Of Corpse

Just thought I’d bring you all up to speed about my dead brother.  It’s been about a month now since he died.  So yesterday, we got a call from the Coroner telling us that his body is really stinking up his office now, and promised to send us a bill for every day that he doesn’t get up and walk away.  Naturally, we were concerned, so we explained to him that his so called best friend, appointed Executor of the Will in Victoria BC says he doesn’t have time to search his house for the Will, because he’s too busy in a custody battle with his first wife, who’s suing him for $17,000.  And last we heard, he was hiding under the bed…  So we can’t free up the $80,000 from my brother’s pension fund and life insurance to bury him with, unless we have the Will: in which case, the money will just default back to the Government, for filling in pot holes.

So he asked us if we couldn’t just get get a loan from the Bank in the mean time.  At that, we burst out laughing, informing him that banks don’t hand out loans to people on O.D.S.P. because they get under $30,000 a year. We told him he should be ragging on the person hiding under his bed in British Columbia, and gave him his number, for which he should get about the same result that we’ve been getting all month…  Nothingness, back up by double talk…

So now, we’re left to trot down to Legal Aid, and explain the whole smelly mess to a Lawyer there, take it to Court, and have a Judge appoint me as Executor of the Will, and all the responsibility there in, to get my brother buried.  Then they have to ask a Judge in Victoria BC, if he can’t issue a warrant for the Police there, to ransack Vern’s A-Hole best friend’s house, find the Will, and coax The fake Executor out from under his bed.

Then they’ll fax a copy of the Will to us, so we can undo all this Creep did to undo what we did, to try and get him buried, and do it all over again.  Meanwhile, everyone in the township of Oshawa Ontario is walking around with air conditioners strapped to their backs attached to gas masks to ward of the stench of decaying flesh.

Since, on top of this dilemma, and because I suffer from Depression in the first place, this whole business has immobilized and paralyzed me from taking care of my own health.  So now I can’t sleep, exercise or digest food, and fear this will lead me to a heart attack as well, where upon, I’ll be left to stink up a Coroners’ office in my town. This in turn could set off a whole chain of bodies stinking up Coroner’s offices throughout the country, giving rise to another black death.  Just thought I’d inform you of what’s going on at this point in time…

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4 thoughts on “Of Corpse

    • Thank you! You seem to know how much I needed that… I won’t forget your understanding! Of corpse, having a sense of humor helps: i.e. looking at it as a bystander, you’ve got to chuckle at the shear ridiculousness of it all! We’ve all been placed in a world that just doesn’t make sense, and never has had. We can’t let it get the better of us: just smile, and go on doing what we do. I’ll survive :O)

    • Thank you for your concern Mockingbird… I try hard not to dwell on it too much. I’ve stopped overloading on ice-cream yogurt and have doubled up on my exercise schedule to include every day now :O)

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