Big Prize Money!


She really DOES like to share-a-pova, and internationally too!  Here she is waiting for the next, big, shot…  The way she screams after hitting each ball coming or going, you’d think she’s either having a baby, or loosing her virginity.  It must be disturbing for her opponent to have someone screaming at you all through the entire game!  There’s no question about how worked up she gets, each and every match.  To some people, tennis is fun.  To Maria, it’s sex!

During her last game with Peng Shuai, which sky rocketed her into the quarter finals, she came right up to the camera after each shot, and admired herself.  After a few cameo appearances, it began to make me laugh hysterically!  I’ve yet to see an ego this large since the sinking of The Titanic!  She must be Russian…  Maria is shooting for the biggest purse in the history of professional tennis.  The winner of The Australian Open gets 3.1 million monopoly bucks!  That’s a lot of gum balls!

The only person standing in her way to the finish line is Serena Williams, a devout Jehovah’s Witness who’s never supposed to compete with anyone, let alone coast to coast, she often looks like a mad dog out there, who wants it pretty badly!  Given the option between ego infested tug of war between a good, little, Witness begging for money, and that of a professional tennis player, drooling in front of a jewelry store, I’m sure she’d choose the tennis…

Peng Shuai


Oooops!  Excuse me for sneezing!  Peng Shuai was defeated by Maria yesterday in straight sets: 6 – 3,. 6 – 0.  Don’t let that fool you.  Last year, she won at Wimbledon!  Her she is grabbing a ball for her coach to examine under a microscope…  She seems to squint a lot, but she’s a feisty, little, runner who knows her way around the court!

The Big Faceoff


Maria Sharapova will faceoff with Canada’s own Eugenie Bouchard.  Speaking of faces being off, here’s Bouchard talking to her coach.  Her mouth is this gaping, to try and hold all the prize money she’s hoping for.  Yet I fear Maria will be just a little much for the quickly up rising young, 20 year old.  In fact she has been voted the fastest rising star since our own sun, and I do foresee many grand slam victories in her future, barring a freak mud slide…


It was difficult to find a good shot of Genie’s stunningly beautiful persona.  This was the best I could do.  For safety porpoises, all the rest were blurry…  Genie’s Army was there in full force chanting the ending to ‘Hey Jude’ all through the match, to hopefully discourage any opponent, and hopefully get a free gang bang in the locker room… Hope is good!  They follow her around like a pack of wild dogs…  Poor thing!  She should hire a Boxer to puff up her face a little and perhaps keep the hounds at bay.  Genie may not win the quarter finals against the screaming talents of Sharapova, yet it does promise to be nothing short of an intriguing match!  This is Hunkly Drinkly reporting…


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