How to Really Be Someone!


Ever feel out-of-place?  Ever feel unloved or rejected, just because you don’t fit the mold others are prepared to see you in?  Is it in fact a curse to be different?  Are you really: ‘Out there!’ with your ideas, appearance, and actions?  Well Thank God (Howard in Heaven…  Howard be thy name!), that YOU are NOT alone!  WEIRDO!  LOL!  Hey!  Underneath, we’re all naked!

Take heart!  The world doesn’t want to see: ‘The real you’, it wants to see the image it conjours of you: ‘How one ‘should’ appropriately conduct themselves within the confines of social acceptance.  Going by your own rules is a no-no!  So how do you be you, if the social norm puts restrictions on just who ‘you’ should be: as a neighbor, parent, worker, friend?

The fact is, the decision has always been yours…  There are rewards and sacrifices no matter what you choose.  The trick is to weigh out each situation correctly.  Yes, saying exactly what you think, isn’t always what people always want to hear.  Though they would respect and trust you more than someone who hides what they’re thinking, or wears a mask.  Don’t trust anyone with a white horse, who says his name is Zorro!

There’s an up side to being a nobody too.  People only kill who they love…  But if you’re a nobody, please keep in mind that it’s not likely people will even know you’re in the same room with them!  And feather more, risks can be taken responsibly, if all angles of approach are appropriately considered within reason.  Don’t go playing the Hero, and go running in to douse an A-Bomb with a glass of water!  Let’s consider your options…

Being a Professional

_0007_A Clown

If you choose to be a Jerk for money, then you will always be recognized as a Jerk and can NOT suddenly change-up and be recognized as Collage Professor material from there.  Once a Jerk, always a Jerk.  That’s your label from now on, and it can’t be changed.  Congratulations!  You have become stereotyped!  <Stamping ‘WAR’ on your forehead!>

This is one way I believe The System is flawed…  I foresee a future in which many people will turn to computers so they can fit many personas into their lives and develop more well-rounded characters: lead more interesting lives than this stupid ‘sameness’ thing we all get so caught up in.  Is it more safe for you?  IT’S BORING!!

So What Is The Answer?


Become a wandering Vagabond!  Seriously, if Christ said give all your possessions over to the poor (Me!), and follow me, Him, then why aren’t you doing that?  Why are you still part of this world?  Why not explore the world and see how it’s part of you?  Haven’t got the money?  I went 3000 miles on 47 cents and a package of cheese slices!  I learned more on that journey than I ever could have at any factory, institution, or administrative job.  For one thing, I learned that you don’t have to make money to enjoy life: one can still earn their way through service, and still find time to explore!

Though nobody wants you to be, it’s important you be an outcast and a unicorn!  Let others teach you what they know, rather than shoot your mouth off.  It makes them think you like them…  This way you can gain introspective into yourself, because we all carry similar thoughts, sensations, impressions etc.. 

After I do things, I like to imagine I was staring down at myself the entire time, observing my own gestures and actions.  I know one thing: when I dream, I’m more often the observer than the participant.  To me, this denotes that I’m sometimes afraid to take a chance…  The pertinent question is: am I brave enough, informed enough, wise enough, humble enough, observant enough to take that chance?  And in what way do others seem to approve of me?  As a leader?  Or a follower?  All questions you must ask of yourself on the road of: ‘How to Really Be Someone!’  One thing’s for sure: ‘Wherever you go, there you are!’ – Total Recall


The Good Sucker

_Downs Syndrome


I thought I’d get at my pure genius right away, before I wind up wandering the streets, looking for cigarette butts, to build my train set.  I DO like how the engine puffs out it’s own billows…  I’m so smart, my I.Q. didn’t even register!  My primary theme for this blog entry, though seldom conducive to my scattered points of view, is how we all managed to become self righteous, calculating, evil, manipulating, self appointed A-Holes in the first place.  It’s not your fault you stink! 

I know that you are all delicate flowers, so I’ll try not to traumatize you to the point of Epileptic Seizures.  The usual rule is ‘i’ before ‘e’, yet in the case of the word ‘seizures’, the ‘e’ and ‘i’ are totally confused, and gone into a spasm.  The point I’ll make, is that we wouldn’t feel nearly as clever as we do, without Idiots to compare ourselves to.  Feather-more, I’ll go on to prove that some of our best ideas come from closely observing Idiots in action…  Idiots may have ticked us off enough to become sneaky creeps, but you’d never know it looking at the picture above of this ‘Darling One’ with Downs Syndrome.  And more often than not, it’s simplicity coupled with a big heart that wins the day…

_complex math

Partly Fact and Partly Fiction!

Math is often a walking contradiction.  Don’t forget with math that you first start with a premise, to arrive at a hypothetical result.  We pose a question to which we seek an answer.  Because we can work it out, that doesn’t mean the mechanics are actually applicable.

I’m off times surprised how Physicists so insist that The Big Bang came from nothing, as an excuse to deny creationism.  Yet, if God is nothing, could something have come from Him as well?  It is a two way street.  If we ourselves are inherently flawed to begin with, what credibility rests upon our observations?   It’s like two goldfish looking through their distorted fish bowl into a living room and saying: ‘That must be the universe!’

Idiots Promote the Necessity of Ideas…

_A Cyclops-Monster

An Idiot may put up his hand in school to use the washroom, and never be heard from again…  Not because he got lost, but because you found him at the end of the day, in the washroom, fascinated with the soap.  Hence we invented soap dispensers, just to put our Idiots to shame!  Had an Idiot not seen the ultimate significance of counting all the sheets on a toilet paper role, we’d never have gained the wisdom to include that all important information on the package, so we can estimate the exact number of sheets we need per poop, and brush up on our advanced calculus…  Still, we’ve yet to include them within society except when we need to weave some new baskets.

In fact, we hold contests in public, honoring our Idiots weaving baskets to see who’ll finish first: obviously, an all day event.  Then all us geniuses gather round and ask silly questions like: ‘Are they getting paid?’  ‘What are they all so enthusiastic about?’  Little do they know, the winner gets to go home with a basket case of Craft Dinner!

Special Class.

Sort of gives you the illusion that you’re somebody doesn’t it?  Yet in truth, we try to separate our Idiots from our own off-spring in an effort not to pollute the gene pool.  When in fact, we completely miss the fact that they get horny too, and have a certain sense of appeal for those of us who feel we’re better off not knowing anyway…

We could outsmart ourselves in other ways as well.  Who knows?  Maybe one day technology will make computer screens so small that we can’t read them at all!  We’ll just have to take our computer’s word for things, and that’s how they’ll defeat us, leaving only the idiots which are no threat at all to them.

We know our idiots will never be rocket scientists, but the rocket scientists are considering ejecting them into space under the synonym of: ‘Astronaut’…  So we send them off to trade schools to teach them how to lick stamps for North Korea’s idea of minimum wage: the sniff of money residue!  WE build these Institutions with high sounding names to instill confidence like:  ‘Stupido Cabrone Leviticus YOU’  and ‘Walk Up The Stairs and Open The Door’, with straight hall-way, holding no confusing turns, at the end of which is one door that reads: ‘This Is The Place!’  Don’t forget though.  What an Idiot might read is: ‘sihT sI ehT ecalP!’

_A Johnny on the spot

Have Some Respect for Our Dummies!

They weren’t the fanciest classrooms that we could afford, but they were clean!  So be good to them…  No playing tricks on them.  OK?  Don’t give them the number to a Morgue and tell them it’s a Dating Service!  No sending them up in a hot air balloon and then giggling at them as they touch down in the middle of a Ford Dealership on the 6 O’clock news!  No sending them down to the Office for a jar of steam, or a left handed screw-driver, two headed hammer and such!  No setting them up with an Ice Cream Business in a Sauna…  OK?  And don’t shoot one in the forehead cuz he/she wouldn’t know…  It would just be a waste of a perfectly good bullet!  No donating their shoes to a Museum, or anything like that.  Don’t poor Diet Pepsi in their aquarium!  You never know!  One day, an Idiot might be your brain Surgeon!  Just remember…  You could rob one blind, but he/she would still love you anyway, so what fun is there in that?  Now that the educational system has advanced to combo. Butcher, Meat Packer, we have to be on our best behavior!  Take care.  Sincerely yours:  Whoever…

My Connections to The Mob


My life was on the line!

This post goes into chilling detail about my connections to The Mob!  My former girlfriend for whom I still dearly love, in solitary confinement, once informed me, during a long and heated argument over whether I should ‘brown bag it’ to work or not, that she was in solidly with the dangerous and notorious Ravioli Family: a particularly vicious group operating out of New Liskard Ontario, hoping to one day gang bang Shania Twain!  And all it would take to rub me out (a long used Mafia term meaning: ‘to smear tomato paste in your face!’). is one phone call!  She added: ‘Make no mistake! I have strong connections to The Ravioli Family, because of my extensive collection of nude, Sicilian, Baseball Cards!’

I spent that night tossing in turning, waking up in cold sweats screaming for the treat of possibly having tomato paste smeared in my face!  I laid there desperate! See?  I was constantly thinking of some way out of this extremely dangerous situation I now found myself in!  Tears came to my eyes as I lay there shaking: helplessly consumed that the prospect in the not to distant future, of having to come face to face with: ‘The Green Reaper!’

The Next Day…


As I was making myself a spaghetti and meatball sandwich for breakfast, from last night’s leftovers, the wheels were constantly turning for me to try and think of some way I might disguise myself so The Ravioli Family might overlook me!  I mean, who knows?  Perhaps my common law wife would put a tail on me, to make sure I didn’t cheat on her, or in any way, treat a tin of spaghetti sauce with disrespect!

The answer came to me in a flash of insight!


And suddenly, as I was pouring my morning Motts Tomato Juice, it came to me that why don’t I take Ballet Class and Tap Dancing lessons?  What Mobster is going to be on the look out for a man dressed in a Tu Tu, tap dancing his way to work?  So I quickly put my ingenious plan into operation!

A deadly encounter


At first my plan seemed to be working because even stray cats were avoiding me…  But then, one day while I was tap dancing to work, a suspicious looking Volkswagen Micro-Bus full of shifty looking long haired Hippies pulled up along side me!  The driver, obviously Sicilian, reached out the window and offered me a nude Baseball Card!  I was so nervous, I answered: ‘Oh, no thank you!  I’ve already eaten!’

Then he asked: ‘Will you show us a little Ballet?  A shiver went down my spine!  I new I had to really be on my toes here!  So I counted to 3 out loud and did my best pirouette!  He said: ‘That was pretty, and spiffy!’, and they all clapped!  Then he put the radio on and asked me to tap dance to a Bing Crosby song: ‘White Christmas’!  I knew they were testing me for my smarts, so I tried really hard to get into the beat and tapped it out nice and slow, but tastefully!  ‘That was really good son!’ he said.  And they all clapped and whistled…  Now encouraged, I asked if they’d like here me sing an Al Jolson song while I spin and tap dance at the same time!  He quickly replied: ‘No thanks.  We’re a large group of highly trained, professional Spaghetti Benders, and we’re nearly late for work now!  I didn’t believe that for a moment!  They then sputtered off…

After that, everything began to quiet down and I was never again bothered by anyone on Earth, ever!  Hey!  The last three seconds are totally blank to me, but my past stands out in vivid detail!  Needless to say, from that first day on, I treated my common law wife with the nude Sicilian Baseball Cards with the respect deserving of a Mob Bosses Mistress!  So I advice that you all beware of: ‘My Connections to The Mob’!

How to Change The World

Open Chat

Hello backward people, in your backward world, with your backward children, being filled with a bunch of backward rules and regulations designed to stifle creativity.  I bought a tuke from The Thrift Store day before yesterday.  It has flaps on it for your ears.  Yet when I put it on front-ways, it doesn’t quite cover my ears.  When I put it on backwards, it does!  

I brought along $2.70. Not because that’s what it costs, but because that’s what I think it’s worth.  I don’t buy things there.  I barter for them!  Why? Because people shouldn’t be seeking a profit for hand-me-down goods that people have handed over in good faith, to assist the poor.  They shouldn’t be exploiting the poor!

So after a much wrangling and brew-ha-ha, she finally agreed to accept the $2.70.  Then she quips: ‘You’re supposed to pay taxes on that ya know!  It’s the law!  I just looked off and pretended I was watching a bird fly away while she rang it up… Firstly, you’re not supposed to double tax things.  The taxes have already been paid on them!

And 3, should you obey a law that is unjust or incorrect?  And the answer is an emphatic NO: even if it means going to jail, because you’re not just protecting your rights, but the rights of millions!  You’ve got to stop complacently going along with the wrong poop Man: cuz that means you’re sleeping with the enemy, and if you sleep with the enemy, you’ll just have to inhale their viruses!  So think twice on that.  Laws are supposed to be designed for ‘The People’, not ‘The Business Community’ which are in cahoots with ‘The Government’ anyway!  That’s the ‘real’ law:  ‘So let it be written!  So let it be done – The Ten Contaminants…

Now they’re planning to limit just what you can and can’t say over the Internet, so there goes your freedom of speech! Constitution?  I have news for you!  You don’t have one anymore!  So all that your brave sons and daughters have fought and died to protect, this should amount to nothing now?  Are you out of your skulls?  That’s what the inability to act gets you!  Seems you’re so busy protecting the rights of others world wide, you’ve forgotten those rights that define your own homeland…  Don’t blame me!  It wasn’t my decision!


Reforming Our World Begins With You

More specifically, it begins with the children we are raising; the kinds of rules they should follow, and instilled ability to think outside of the box, and to approach problems from several different sides before giving up: ‘You haven’t failed 1000 times. You’ve just found 1000 wrong ways of doing things!’  And that’s valuable to know, so you know what to avoid in looking for the right answers in the future.  The 1001st. way just may be the right one!

And how do we teach our children right from wrong, good from bad, if our educational system is just filling our kids heads with a bunch of CRAP they’ll never use?  Plus, on how to utilize their two Gods: ‘Science and Technology’…  I’m not saying those things are bad for you: only that they are designed to serve the rich, not you!

Take my sneakers, please!  They design the shoe laces now with tiny grooves in the sides, so that when you tie them up, they stay tied.  Awe, but their sneaky trick is, that they only make those grooves to a specific depth as a signal that they think it’s time for you to replace your runners…  And that’s how they manipulate you into buying another pair!

What Our Children Really Need to Know

They need to know real, practical methods they can employ within the world they’re about to face.  They don’t need to be shown the results of experiments, but directed on ways to come up with what their own experiments to determine the out-come of what they need to find out about themselves, based upon their own career choices.  In other words, classrooms should be made up of children with similar interests and taught along those lines.  

If your child wants to become an Astronomer, you don’t need to teach him how to balance books.  The math skills he needs run much deeper than that!  If your child wants to become a business man, what does that have to do with stars and galaxies?  Suppose your child has athletic capabilities.  Well then?  Shouldn’t he be out on the field playing football or something?  Education designed to cater to your own children’s interests.  And first hand experiences just as to how it works in the real world.  Those are the changes we need to make!  We are all made up of a diversity of things…


Proper Moral Conduct

Teaching our children to be immoral con artists and manipulators doesn’t mean they’re smarter than us because they must resort to deception n lies to achieve their goals, which carries on into how they implement them.  Besides, one day they’ll slip up and end up behind bars conning inmates into a portion of their meals…  Besides, people in their right minds don’t really want people who use them as friends, so they’re cutting themselves off from those they could other-wise trust.  Not so clever after all…  Hmmm?

Rebellion, manipulation and bullying should not so much be punished as intelligent and compassionate behavior should be emphasized and rewarded.  You can take a whip to a rebels back all day, and that will never change him/her.  In fact, making them: ‘The Noble Marter’ only stokes the flame!  Standing out as an outcast from the rest of the group may just have some positive effect though.  If they see their plan to be the big, bad, hero isn’t working, it may give them cause to rethink it.  Parents who exhibit bad traits only teach their children to behave the same way.

Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say

If you desire a world free from global warming, you need to start adapting to electric cars!  If you want your children to have ‘The Good Life’, then you should be teaching them to choose their friends wisely, or they’ll just go down the same path as all the rest of the blind Lemmings!  If it’s your desire that your children become strong and healthy, then you shouldn’t be sitting around the TV all day, stuffing yourself with hamburgers!  How should you expect them to discipline themselves when you can’t exhibit a shred of it yourselves?  

‘Tay-Coe-Mose-Coe!’  I know you mosquitoes!  You want changes, but you don’t want to do what’s necessary to implement. Just how involved with your own communities affairs for example?  Probably Nada!  Zilch!  No comprehend-day!

What do you see when you hang with your friends…  You see Whites with Whites, Blacks with Blacks, Aussies with Aussies…  Boarders need to come down!  There should be no need to separate ourselves from one another, impose sheriffs or any of that garbage.  Then you whine and gripe your lives aways all about how we need to stop racial prejudice! How can you ever expect to understand one another if you never hang together?  

Research confirms that cultures who separate themselves from others tend to fair poorly, both in diversity, and in intelligent solutions to their problems…  Taking affirmative action on an individual level concerning these problems, is the only viable solution as to how to change the world into a better place:  Not just for you and your offspring, but for everyone!


I Must Be in Denial

I am constantly grappling with why I get 234 comments in: ‘Dinosaur Extracts’ Hobbies category, from people I’ve never met, and virtually nothing from people I comment to on my Reader?  In all fairness, I need you to tell me what the problem is with my writing so that I can correct it and bring you more relevant content.  This provides for a win win situation, complimentary to us all.  There are some things I have great difficulty with and need guidance for.  One of which is the sorry life I’ve lead that has frozen up my heart except to express rage. Denial is my only refuge…

I’ve seen nothing but people parading by me getting everything out of life, whereas I’ve only experienced adversity and heartache!  In real life, I attract people like a magnet attracts metal filings.  No!  I meant to say: ‘Like a flower attracts honey bees’ yet see, that sounds all too feminine to me, though that’s where the emotional statement resides!  My poems seem to be the only place where I can let go, and I avoid this by making too many funny ones and not enough serious ones! Crying is supposed to be good for me, yet I seem to never be able to.  

Then when I do cry, it comes out in buckets and I can’t stop, further driving me away from the inclination.  I can compute, access, anylize (stupid dictionary) with pin point accuracy.  Yet when it comes to me just saying how I love you and why, I just draw a blank, and that’s so painful for me!  If I get to your site and see your heart’s in trouble, I’m a mountain spring of suggestions to tackle the problem, but can’t feel it with you.  Sad huh?  That’s what I thought you’d say…  Having smarts is no more than robotic without feelings.  I know I feel that I need you badly, but can’t express that without telling you off for rejecting me.  Where is the answer? Beats me!  I must be in denial :O(