The Difference Between Boys and Girls

  • Give a girl a tube of lipstick, and she’ll paint her lips and play: ‘Dress up’…
  • Give it to a boy, and he’ll use it in his coloring book!
  • Give a girl a stick, and she’ll marvel at the wonders of nature…
  • Give it to a boy, and he sees a gun!
  • Boys have a messy room!
  • Girls have a messy room, but it’s a good smelling mess…
  • Girls learn to talk before boys…
  • Boys first learn to make machine gun sounds!
  • Take a girl to Church, she’ll be humbled to learn about God…
  • Take a boy to Church, and he’ll manage to jump in every puddle on the way there, and back, even if you’re driving!
  • Boys may grow their nails because they forgot to cut them…
  • Girls grow their nails to dig them into boys arms!
  • If a girl should belch, she wouldn’t dare come out in public…
  • If a boy should belch, he immediately follows up with a dozen fake ones!
  • A girl knows when to speak, and when to be quiet…
  • A boy will fart in a sleeping Ministers face, just for a laugh!
  • If you throw a girl a ball, it will bounce off her nose…
  • If you throw a boy a ball, he’ll try to catch it, and it will bounce off his nose!
  • Girls like to play: ‘House…’
  • Boys like to burn houses down!
  • A girl will sit quietly in school, and listen intently…
  • A boy will run around the room all day pretending he’s a helicopter!
  • A girl will help a blind man cross the road…
  • A boy will wait until the light turns red, and take a picture of him being hit by a car!
Advertisements

Don’t breathe: Oxygen Kills…

Introduction:

I was going to call this: ‘How to lead a good life’, but that might be misleading…  No need to look for trouble, it will find you!  The purpose of this entry, is to define the connection between staying young, and staying enthusiastic about living: because really, you can’t do one without the other.  Be prepared therefore, for a somewhat extensive introduction for a somewhat needful topic.  In fact, this whole post may skirt about so much preparation, as to consume this entire freaking entry!  fortunately for you, I don’t give a spit!  In this case, necessity is the mother of my intention.

In past articles concerning life or death, (there’s only the two choices) I’ve tried to emphasize that if you just try, anything is possible, BUT NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME!  So…  Greater emphasis on how to control the A-Bomb that seems to be exploding your guts all over my screen, seems to be in order…  We must shed our bad habits, and nuns, so that we may see the reasons to work on both physical, and mental prowess with greater gusto, (gusto?  What’s that?  An Italian wind?) so that the urgency of self-preservation become more real, with tangible results, making themselves a parent!  LOL!  And what better way to do that but through my own practice experience.

We all confront ourselves with the question, whether we’ll admit it or not, of whether or not God truly exists at all…  Scientists see a series of haphazard events, not so uncommon throughout the rest of the universe as to how and why life started.  If that’s true, and you only have this one chance, wouldn’t you want to take in everything you possibly can understand about the wide, wonderful world before you actually bite the dust, buy the farm, kick the bucket, find the subway…

And if God does exist?  I seem to recall Adam and Eva Braun, standing in: ‘The Garden of Hedonism’, refusing God’s gift of ‘Ever Lasting Life’, stating that we could accomplish that for ourselves, and God saying something like: ‘Go for it!’ and initiating a kind of ‘non-interference’ policy regarding human endeavor!  He didn’t laugh and say we’re full of spit!  Did He?  So…  It would seem by this, that God, a parent, Lea, has a good deal more faith in us, than we have in Him!  Either way, you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you!  And those who choose not to respect their life are also choosing not to respect God to!  Yes?

And we’re close!  Many in the medical profession believe that the person who will live to be 1000 years old, is already alive today!  So…  Part one here, is all about dropping our excess baggage, before we can even begin to slow the effects of aging!  It will be no easy task to abandon the CRAP we’ve come to know and love.  Perhaps even insurmountable when it all boils down to quitting zombie like drugs and fair weather friends.  The real friends would stay…  Maybe one, if that.

The Dream is Over!

_0008_Dalai Lama_1

What did John Lennon mean by: ‘The Dream is Over’?  Quite simply, he meant that we should learn to wake up and start facing things as they really are: perhaps his way of saying not to put all your eggs in the same basket.  We learn by doing, not by praying.  Funny how people are!  Huh?

I’ve heard a person brag about their new-found health because they had quit smoking.  At the same time, they refused to give up pot.  That’s like avoiding to be hit by a car, so you can be hit by a bus!  Just one average sized joint (about the size of a football stadium), has the carcinogens of 10 cigareets…  So…  Two joints equal a whole pack of cigareets, so who’s quit anything in actual fact?  We rationalize our way through life to feel better perhaps, but we’re only fooling ourselves!

I was a zombie too.  Yet when I quit smoking pot and cigareets, and quit drinking, it was like I’d opened my eyes to a whole new world around me!  I was much more aware of my surroundings, able to actually think and feel again, and my angst simply vanished into thick air!  I was alive and I knew it!  Praise Cheeses!

_0008_Dalai Lama_2

What say you now?  Does real change rest with the economy, education, global warming, immigration?  Or does it reside within each one, as a personal responsiblity to ourselves, and to everyone we encounter?  I’m not saying it will be easy!  It’s one of the hardest and scariest things to do in this life!  But it brings with it, love, peace, discipline, joy, understanding, and a much better altitude toward everything!

Yet there are those who will read this, and think I’m talking through my cap: dreaming the impossible!  They’ll see only flaws, and miss all the good parts because they accept nothing on faith or trust: believe nothing but the surface of things, only acknowledging weakness, not only barring themselves from giving love, but receiving it as well.  They will die alone, and be quickly forgotten because they never learned the one thing that could save them: ‘Compassion!’ Look it up…  And if you like surprises, Google it!

_0008_Dalai Lama_3

Self Discipline…

Self discipline requires patience: you should never give up, not even once!  For this may be a fall from which you will never recover!  And patience requires not only will power, but a constant presence of mind, that you have a goal to achieve: and one after that, and one after that, and so on, until you become the person you wish to be.  Patience also requires faith and trust in yourself to begin saying: ‘No!’ permanently to falsehood, and: ‘Yes!’ permanently to achievement…  And the greater the reward, the longer it takes to achieve it.

_0008_Dalai Lama_4

There’s that dirty ‘self discipline’ phrase again!  And that stupid: ‘I have the word SUCKER tattooed on my forehead!’ compassion, has also raised its ugly head!  Tolerance means:  I LOVE YOU!!   And I’m going to put my hand into this burning fire until you say YOU LOVE ME…  …  …  …  ALRIGHT i HATE YOUR GUTS!!’ – Frank Goshen imitating Kirk Douglas.  That’s how difficult holding onto tolerance can be!  But if you lose it, your antagonizer has won!  If you must, think of them as a pesky irritant you will one day whack with a fly swatter.  Meanwhile, be tolerant!  Tolerance, as you may have guessed by now, is why you must develop patience first.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven!  Put your heart into it…

What’s all this have to do with the title?  Well, when you exercise, you take in more oxygen.  And the more oxygen you take in, the more free radicals it makes in your body, until it overwhelms your body’s defenses and does damage to your DNA.  When enough damage is done, you die.  The technical term for it is called:  ‘oxidative stress.’

So you see?  I didn’t lie!  Stop breathing now!  LOL!  This leaves us hopefully prepared for part 2, which promises to be much more interesting for you I trust.  Meanwhile, contemplate what I’ve said here and of what significance it has for you.  Have a whopping great day, and remember: Don’t breathe: Oxygen Kills…  Any queries?

Where Does God Live?

Below is a response I gave to Pat…  I presently await her answer.  Some of you know her, and some don’t!  She is very close to God and before I begin, I want you to know that I do respect her beliefs, and have felt the presence of a superior being working within my life as well.  So the object of this post is NOT to deny God’s existence, but to get answers.  I thought perhaps if I widen my scope of enquiry, it my improve my understanding of God!  Comprehending me?  Anyway, this below, was my questioning to her.  You must go to her site to see how this all began.  Click on: ‘One Wish’ and read the comments section for the whole scoop:  https://patcegan.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/one-wish/

 

Dear Darling One; How did you get so wise huh? You make people pick up their Bibles! According to Heb. 11:1 ‘Faith is the assured expectation of what is hoped for,+ the evident demonstration* of realities that are not seen.’ I was a Jehovah’s Witness. They used to be called ‘Bible Students’ because they know the Bible so well! Too bad they don’t put it into practice… Anyway, they have a great site for grabbing quotes from the Bible and much more:  http://www.jw.org/en/
You surprised me that you used quantum mechanics as a rhealm where impossibilities become possible!

 

Lets move to the other end of the scale shall we? When a star dies, it releases all the elements that made us. We are literally composed of star-dust. Yes? So if the stars made us, how could God have done so? We can look back to the very beginning of the universe within every possible spectrum of light, and we haven’t found hide nor hair of the man? LOL! Add to this, if he is perfect, how on earth did he create such an imperfect being as us? All through life, we find that everything we’re told is a lie. Yet I’m supposed to believe what sounds like the biggest whopper of all! And since time did not exist before the beginning of the universe, how could God have existed to make the thing?

 

Since organised religion could never answer me, and I have caught them in mistakes like: ‘God will not create life anywhere else until He perfects us!’ Yet now we know there are, as a conservative estimate, 33 billion Earth like planets in our galaxy alone (not including exo-moons), any one of which, an advanced being with what we’d call supernatural powers could have emerged from… And since a star moved across the sky, and then hovered over a manager, it’s hard not to think: ‘Space-craft’ And since Religion has zip for answers, I’m inclined to have questions. I do NOT deny that God exists. I simply feel that He talks to us in ways that people could understand 2000 years ago. Yet by expanding an element of mystery to His nature, He looks larger and more powerful than us.

 

He says we can’t see Him because He’s a spirit, yet if He made us in his image, as having a spiritual nature as well, then why not? And since we are now on the verge of being able to greatly extend our own lives, and learning more every day about how to improve our own way of life, why do we need Him? I know… Just saying this stuff makes me feel like The Anti-Christ, but these are very pertinent questions to me! In fact, I may copy this as a blog, and just see who has the answers… What say you?

 

_MG_2025

 

Miscellaneous Google Searches

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256?pg=1

  • Sometimes i just have these miscellaneous thoughts that aren’t really blogs in themselves.  The thought I had, referring to the URL above was: ‘Do I really need 8 eight ounce glasses of water per day?’  This lead me to The Mayo Clinic: probably thought I was a warped human, and was hinting at a desperate need for psychiatric help.  There are two pages of interesting facts about water consumption.

http://www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html

  • ‘does God really exist according to science?’  This is an important question, what with me being a bit of a science buff fanatic, as well as a compulsive liar.  Yes, free thinking can lead Google searches to curious places:  I figure, if I butter up Google, this blog may reach the top of their list: this is a bribe!

http://www.businessinsider.com/health-benefits-of-medical-marijuana-2014-4

  • ‘what are the health benefits of pot?’  Notice I didn’t say: ‘smoking pot.’  That’s because there are other ways pot may be ingested, sparing your lungs of harmful carcinogens.  OMG I have a brain!  Praise Jesus!  Although, this article does give: ‘Holy smoke!’ a whole new meaning.  I wonder if you remain high longer if you just stuffing it in your ears?  (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!)

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/life-expectancy.htm

  • ‘life expectancy stats’  I figure, if the end of the world were coming, life expectancy would read like : three months…  This brings me to my next logical question…

http://beforeitsnews.com/prophecy/2014/11/urgent-an-asteroid-will-hit-the-earth-on-september-24-2015-2465642.html

  • ‘is the world going to end on September 24th. 2015?’  I’ve heard rumors to that affect…  And that’s just what I think they are.  Why it’s getting to where the media is crying wolf so often, who knows what to believe?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/june-ericudorie/do-men-hate-women_b_5876880.html

  • ‘do men hate women?’  I’m always using the top Google finding mind you.  Interesting that it’s strictly from a woman’s point of view as well.  I wonder if I’ll get a man’s advice if I reverse genders?  These are all off the top of my head.  For experiments sake, I’m finding my questions to be more thought provoking as I go: ‘Kiss my ring!’  (Bathtub slime!  EEEWWWWW!!)

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121231123324AAQ0Kfh

  • ‘do women hate men?’  That’s interesting!  Some answers given by women!  And its a Yahoo question page!  I think I’m on a roll hear!  If my next question leads to a Google question page, Google most assuredly give me standing room only!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-hannah-grufferman/why-men-should-fear-women_b_1829997.html

  • ‘do men fear women?’  Hmmmm…  The Huffington Post again.  I’m beginning to feel like I’m in a rigged game here!  You know?

http://www.2knowmyself.com/why_do_many_women_fear_men

  • ‘do women fear men?’  I felt certain this question would have lead me to: ‘The Google Hall of Fame!’  I should quit while I’m behind…  Maybe if I ask Google something more all encompassing?  Something more secretive perhaps?  Will my computer bow up, and a swat team appear at head with scanning laser lights?  Or will Google rescue me with uhhh: a ham sandwich?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_Order_%28conspiracy_theory%29

  • ‘what is the new world order about?’  Well at least I made it Wikipedia…. They should at least send me an extra large pizza… I’m an extra large guy!  Let’s see now?  I’ll have double cheese, pepperoni, salami, bologna, a pound a walrus blubber, and make it snappy!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/environment/conservation/11130750/Life-on-earth-is-dying-thanks-to-one-species.html

  • ‘is the earth dying?’  Notice you don’t have to use capitals when you ask Google a question! (Pulls up pants, and lifts head up high, to show I mean business!)

http://www.josh.org/resources/study-research/answers-to-skeptics-questions/why-does-a-good-god-allow-evil-to-exist/

  • ‘is the world evil or good?’  I was just going to ask: ‘is the world evil?’  But Google offered this suggestion and I thought I’d take it because it’s more unbiased.  C’mon now Google!  I get brownie points for this one!

http://blogs.channel4.com/factcheck/factcheck-black-americans-commit-crime/19439

 

  • ‘do black Americans commit more crimes?’  I know whites think so…  Just wondering what truth there is to the claim? What if I rephrase the question once again to be non-biased?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_and_crime_in_the_United_States

  • ‘what ethnic group commits the most crimes in America?’ You don’t need question marks with Google search either.  I was only using them for effect…  (BS line #3,642)  Old hobbits are hard to break…

http://netforbeginners.about.com/od/internet101/ss/The-Best-Search-Engines-of-2015.htm#step2

  • ‘what is the best search engine’  I think I’ve just struck pay dirt! You can buy dirt?  If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you’ll find a link to Google!  Ha!  Pay up Suckers!  LOL!

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/dec/13/what-is-love-five-theories

  • ‘what is love’ Perhaps the most philosophical question ever asked by a lot of people who don’t know what the Hell the attraction is!  LOL!  Five theories are given.  Pick one!  Mine is that love was more prevalent within us when we were naive, and young at heart…  Times when you believed in true love, and your heart pounded so, you thought you were going to have a cardinal infarction whenever he/she was within spitting distance of one another.  When you get older, you wonder instead about your finances, hide food in the fridge!  See? you’ll always get a different answer, depending upon how you ask the question…  There’s some deep, hidden meaning in there somewhere.

A Stitch in Time

Oh that really bugs me!

Some sayings are so stupid, and meaningless!  For instance: ‘A stitch in time saves nine…’  Nine what?  chestnuts?  And you treat time like a garment of some mathematical kind!  And why do we need ten fingers?  Won’t one or two get you into enough trouble as it is?  Ga ahead, (New York for ‘Go ahead) hold your fingers up and wiggle all your fingers in front of you…  Don’t you get confused?  OK, I’m a little stoned.  Grrrrr!

Besides, I like saving time.  And when I tried to tell Leslie, she completely rejected the idea!  I told her how I never button or unbutton my shirts, but just treat them like pull-overs, and I save time that way.  She said it was a law to here to do up and undo her buttons, and that I should be ashamed of myself for rejecting a time-honored tradition, insisting the law is the law, and she can’t break it now…  Completely illogical, yet it seems normal to her.  So God DOES punish me!

Was it destiny, or just plain after-shock?

I suppose Leslie does have some kind of fruitless point, yet my concerns for her, are that if she can’t accept practical, yet simply innovative instructions, then I must conclude she is an illogical creature, while I continue to bang my head against a wall…  I now have access to my neighbour’s fridge!  LOL!  Those who cannot change will die!  OK, I admit I can’t stop eating Carmel pecan yogurt ice-cream.  But that’s different!  That’s a creamy and tasty way to go!

Multi-tasking is a good way to save a stitch in nature’s pink tu tu…  Whatever…  I can do the dishes, watch TV, and cut my finger off with a butcher knife!  OK, I’m slightly delusional…  Just yesterday I tried to open a tin of condensed pony milk, with a dull can-opener.  It didn’t quite do the job, so while I was trying to pull the lid off, it suddenly gave way, I cut my finger, and accidentally elbowed my fridge!  After that, as you can well imagine, I kicked the living cheeses out of my fridge while blood squirted everywhere: it looked just like a horrendous crime scene.  Now I had a sore foot to go along with my sore elbow and the minor problem that I was bleeding profusely.  My pinky really needed a couple of stitches, but I thought about all that bother faking death at the Hospital, just so they’ll take me first!  If not, perhaps 50 cents will persuade them!

So I poured some hydrogen peroxide over it, and wrapped in up in a roll of toilet paper, applying pressure until the bleeding stopped.  Then I wrapped like 10 band-aids over it.  Today, I’m all white, my heart has stopped beating, and I have this strange craving for blood, and to quickly find a coffin my size, that comes in burgundy, and must smell like men’s cologne!  I’m sure I’ve saved over 500 years, and I’m not even 63 ’til next month…  Hint:  I wanna Choo Choo train, a microscope and an all expenses paid trip The Caribbean.  I also want my Mummy!  I plan to model her in my livingroom.  Then I think shock treatments would save me some time.  Don’t you?  Sometimes I think I’m starving, and I can hardly close the refrigerator door…  OK, I’ll tell you about my home planet :O(

 

MG_2089.jpg

How to Stop Crime

Baltimore at Siege

_0005_Batimore_Riot_2

When you get older, you know what’s going to happen in the near future, just by observing present changes.  Baltimore’s Mayor knew, as did all of us, in advance, that this kind of gathering was going to spawn riots!  They should have organized the protest before it happened…  They should have confined it to open fields surrounded by guards, where no damage can be done, except to themselves, if they should so choose.

I can see the logic of these young people is to exact revenge, like they did in Ferguson, that got them to revise their Police Department.  However, in this case, we’re now talking city folk, whose usual approach involves retribution of some kind!  It will likely be the parents of these kids that will end up paying hefty fines!  And I think it rightfully so.  Here’s why…

The Base of the Problem

_0005_Batimore_Riot_3

Is it the parents that’s the base of the problem?  Not exactly, though they do participate.  If the law makes it illegal for you to administer capital punishment when necessary in public, how are parents able to raise their children to stay out of trouble?  And parents should be given courses on how to raise their children so they grow up with some rules and reasons that make sense to them!  This messed up world heading to suicide is not what they expected from you!

Take The Lord’s Prayer out of our school system for example, and you’re teaching our children that God and morals don’t matter!  A lot of people are having a change of heart about that question, and are experiencing a change of activity in ways to properly discipline their children.  I think laws should be changed, yes…  Also, pay scales are way below what they should be in all honesty.  If the best Tennis Player can make $77,000,000 why he’s still young in his Career, what about people who clean your house and office for you?  Is your insured health not worth more than what you give a Tennis player?  Do you think THAT might have something to do with why they vandalize your businesses?

Change The System

_0005_Batimore_Riot_1

It’s too bad more people aren’t on top of the political world, and monitoring their own communities more closely!  Perhaps then, they would clean up the Prostitutes from the streets, and give them jobs with similar pay!  Or is that not worth your little girl not getting the wrong idea about how to make a living?  You can’t blame these children for reacting to injustice the way that they do.  You made a heartless world for them to reside in, so what else can you expect from them?  The system needs to be changed, and that means being involved in your community, including community meetings…  Do you even know where they’re being held?

I would make protests only legal On LIne if it were me.  But hey!  Can’t have everything…  Remember that our children are our most precious commodity!  They are the future quite literally.  Help them to build a better world: spend some more time with them, teaching them the kind of things they won’t learn in school…  Like maybe that they would get a lot more freebies in life by showing kindness of their own, proving they don’t have to steal!  Earning respect from others might also build their confidence in themselves to perhaps shoot for loftier goals.  Give them a little direction and love maybe?  Maybe exchange video games for a little outdoor activity with the family?