Truisms are things that people say that tend to hold true throughout life for the vast majority of people. They are quite literally saying that we all follow. Seeing as how I still hold to my own invented Truism that everything is backwards, I take nothing for granted, and am therefore, as always, here to dispute various truisms in point form, staring with the more popular ones and working my way through some you may or may not have heard of before. Beside them, I will state how I feel they do NOT apply.
- Wrong! Most people prefer to be lied to and close their eyes to the truth…
- You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink – Sure you can! Just feed him a Mickey of Scotch and by the time you reach the watering hole, he’ll suck up the entire pond!
- Only the good die young – I really don’t think SIDS is preferential: nor any other fatal disease for that matter.
- What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger – Are you gonna tell me that Chicken Pox makes you stronger?
- Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it – Then why did you wish for it in the first place?
- A little knowledge can go a long way – No! A little knowledge can go a little way. A lot of knowledge can go a long way!
- A lot of professionals are crackpots – You are either a professional or a crackpot but can’t be both and make it work. When was the last time you saw a professional with a diploma on his wall that said: ‘This professional is a certified crackpot.’?
- A man can’t know what it is to be a mother – He can if the mother dies…
- A positive attitude makes all the difference in the world – The world tries to stop you, positive attitude or not!
- A sense of timing is the mark of genius – Unless you’re a madman, then it’s the mark of a madman…
- Action causes more trouble than thought – Brilliant grasp of the obvious here. But without thought, there would be no action.
- All things are delicately interconnected – Like Husbands and Mother-In-Laws?
- Anger or hate can be a useful motivating force – For blowing up cities and creating hate groups?
- Animalism is perfectly healthy – As long if it’s alright with your neighbor to piss on his tree.
- Any surplus is immoral – A surplus of morality is immoral?
- Anything is a legitimate area of investigation – Well that shoots privacy all to Hell!
- At times, inactivity is preferable to mindless functioning – I thought inactivity was tantamount to mindless functioning!
- Awful punishment awaits really bad people – Awful punishment awaits really good people too…
- Being happy is more important than anything else – except breathing…
- Being alone with yourself is increasingly unpopular – Well if you’re alone with yourself, you’re not really alone… You’re schizophrenic!
- Being sure of yourself means you’re a fool – Oh? I thought it meant you were confident. Conversely then, not knowing what you’re doing means you’re a genius?
- Change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants – I told you torturing insects and rodents was the right thing to do!
- Chasing the new is dangerous to society – So is closed mindedness!
- Children are the most cruel of all – Children are the hope of the future…
- Confusing yourself is a way to stay honest – It’s also a way to get yourself killed!
- What a crock of BS (Bad Smell)! Creativity comes from within… The trouble with thinkers is, they think too much!
The Pointless Forest
A Story of Racial Prejudice
Oblio (pronounced: Oh-blee-oh), was a little boy who owned a very special little dog whom he named: ‘Arrow’. They lived in a tiny Village almost invisible to the naked eye called: ‘Pointsville’… Although Oblio and his dog Arrow looked very different from one another, neither could tell each other apart, and so they loved each other very much! So where ever Oblio went, so did his Arrow! Together, they were always very happy, but there was a problem.
Unfortunately, Oblio had a round head, and all the rest of the towns people had pointed heads! This difference began to make the towns people talk among themselves, unannounced to Oblio, and his dog, Arrow. They began to say things like: ‘It’s not fair! We all have pointed heads, and Oblio has a round head, so what’s his point?’ And: ‘Have you all noticed that his dog Arrow doesn’t like us? So just maybe… Just maybe Oblio doesn’t like us either!’
It wasn’t long before the towns folk with the pointed heads could see a difference between them and Oblio! So their hatred grew and grew, until they all got together, and determined they should have a meeting at the towns Pointy Hall, and decide what to do with Oblio and his little dog, Arrow: ‘This simply cannot be!’ said the one with the biggest point: ‘He and his dog are always happy together, and we all know it’s by far much better to hate one another, and remain separate! We must do something quickly, before we all become like him and his dog!’
The Big Decision
So they all decided unanimously, to vanquish poor Oblio and his little dog Arrow to: ‘The Pointless Forest’ where a point could never be made! The one with the biggest point spoke for them because the rest were all very afraid of Oblio and his little dog that could see no difference between them the way that they could! Keeping his distance, The one with the biggest point shouted to Oblio: ‘You have no point, so all of the towns people have decided that you and your little dog Arrow are hereby vanquished to The Pointless Forest, where a point can never be made, and to never return again!!’
So off they went, and even though Oblio was broken hearted, and there was now a difference between them, Arrow remained right by Oblio’s side! And wherever Oblio would go, Arrow would follow! Oblio was so unhappy now, because he couldn’t see why his round head should make such a big difference! After all, Arrow didn’t have a round head either, but he still loved him! So there they both sat amongst the pointy trees of The Pointless Forest.
Weeks went by, which turned into months, without Oblio knowing just what to do. Still, Arrow would wag his tail and bark (woof!) in hopes that Oblio would snap out of it! But Oblio was simply too sad. So Arrow wandered off for a bit, to find his favorite tree, and allow Obleo some more time to think…
And then while looking at the pointy tops of all the trees, an idea finally came to him! He would climb a tree, take the point off the top, and place it on his head, go back and show the towns people of Pointsville that he does indeed now have a point! So he rounded up Arrow, and off they went to confront the towns folk!
A Change of Heart
Meanwhile, back in town, the towns folk all began to miss Oblio and Arrow because they were always so happy together, even though they were both so very different! ‘There must be something to this!’, they all said at the same time. So off they all went, to The Pointy Hall, and decided unanimously, upon a drastic action that just might work. They all decided to file the points off their heads until they became round. And so they did, even though it was very painful!
So right when they reached the edge of town, there stood Oblio and Arrow wearing their pointy tree hats, in disbelief of all the rounded heads that they saw! The towns folk all smiled that Oblio had gone to so much trouble to become like them, they all grew even happier, and ran to greet Oblio and his little dog that couldn’t see a difference, knocking off their pointed tree hats in the process, and suddenly, like magic, they all realized they were all the very same!