Contrary to popular belief, grieving is a process in which we come to terms with a person we’ve lost, rather than a suffering of their absence. It is a process of forgiveness, not only for what transgressions against you are inflicted by a departed one, yet also for yourself, for not having forgiven them while they were alive. Certainly even those we love have transgressed against us in one form or other. No one is perfect by any means. Yet for those who have viciously or ignorantly hurt us so deeply, that it seems unfathomable for us to even consider forgiving them, this is the true challenge of real strength and character! In this article, I not only intend to state why we must forgive, but how important it is to approach God for proper instruction to go about doing so. It’s not easy, and requires much reflection and deep contemplation on the matter, both for their freedom, and your own…
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.
How Do We Fail To Forgive?
When I was young, I found it so easy to forgive others because my mind was fresh, and I was so willing to look behind the reasons why people acted the way that they did. Yet after being what seemed to be more and more senselessly beaten down by others, my heart grew cold and distant from them. And by doing so, I gave up the one thing that was most precious to my existence on this Earth: my curiosity towards people: how they think and feel, and why they do the things they do.
A lack of curiosity stems from us either being unwilling to learn and understand, or thinking we already know and understand enough. Unfortunately, most people reside at either end of these two extremes, when curiosity in fact lies someplace in between. It was this discovery that lead me to understand that we therefore forgive others out of fear and obligation, rather than from a true change of heart. This is a curious observation indeed because it explains why there’s so much war and hatred in this world. It’s because we haven’t learned how to forgive ourselves yet, let alone tackling how to forgive others…
To Forgive, We Must Also Forget…
After my brother died, I realized how much I still held against him in life: choosing to concentrate on his faults and shortcomings rather than understanding the circumstances behind them, and seeing his attempts to make an honest effort in this life. You can’t forgive without trust! And that’s a tall order when you feel as though someone violates that trust on a constant basis… So what do you do? You approach God with the problem…
Call it a hunch. Call me wrong! Call me irresponsible! Stop calling me names! OK? But the one question I knew I had to ask God was the one I feared most: ‘How can you forgive me, for not forgiving my brother?’ And His response (since I always ask for wisdom, love and insight in my prayers) was simple yet elegant: ‘Forgive your brother first! Then ask for forgiveness from me.’ So to forgive him, I had to first forgive myself for not forgiving him! One must heal one’s own self first before thinking on the matter clearly, and with an open heart…
Do You Know What You Know?
Do I know what I know? I must always ask myself that question to reawaken my own curiosity, and to understand the workings behind people better! This opens the door to more than people, but to everything… Recently for instance, the question: ‘What is an ion?’ has been plaguing me no end! LOL! People run a little deeper than ions though. In The Lord’s Prayer, what do we ask for? (I always get you with The Lords Prayer!) LOL! We ask: ‘Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…’ So is it others we want to forgive? Or do we really want to forgive ourselves for forgiving half heartedly out of fear of retribution, and some mechanical obligation? Something to think on! The key to real forgiveness lies in one word listed boldly in the picture above… Love…
Don’t Take Life So Seriously.
http://mentalhealthnews.org/new-insight-into-link-between-depression-and-physical-pain/84249/ Here’s a site that explains just how ‘out of proportion’ a depressed person can make of the world around him/her! Briefly, it’s about how our pain may be disproportionate to the amount of pain actually present! Being a Bi-Polar Depressoid myself, I can vouch that we blow all kinds of things out of proportion! Our fear of the unknown, our own incompetence in our ability to function as others do, or that someone might find out our helplessness in decision making. Someone could detect nervousness, sadness, and a myriad of ‘what if’s’ that stop us from acting upon motivation, and paralyze us, which no doubt is a lack of confidence triggered by a disproportionate scene of fear. That in turn, causes us to imagine unrealistically, all kinds of negative scenarios, which you yourself, are so certain are going to happen! Needless to say, the opposite could also be true! We don’t know the future.; We just expect things to go wrong, and so they do…
Why Am I Depressed?
http://www.theholisticlifestylecentre.com/why-am-i-depressed/ This site is called: ‘Holistic Health Practitioner’. Does it not make perfect sense to you, that if you do all the things necessary to make make a concerted effort to stop thinking of everything in terms of black and white, color might catch on; the world outside of you is in at least 56 million colors that I know of! Venture into this world, and explore it on your own terms! You will find many things to do of interest by sitting down and truly defining all of your interests, and start pursuing them!
Maybe the TV is getting you down. Perhaps its the crushing impact of a heartless, headless world full of misery, pollution and corruption? Whatever it is, the key to changing your mood is to get busy getting outside, with places to go ,and things to do! Failure is possible for anyone of us on any given day! It’s how we handle that ourselves that truly determines our next step! It is possible for you to persuade yourself, to simply move on to better things, and not dwell on failures, but seek, and expect success instead! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but success will find you! That is, happiness, joy, continued good feelings… This in itself, is true success by far!
To Fail or to Succeed?
The choice has always been yours!
What you imagine, is exactly what you will cause to happen! If you show that you are always negative, always doubtful, always looking toward the bad side of things, then you will truly attract those kinds of things and people! ‘Birds of a feather!’ It’s true… If on the other hand, you begin to believe in yourself, this will also be apparent to others, and attract more positive people and things. Simple? Practice it night and day! Always look for the good around you.
Practice thinking about how you can help others to achieve they’re goals, and you will not only learn how to come up with your own ideas and achieve them you will be of much greater inspiration to others! Set yourself to task, mindful always of correcting your way of thinking toward a cheer filled and constructive life! You may even learn to laugh at yourself, so no one else will take your failures so seriously either! Everybody fails… That’s how we all learn… If you truly want to be happy, think positively, surround yourself with positive people, learn to laugh at your own mistakes and you can not help but live a happy and successful life. Remember! Attitude is everything! Start out with a bad attitude, you may as well go back to bed!
Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself?
A: By attempting to develop new skills and improving upon old ones…
Q: What do I do, if I start to feel paranoid in public?
A: Ask yourself if it is real, or imagined. Ask yourself if your mood may have triggered it?
Q What do I do when I feel like I can’t breathe?
A: Put your head between your legs and take deep breaths… Don’t fart!
Q: How can I stop my heart from beating so fast?
A: Place both your wrists under cold water for 3 minutes… This will slow your heart rate back down to normal by cooling and there-by slowing the blood flow to and from the heart.
Q:Will I ever get well? That definitely depends upon how diligent you’re willing to become toward improving your physical health, mental attitude (the way you view yourself and how you fit in the world around you. If you just want to stay hidden in a corner brooding, you will only get more depressed.
Q: Will people think my condition is my fault?
A: If you keep using your depression as an excuse for everything that goes wrong for you? Yes!
Q: If I were to stop smoking cigarettes, and stopped drinking, stopped whining why things can’t always be perfect, start taking better care of my body, moods, and constantly make a conscious effort to replace bad thoughts with good ones, happy ones, will I improve? Yes! Immensely!
Q: Do other people see me the same way I see myself?
A: Nope! You’re a real screw-ball! Look at them? Do you see them as they really are? Society dictates they only reveal their good side, and in this way, wear masks that too often confuse us about others real motives! Try calling one a phony bologna, and watch how quickly they change!
Q: Why are things always so unexpected to me?
A: Because you’re not expecting them; you’re not anticipating what may be waiting for you before you get them. Remember when you used to run different scenarios through your mind and would try to think of a solution for each viable problem that may arise? Yes, well it’s called ‘thinking’, and I’d like you to start practice doing that again. Then when you arrive to where you’re going, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident to face any situation that may befall you; in this way, you free yourself up to now concentrate on why you went there in the first place, without a case of nerves, or, in the worst case scenario, complete, and total paralysis… Better you should be you…
So how is it you prefer to see yourself really?
As the sad young woman above, which pushes people from her?
Or as this attractive young lady, with the infectious laugh, who draws people toward her? The road to death? Or the road to life? Choose… And this time? Please choose wisely! ‘Help yourself to a little bit of what is all around you! Silly Girl! ‘ ( Martha- The Beatles. Curiously enough, this was a song Paul wrote about his dog.