How to Manage Depression without Drugs…

Indisputable Evidence

http://www.lef.org/Magazine/2014/6/A-New-Way-To-Manage-Depression-Without-Drugs/Page-01  It’s kind of scary to know that 1 in 10 Americans suffer from depression.  What’s even scarier is the big list of 119 reported side effects from conventional medicine’s approach to the disease.  When you read through it, you immediately feel that a depression pill is the last thing you want to take.  Be sure and take a close look at his eye opening article. 

Before this, I was reading an article about how the medical community in general is actually dead set against doing anything to improve or change the slow, methodical way they’re killing us, rather than saving lives which they are sworn to do.  Here, below the picture, is an excerpt from this page containing the URL listed below…

Prozac_pills

Assembly Line Medicine

‘Cancer patients are being deprived of lifesaving therapies by oppressive bureaucracy, physician apathy, insurance company denials, and inflated medical costs. Find out how cancer victims can circumvent today’s backwards oncology system to improve their odds of long-term survival.’

Remember how I’ve always been telling you that everything is backwards?  What say you now?  <Insert Crickets> Here is the URL for that article:  

http://www.lef.org/Magazine/2014/10/Assembly-Line-Medicine/Page-01

Though the above site discusses ineffective and risky Cancer treatments, it still focuses on how and why Physicians are causing more harm than help; how backward the entire medical community is concerning all things medicine, and not just depression!  This is precisely why I’ve been researching natural cures rather than chemical masks that only result in a worsening of your condition.  Have you not noticed that you weren’t as sick before you started going to a Doctor?  The above picture, is that of Prozac pills...  What do I keep telling you about this new, modern world of ours?  ‘Backwards’… 

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God Spoke to Me in a Dream!

A Sack Full of Ruffled Feathers…

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Just two days ago, I was having one of the best days of my life!  After a long, patient and sustained effort, I had managed to quit smoking, drinking, and pot.  Not all at once, because that can kill you I hear; too much for your body too handle all at once, so I did it all over the period of a year.

I was quite proud of myself for such a major achievement, gloating over how I only have to take 20 mg. of Paxil a day for my Depression, I had weened myself down to from 60 mg. a day because it’s a dirty drug really.  I also take stomach pills for a duodenal ulcer I got from a hit to the stomach from a Black Belt Karate expert when I was 19, for beating him in an arm-wrestle in front of his girl friend…  Well not everything is always pleasant ya know!  The Duodenum and the Stomach sound mutually exclusive but the pills work anyway.

Anyway, I was so so tickled pink because the terrible, nasty, Curmudgeon in me completely disappeared and I suddenly became amiable and strongly sensed a brand new disposition I didn’t entirely expect at all!  I just felt so good; as though someone had lifted me out of my despair, and suddenly sunshine had come flooding in!  Sunshine flooding?  LOL!  You might take this for granted, yet to me, it was like being brought out of my Coma, and back among the living again! Happiness had come calling, and Babies: ‘Oh what a feeling!’

The Party’s Over!

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Then around 10 pm. the same day, after making it well known to my insignificant other that I was really, really, really enjoying the movie, two minutes before the ending she did that maddening thing that so many women like to do…  She called me into the bedroom saying she couldn’t pull the blind down.

So instead of saying: ‘Just give me a moment while this movie ends!’ her having ran me all around Hell’s half acre (Actually Hell must have purchased a whole Football Field by now), exhausting me completely, after a full work out, yet still with a stupid grin on face, going here and there, to and fro, and you know fros are hard to come by, I dashed back out, only to discover I had missed the ending over something my insignificant other could have easily done herself.

I sat back down in my ‘Give me a big hug’ chair like a sack of rotten potatoes!  The happiness suddenly went <POOF!!!>, not surprising because it was still brand new, and therefore delicate.  And all the madness, steaming,fiery hatred, fear, sadness and hopelessness came dancing back in like it was it’s rightful place to begin with!  Everything good, all I’ve been working toward for 5 years, all ripped away in but one frustrating moment :O(

I Couldn’t Sleep!

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All I could do was sit there and fume ’till about 5:30 am. when I finally nodded off…  I was still happy, only with a very evil intent!  I had told Leslie nothing about it.  In fact, I wouldn’t speak to her at all and that drove her to tears because she knew this meant I was really going to kick her out this time (number 462)…

A Visitation with a Lesson in Forgiveness…

I began to dream of the very intent I had for Leslie, placed on me!  I dreamed that I had been kicked out of my home and was wandering the streets in a constant panic, wondering what I was going to be able to do about it at my advanced age and condition; just like Leslie’s advanced age and condition!  Dazed and confused…

My evil intent had been fully turned on me, with all of its detrimental implications!  And what’s creepy was, I felt God’s presences watching over me to make completely certain I could see what I was planning to do was wrong!  I could not see Him at all, yet most certainly felt his presence and wisdom of the lesson He was teaching me exactly what I needed to know!

My being a former Minister who dared not do so anymore, because I was smoking cigarettes, dooby, and drinking, and was therefore unfit, and unqualified to embark upon what I love most!  <experiencing tears that would never come before happiness did!>  That is, to competently administer God’s word to you, for real, live giving results :O(  I could NOT do this because God has his worst punishment reserved in store for false Prophets, and today, the world is full of them…

Besides, we are all within The Great Tribulation right now, and the time for prophesying, is over!  There’s no new stuff to add until God cleans up our mess and brings out His new book of but more rules and regulations.  LOL!  All I can really do now, is sight real situations you’re going through and couple it with the appropriate biblical text…

He Did It in just Five Hours!

jesus_070

In five hours, I awoke astounded at what had just happened!  Here I had experienced the best and the worst day of my life, both at the same time!  And then a small miracle happened!  I went into our bedroom to forgive Leslie, only to find that she had already forgiven me!  Saying: ‘I love you!  And you love me!  Stop this silliness, and for God’s sake, speak to me!’  For God’s sake?

I immediately fell into her arms, uncontrollably expelling at least a bucket full of tears!  OK…  Maybe a slight exaggeration… A whine glass then…  At this, the happiness I’d fleetingly felt and lost, came back :O)

A Minister cannot minister unless he is given direct permission from God!  He took this fragile broken glass of me, and glued it all back together again for a reason…  Don’t you think?  Blessed be our Savior the Christ, for He is The Master in charge, of all things good and right!  He speaks to God on our behalf, and I do believe He just said something!  This is my Testimonial to you.  Sheesh!  Nothing like hurrying me up about it!  My best guess is, he has seen I am finally willing to look after myself and respect the virtues He has given me.

PQQ

It really gives you a Buzz!

Hi friends…  Are you smoking more pot but enjoying it less?  Have all your brain cells said: ‘That’s OK, we’re constantly stoned anyway…’  Do you feel like there’s a hole in your pocket the size of Northern Albuquerque?  Well, what you need are more vigorously receptive brain cells!  I give you PQQ, along with everybody else who reads this, but you’re still special!  OK?  Take one capsule of these babies, and your brain will light up like a Crismiss tree!  You will notice right away, that your brain cells are getting more oxygen; It’s because 10 mg. (1 capsule) of PQQ twice daily, couped with one 200 mg. capsule of co- efficient Q-10 twice daily (Cuz they don’t sell 300 mg. bottles of the stuff), release people who suffer from Depression especially, to think clearly, remember everything, plan ahead, take action, invent, make spontaneous decisions, feel happy and confident, just like the old you!

That’s not all it does…

Or perhaps you’d prefer to just have your Doctor put a band-aid on it?  Instead of turning me into a thoughtless zombie, this PQQ stuff actually revitalizes your brain so you can think again!  Now I’d call that a cure for depression.  Wouldn’t you?  All kinds of inventive ideas come up to solve problems now as well!  It also prevents the onset of Old-Timers Disease, Parkinson’s, Delirium, and basically any age related disease!

Here’s how.

http://www.roex.com/product/pqq-explained   If for some reason, no doubt prevalent around computers everywhere, you can’t click the address, just highlight it choose: ctrl c on your keyboard, select and delete what’s in your browser’s address bar.  Then, selecting the address bar, press ctrl v and hit your enter key…

 

And here is an except about how PQQ effects depression:  

Oxidative Stress and Mitochondrial Dysfunction

Brain tissue is particularly susceptible to oxidative damage due to its high concentrations of phospholipids and the exhaustive metabolic rate among neurons. A growing body of research suggests that oxidative stress contributes to depression and other brain-related disorders (Hovatta 2010). This is thought to result from either an increase in damaging reactive oxygen species, a decrease in antioxidant defense mechanisms, or a combination of the two. These mechanisms become especially important with advancing age (Wolkowitz 2011).

Newer research sheds light on the critical role of mitochondria and neurotransmission and mood regulation. Mitochondria are the “powerhouses” in each cell that generate energy. In an intriguing study, researchers measured the content of mitochondrial DNA within white blood cells in aging patients who were depressed, and in an age-matched group who were not depressed. The subjects with depression had significantly fewer mitochondria than non-depressed controls, leading researchers to suggest, “mitochondrial dysfunction could be a mechanism of geriatric depression” (Kim 2011). In a similar study, greater numbers of mitochondria in peripheral cells were associated with improved cognitive function in healthy elderly women (Lee 2010).

Preliminary research suggests that two nutrients, coenzyme Q10 and acetyl-L-carnitine, which support mitochondrial function, may influence depression. A small study of 35 depressed patients in comparison to 22 healthy volunteer controls showed that plasma CoQ10 levels were significantly lower in the depressed patients. Levels were also lower in treatment-resistant patients, as well as those with chronic fatigue (Maes, 2009).

Several studies of geriatric depression have investigated acetyl-L-carnitine (Pettigrew 2000). One study compared treatment with acetyl-L-carnitine to the medication amisulpride, an antipsychotic medication commonly used to treat depression. In 204 patients with chronic depression, both acetyl-L-carnitine and the pharmaceutical drug improved symptoms (Zanardi, 2006). Acetyl-L-carnitine also has been found to relieve depression and improve quality of life in patients with liver disease (Malaguarnera 2011), and to ease depressive symptoms significantly in patients with fibromyalgia (Rossini 2007).

Another nutrient, pyrroloquinoline quinine (PQQ), is an enzyme involved in the generation of new mitochondria and the maintenance of antioxidant defense systems (Chowanadisai 2010; Rucker 2009; Tachaparian 2010). Supplemental PQQ has been shown to increase mitochondrial activity levels and to be neuroprotective in animal models (Bauerly 2011; zhang 2006; Zhang 2009). Since fewer mitochondria have been observed in depressed patients (Kim 2011), PQQ may be supportive in this population.

To encapsulate…

Let’s just put it this way; Vitamin C triggers 4 enzymes in your body.  PQQ triggers 20,000!  For the low, low price of just $60 a month, Canadians can now get both of these nutrients that work in co-operation with each other. You can find co-Q-10 in the regular vitamin Isle, at Zehrs ( 200 mg. tablets).  The PQQ, you will find in the ‘health products’ section, usually beside their Pharmacy.  The surprising thing is, the younger you start taking this stuff, the longer you will live.  No!  Not just because you’re younger!  Larger doses of PQQ extend out from the brain and restores nerve damage!  I’ve been waiting for a long time for this stuff to hit Canada! 

Disclaimer:

Please contact your General Practitioner to make certain your medication does not conflict with PQQ or it’s co-efficient: Q-10;  for instance, statins or blood thinners may result in certain side effects… 

01500-PQQ-Caps-with-BioPQQ

 

 

How to Defeat Depression!

Don’t Take Life So Seriously.

http://mentalhealthnews.org/new-insight-into-link-between-depression-and-physical-pain/84249/  Here’s a site that explains just how ‘out of proportion’ a depressed person can make of the world around him/her!  Briefly, it’s about how our pain may be disproportionate to the amount of pain actually present!   Being a Bi-Polar Depressoid myself, I can vouch that we blow all kinds of things out of proportion!  Our fear of the unknown, our own incompetence in our ability to function as others do, or that someone might find out our helplessness in decision making.  Someone could detect nervousness, sadness, and a myriad of ‘what if’s’ that stop us from acting upon motivation, and paralyze us, which no doubt is a lack of confidence triggered by a disproportionate scene of fear.  That in turn, causes us to imagine unrealistically, all kinds of negative scenarios, which you yourself, are so certain are going to happen!  Needless to say, the opposite could also be true!  We don’t know the future.; We just expect things to go wrong, and so they do…

Why Am I Depressed?

Why-Am-I-Depressed

http://www.theholisticlifestylecentre.com/why-am-i-depressed/  This site is called:  ‘Holistic Health Practitioner’.  Does it not make perfect sense to you, that if you do all the things necessary to make make a concerted effort to stop thinking of everything in terms of black and white, color might catch on; the world outside of you is in at least 56 million colors that I know of!  Venture into this world,  and explore it on your own terms!  You will find many things to do of interest by sitting down and truly defining all of your interests,  and start pursuing them! 

Maybe the TV is getting you down.  Perhaps its the crushing impact of a heartless, headless world full of misery, pollution and corruption?  Whatever it is,  the key to changing your mood is to get busy getting outside,  with places to go ,and things to do!  Failure is possible for anyone of us on any given day!   It’s how we handle that ourselves that truly determines our next step!  It is possible for you to persuade yourself, to simply move on to better things, and not dwell on failures, but seek, and expect success instead!    Maybe not today or tomorrow, but  success will find you!  That is, happiness, joy, continued good feelings…  This in itself, is true success by far!

 

To Fail or to Succeed?

The choice has always been yours!

What you imagine, is exactly what you will cause to happen!  If you show that you are always negative, always doubtful, always looking toward the bad side of things, then you will truly attract those kinds of things and people!  ‘Birds of a feather!’  It’s true…  If on the other hand, you begin to believe in yourself, this will also be apparent to others, and attract more positive people and things.  Simple?  Practice it night and day!  Always look for the good around you.

Practice thinking about how you can help others to achieve they’re goals, and you will not only learn how to come up with your own ideas and achieve them you will be of much greater inspiration to others!  Set yourself to task, mindful always of correcting your way of thinking toward a cheer filled and constructive life!  You may even learn to laugh at yourself, so no one else will take your failures so seriously either!  Everybody fails…  That’s how we all learn…  If you truly want to be happy, think positively, surround yourself with positive people, learn to laugh at your own mistakes and you can not help but live a happy and successful life.  Remember!  Attitude is everything!  Start out with a bad attitude, you may as well go back to bed! 

Question Period:

Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself?

A:  By attempting to develop new skills and improving upon old ones…

Q: What do I do, if I start to feel paranoid in public?

A:  Ask yourself if it is real, or imagined.  Ask yourself if your mood may have triggered it?

Q What do I do when I feel like I can’t breathe?

A: Put your head between your legs and take deep breaths…  Don’t fart!

Q:  How can I stop my heart from beating so fast?

A:  Place both your wrists under cold water for 3 minutes…  This will slow your heart rate back down to normal by cooling and there-by slowing the blood flow to and from the heart.

Q:Will I ever get well?  That definitely depends upon how diligent you’re willing to become toward improving your physical health, mental attitude (the way you view yourself and how you fit in the world around you.  If you just want to stay hidden in a corner brooding, you will only get more depressed.

Q:  Will people think my condition is my fault?

A:  If you keep using your depression as an excuse for everything that goes wrong for you?  Yes!

Q:  If I were to stop smoking cigarettes, and stopped drinking, stopped whining why things can’t always be perfect, start taking better care of my body, moods, and constantly make a conscious effort to replace bad thoughts with good ones, happy ones, will I improve?  Yes!  Immensely!

Q: Do other people see me the same way I see myself?

A:  Nope!  You’re a real screw-ball!  Look at them?  Do you see them as they really are?  Society dictates they only reveal their good side, and in this way, wear masks that too often confuse us about others real motives!  Try calling one a phony bologna, and watch how quickly they change!

Q:  Why are things always so unexpected to me?

A:  Because you’re not expecting them; you’re not anticipating what may be waiting for you before you get them.  Remember when you used to run different scenarios through your mind and would try to think of a solution for each viable problem that may arise?  Yes, well it’s called ‘thinking’, and I’d like you to start practice doing that again.  Then when you arrive to where you’re going, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident to face any situation that may befall you; in this way, you free yourself up to now concentrate on why you went there in the first place, without a case of nerves, or, in the worst case scenario, complete, and total paralysis…   Better you should be you…

 

So how is it you prefer to see yourself really?

As the sad young woman above, which pushes people from her?

BFWRDJ

Or as this attractive young lady, with the infectious laugh, who draws people toward her?  The road to death?  Or the road to life?  Choose…  And this time?  Please choose wisely!    ‘Help yourself to a little bit of what is all around you!  Silly Girl! ‘  ( Martha- The Beatles.  Curiously enough, this was a song Paul  wrote about his dog.

Wards-back

Hi Folks

As I’m sure you’ve gathered, ‘Words-back, is just Backwards Backwards.  Time, in my view, has no present or future; only the past repeated over and over again, each time improving it’s stature. There’s no present because it is transitory.  Time does not stand still to my knowledge.  And the future is yet to be, which is also transitory because that’s anyone’s guess.  Besides that, time is a concept.  You don’t suppose aliens wear watches do you?

We’re even backwards about Aliens!  We think they’re going to find our submicroscopic, rather plain, small, and insignificant star?  Meanwhile, us Hominids are the ones developing plasma for deep space travel, to find and colonize habitable planets.  Doesn’t that make US the aliens? See? Backwards!  Did you know that in Australia, the water circles do the drain backwards?  BUT IT LOOKS FORWARDS TO THEM!

Depression Sucks

Finding your way out of the darkness:

In my case, I have lapses in time called Dementia and then fall into a non-responsive state; that’s when I loose all motivation entirely and enter my own world.  It’s like I suddenly have to go out after a rain, and cut a worm in half to see if they go their own separate ways, or hang out together?

The good news is, the times that I am actually willing to be here with you, are longer. This is my pathetic attempt at trying to instill hope within you, that an actual person resides within me.  He’s just changed so much I’m afraid he’s gonna take my wallet!  And you can’t run away because: ‘Wherever you go, there you are!’

Things are changing my mood for the better

  • Large and Larger are leaving Thursday.  Good!  So now I can fix all the plumbing and buy a new air conditioner ‘The Tele-tubies’ burnt it out by running it day and night cuz their room with a window is too hot…  Then in the winter, her was too cold so him had to have the furnace on all the time, which blows right over man head where I sleep…  My head’s shrunk two sizes already.  I’ll soon be ready to shrink-wrap!
  • I got all of my teeth fixed and got my smile back (If I ever use it)…  Meanwhile, The Dentist and his demure assistant were arguing about whether the air conditioner was on or not.  I don’t know why one of them didn’t just check…  And I can’t say a word because I have a tube hooked on one side of my mouth for suction, and the Assistant was watering me with another tube, I had to big wads of cotton that protruded my upper lip to look more monkey like, and all I could do was grunt anyway…  Not that it mattered…
  • I’ve stepped up the intensity of my work-outs even more and increased my consumption of Omega 3, and it seams to have worked…  Now I can remember my name…  Uh,  just the first one.  It’s Spartacus.  Still, my friends look at me weird!
  • Spousal tolerance came from her own lips: ‘Never sweat the small stuff!’  However, a lot of small stuff can accumulate into one long, and continuous annoyance!  I still cope better though now.  Wanna know why?  It’s because, if one tries hard enough, they can convince themselves of anything; that, coupled with a lot of love and understanding has paved the way for me.  She’s in constant pain now, and won’t be long for this Earth, (She wants to be cremated!)  All I can do, is try to make her as comfortable as possible.

_MG_1994

 

Turn That Crap Down!

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A 47-year-old software developer was convicted Saturday of attempted murder for shooting into a car-full of teenagers after an argument over what he called their “thug music,” but jurors couldn’t agree on the most serious charge of first-degree murder.

This is way too extreme!

    Have you ever heard loud music coming from a car, that might be rap or might be supremacy music, or hate music with swearing in it, or even just obnoxiously loud, and got peeved off at it?  Me too…  However, never would my angst be so furious, as to actually take a gun and shoot dead, a 19 year old boy sitting in the car!  In fact, I don’t pay too much never mind to it; they usually drive away, or I turn my music up and have a fun music war.  It’s not such a big deal!  We all pretty much did the same thing at that age.  Right?

In my day (about 3 eons ago), our parents would just yell out: ‘TURN THAT CRAP DOWN!’  I would say to myself: [What’s wrong with Beatles music, and just put ear phones on.]  I even went so far as to get a Beatles hair cut, wore Beatles boots, and bought a Naru jacket.  People got peeved at me about that too, and would scream out: ‘FAGGET!’ or ‘GET A JOB!’ or ‘REPENT AND FIND JESUS!’  Well, I had a job after school, shinning shoes in front of a local watering hole.  Jesus was nowhere to be found, and I wasn’t gay at all.  As a matter of fact, my get up, along with my song writing talent, and voice attracted the girls like flies!  So none of what they thought was true…

He did get four counts of second degree murder however, and each carries a sentence between 15 and 30 years!  I am shocked to the core, and I’m sure it hits home with you as well!  Our children are our most precious commodity!  And I know what it feels like to grieve over the loss of them.  That’s what caused my Depression to greatly escalate!  And I’m certain you haven’t met a single teen that wasn’t seeking out their own identity.  What is this world coming too?  Are we really becoming this intolerant?  Sad!  Sad and pathetic!  Read the entire story here:

 http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2014/02/15/split_verdict_in_florida_loud_music_murder_trial.html   And then if you like, scream out to your teen: ‘TURN THAT CRAP DOWN!’  LOL!  But certainly no more that this…  I wonder if it was Depression that drove him to it?  See why I sometimes think outside of the box, and actually seek unconventional ways to understand my illness, and keep it under control, using things like discipline and insight, instead of just masking the symptoms with ‘Happy Pills’?

Michael Dunn

How to cope…

Depression is a Liar!

It’s really just me feeling sorry for myself; for what made me waste away at first, and then turned into an absolute rage I couldn’t get myself out of.  In a word, I went nuts!  So I blame society or my friends, or I blame it on my fridge and kick the living cheeses out of it!  Whenever something doesn’t go just the way I want it, I go into one of my moods which can last for weeks!  It’s time I grew up some more, and stop feeling like a refugee!

I just thought that pertinent for those of us that suffer from depression.  I hear it’s a whopping 22 % of the entire populous of Canada now!  Aren’t weaon unhappy group of Snagglpusses!  That’s right.  We shouldn’t take life so seriously.  You know?  That’s not me; it’s the hideous, beast inside me!

MacGyver’s for practical dilemmas…

a-God_Concept

You were made for God!  The Bible dosen’t just give us a treasure trove of practice advice that still applies to this day.  God wants to be our companion!  He wants to help protect us, and guide us through this life  Isn’t that enough?  Just imagine the wonderful magic, personally knowing a being a thousand times more intelligent than ourselves, and equally as forgiving, and what He could do for you!  Today, we will explore: ‘ The Full Armour of God’.  When you equip yourself in this way, you become invincible to the things on this rock that can hurt you!

Ephesians: 6: 11-17

11  Put on the complete suit of armour+from God so that you may be able to stand firm against the crafty acts* of the Devil; 12  because we have a struggle,*+ not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces+ in the heavenly places. 13  For this reason take up the complete suit of armour from God,+ so that you may be able to resist in the wicked day and, after you have accomplished everything, to stand firm.14  Stand firm, therefore, with the belt of truth fastened around your waist,+ wearing the breastplate of righteousness,+ 15  and having your feet shod in readiness to declare the good news of peace.+ 16  Besides all of this, take up the large shield of faith,+with which you will be able to extinguish all the wicked one’s burning arrows.*+ 17  Also, accept the helmet of salvation,+and the sword of the spirit, that is, God’s word.

  • If you live in Canada and suddenly find yourself going a little hay-wired, you can always call: 310-cope.  They are great for just giving a listening ear and offering solutions to your problems.
  • Oh, your can opener just broke and there’s 9 feet of snow out-side!  No need to squish the tin ‘til it bursts, and bathes you in condensed pony milk!  Until you can get another one, just use a sharp steak knife, poke holes on both sides of the tin, and pour out the content, straight from the tin.
  • Your kettle just pooped out it’s last ‘pop’.  Resist the urge to pour lighter fluid in, and lite a match!  What’s wrong with using The Microwave?  It makes a faster cup of tea/coffee.  Never squeeze your bag!  It lets all the bitterness into you tea!
  • You can’t find your nail file, and want to cut your nails…  No need to scratch your eyes out!  Scissors do the job if you know your angles.
  • The children are driving you nuts, the phone keeps ringing, the dog keeps barking for some reason you can’t quit figure out. And a neighbor wants to borrow some sugar.  No need to shoot the phone, strangle your neighbor, muzzle the dog. Bind the children to chairs…  Stop stabbing your pillows; grab the keys to the car, sneak out the back door, and go see a movie…By the time you get back, everything will be in order again, and if the film was worth it, you’ll have something pleasant to talk about.
  • A pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses,(they always travel in packs), is knocking at your door!  What should you do?  Take off all of your clothes, and open the door widely, with a big, grin on your face!  They wont bother you again…
  • A bill collector is calling!  No need to brown the phone in the bath tub, and suffer a community black out!  Answer the phone in an accent, and tell them you moved away…
  • Don’t some special favors for your friends…  You need them…
  • Your vacuum cleaner died!  Stop sucking on the hose…  This will do you no good!  Make a fist, now go to your neighbor and promise to return it clean!
  • You’ve just been arrested!  Change you Meds…