstein

New Inventions

This is an Artists concept of a plasma powered rocket, that travels faster and burns fuel slower than conventional liquid fueled rockets.  They have one draw-back though.  They can only attain speeds great enough to be useful for travel within our own solar system, including Oort Cloud, limiting it’s capacity to about half a light year, or about 3 trillion miles distance from Earth.

Plasma Powered Space-craft

Unlimited Speed

Below, is an Artists concept of an Ion powered inter-stellar space craft, that can approach 99% the speed of light (186,243 miles per second).  Ion power seems to be a weak force a first, propelling the space craft very slowly.  Yet as the propellant is applied on a continual basis, the craft would have picked up enough speed to pass Neptune in two weeks!  Feather more, Ions are abundant on Earth and is extremely compact so that huge, bulky space ships wouldn’t be necessary…   This technology already exists, so we are now preparing people for the rigors of Inter-stellar space travel!  

Ion Powered Space-craft

 

My silly ideas

I thought while I was shaving this morning, [Why don’t they invent a cream a man can put on his face before they go to sleep (In the royal position of corpse), and simply rinse off in the morning, along with all the facial hair]?  Then Leslie said: ‘It’s already been invented’.  And so I said: ‘Awe darn it all to Heck!  If it’s already been invented, why aren’t I using it?  Perhaps it didn’t catch on because of the lack of people who feel comfortable sleeping in the royal position (On your back).  Or maybe Dumbo (Me), didn’t look for it hard enough.

I thought of another one though, while I was looking at Leslie’s Cane.  Why can’t it have a steel handle, and then you just use a band around your hand with a metal plate, and it would keep people from ever dropping their canes again.  In fact, we can make the magnet so powerful, that they can never put them down…

I know!  We could go to a seeing-eye dog convention, and steal all their hamburgers!  Don’t forget about the dangerous side of imagination; it’s a two way street.