Spank You Very Much

Introduction:

Contrary to popular belief, grieving is a process in which we come to terms with a person we’ve lost, rather than a suffering of their absence.  It is a process of forgiveness, not only for what transgressions against you are inflicted by a departed one, yet also for yourself, for not having forgiven them while they were alive.  Certainly even those we love have transgressed against us in one form or other.  No one is perfect by any means.  Yet for those who have viciously or ignorantly hurt us so deeply, that it seems unfathomable for us to even consider forgiving them, this is the true challenge of real strength and character!  In this article, I not only intend to state why we must forgive, but how important it is to approach God for proper instruction to go about doing so.  It’s not easy, and requires much reflection and deep contemplation on the matter, both for their freedom, and your own…

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Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments.[10] The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems.[11] Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.

How Do We Fail To Forgive?

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When I was young, I found it so easy to forgive others because my mind was fresh, and I was so willing to look behind the reasons why people acted the way that they did.  Yet after being what seemed to be more and more senselessly beaten down by others, my heart grew cold and distant from them.  And by doing so, I gave up the one thing that was most precious to my existence on this Earth: my curiosity towards people: how they think and feel, and why they do the things they do.

A lack of curiosity stems from us either being unwilling to learn and understand, or thinking we already know and understand enough.  Unfortunately, most people reside at either end of these two extremes, when curiosity in fact lies someplace in between.  It was this discovery that lead me to understand that we therefore forgive others out of fear and obligation, rather than from a true change of heart.  This is a curious observation indeed because it explains why there’s so much war and hatred in this world.  It’s because we haven’t learned how to forgive ourselves yet, let alone tackling how to forgive others…

To Forgive, We Must Also Forget…

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After my brother died, I realized how much I still held against him in life: choosing to concentrate on his faults and shortcomings rather than understanding the circumstances behind them, and seeing his attempts to make an honest effort in this life.  You can’t forgive without trust!  And that’s a tall order when you feel as though someone violates that trust on a constant basis…  So what do you do?  You approach God with the problem…

Call it a hunch.  Call me wrong!  Call me irresponsible!  Stop calling me names!  OK?  But the one question I knew I had to ask God was the one I feared most: ‘How can you forgive me, for not forgiving my brother?’  And His response (since I always ask for wisdom, love and insight in my prayers) was simple yet elegant: ‘Forgive your brother first!  Then ask for forgiveness from me.’  So to forgive him, I had to first forgive myself for not forgiving him!  One must heal one’s own self first before thinking on the matter clearly, and with an open heart…

Do You Know What You Know?

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Do I know what I know?  I must always ask myself that question to reawaken my own curiosity, and to understand the workings behind people better!  This opens the door to more than people, but to everything…  Recently for instance, the question: ‘What is an ion?’ has been plaguing me no end!  LOL!  People run a little deeper than ions though.  In The Lord’s Prayer, what do we ask for?  (I always get you with The Lords Prayer!)  LOL!  We ask: ‘Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…’  So is it others we want to forgive?  Or do we really want to forgive ourselves for forgiving half heartedly out of fear of retribution, and some mechanical obligation?  Something to think on!  The key to real forgiveness lies in one word listed boldly in the picture above…  Love…

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2 thoughts on “Spank You Very Much

  1. This is not only quite profound, Darrell, it amazes me…I have known so few people in my walk who would even entertain forgiving others, never mind coming to the wisdom and observant truth that forgiving one’s self is completely vital to wholly forgiving others or asking their forgiveness in turn…I am sorry for the grief you’ve suffered, but I see the point of it…this blog…you’re a good man, my friend…Katie P.S. Thank you for your likes and comments on my site…I’m glad you missed me more than grapefruit, cuz I missed you more than spinach! LOL!!

    • That last line made me smile! How is it we always know whom to love, and whom to steer clear of? We must all have some kind of built in radar… Your comments are always a pleasure to read! OK! I missed you more than a sister. I’ve never had a sister, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. LOL! Cheers Darling One :O)

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