A Stitch in Time

Oh that really bugs me!

Some sayings are so stupid, and meaningless!  For instance: ‘A stitch in time saves nine…’  Nine what?  chestnuts?  And you treat time like a garment of some mathematical kind!  And why do we need ten fingers?  Won’t one or two get you into enough trouble as it is?  Ga ahead, (New York for ‘Go ahead) hold your fingers up and wiggle all your fingers in front of you…  Don’t you get confused?  OK, I’m a little stoned.  Grrrrr!

Besides, I like saving time.  And when I tried to tell Leslie, she completely rejected the idea!  I told her how I never button or unbutton my shirts, but just treat them like pull-overs, and I save time that way.  She said it was a law to here to do up and undo her buttons, and that I should be ashamed of myself for rejecting a time-honored tradition, insisting the law is the law, and she can’t break it now…  Completely illogical, yet it seems normal to her.  So God DOES punish me!

Was it destiny, or just plain after-shock?

I suppose Leslie does have some kind of fruitless point, yet my concerns for her, are that if she can’t accept practical, yet simply innovative instructions, then I must conclude she is an illogical creature, while I continue to bang my head against a wall…  I now have access to my neighbour’s fridge!  LOL!  Those who cannot change will die!  OK, I admit I can’t stop eating Carmel pecan yogurt ice-cream.  But that’s different!  That’s a creamy and tasty way to go!

Multi-tasking is a good way to save a stitch in nature’s pink tu tu…  Whatever…  I can do the dishes, watch TV, and cut my finger off with a butcher knife!  OK, I’m slightly delusional…  Just yesterday I tried to open a tin of condensed pony milk, with a dull can-opener.  It didn’t quite do the job, so while I was trying to pull the lid off, it suddenly gave way, I cut my finger, and accidentally elbowed my fridge!  After that, as you can well imagine, I kicked the living cheeses out of my fridge while blood squirted everywhere: it looked just like a horrendous crime scene.  Now I had a sore foot to go along with my sore elbow and the minor problem that I was bleeding profusely.  My pinky really needed a couple of stitches, but I thought about all that bother faking death at the Hospital, just so they’ll take me first!  If not, perhaps 50 cents will persuade them!

So I poured some hydrogen peroxide over it, and wrapped in up in a roll of toilet paper, applying pressure until the bleeding stopped.  Then I wrapped like 10 band-aids over it.  Today, I’m all white, my heart has stopped beating, and I have this strange craving for blood, and to quickly find a coffin my size, that comes in burgundy, and must smell like men’s cologne!  I’m sure I’ve saved over 500 years, and I’m not even 63 ’til next month…  Hint:  I wanna Choo Choo train, a microscope and an all expenses paid trip The Caribbean.  I also want my Mummy!  I plan to model her in my livingroom.  Then I think shock treatments would save me some time.  Don’t you?  Sometimes I think I’m starving, and I can hardly close the refrigerator door…  OK, I’ll tell you about my home planet :O(



Just Wanted to Get This off My Chest


I once believed that The Law was there for our protection, and I’m certain that at one time or other, it was.  I was soon to discover however that laws aren’t really governed by The People, but rather, who happens to be in power at the time!  Laws can be overturned, dropped, or even completely banned for all time barring a civil war!  This came as a devastating shock to naïve, Minnie me!  Suddenly, my illusionary secure world became a little less secure, and most certainly smaller, and more vulnerable to many flaws within the fabric of our great justice system: Something we’re all supposed to depend on, and pay taxes to uphold!  What kind of monkey business IS THIS???

I was traumatized!

_an Anvil

 I just have to get this off my chest!  After them taking my license away for 3 full years now, considering I have no previous record, and I am not at fault here, but merely could not afford a Lawyer to prove that, and that even my appointed Lawyer was really working for the other side, my indignation over this event has been slowly building…

After all, when a man looses his driving privileges for life, this is no small event to him!  In fact, it’s like being sent to my room!  I tried to replace the event with something positive, like running to improve my health.  Yet whenever I run, I can’t help but keep thinking I could get there much faster with a car!  Let me just refresh you briefly on what happened:

  • I took a girl camping who thought I wanted sex…
  • I really just wanted her to romp through the forest and nibble on berries.
  • She told The Police to arrest me for an attempted rape I didn’t do.
  • I got in my car and tried to run away.
  • They caught up to my clunker on foot after I moved only five feet.
  • They said I was drunk, yet tested very low because it hadn’t had time to enter my system yet!
  • I told her that someday she may do this to the wrong person and be decapitated…
  • Apparently, The Law can’t distinguish between a threat, and a warning!
  • They threw the book at me…
  • The book hit me right in the forehead and now I have a goose egg!
  • A goose came in and asked me: ‘What gives you the right to hide my child?’

I’d just like to say in closing, that we are living in a Police State now, without any mercy or justice at all!  Prisons are NOT rehabilitation centers.  They’re cages where they keep the animals!  People there are bullied, beaten, and sexually abused!  This makes them nothing more than a breeding ground for Gays and Pedophiles…  When they’re released, they continue to prey upon our communities, only in a far worse way than they did before!

I have nothing against Gay rights.  The way I figure it, they can’t have children anyway, so they’ll eventually weed themselves out.  LOL!  Pedophiles however, prey upon our children!  This is something that The Government does, not us!  And all under the guise of: ‘To serve and protect!’  That’s what’s written on the side of our police cars.  What it should read is: ‘To swerve and reject!’  We should all fashion signs, go down to City Hall, and get arrested :O(  I’m  MADD!