How to Push the ‘Like’ Button

How to push the like button without having a stroke!

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Since I’ve got your attention, I thought I’d ham it up a little.  Go ahead and press the ‘like’ button.  GA ahead…  I’m sure you’ll like the post.  How did that make you feel?  It’s OK!  You’re just having a simple anxiety attack.  Sweating is normal! It will pass…  Put your head between your legs and scream like a chicken!  LOL!  There.  Aren’t you glad I didn’t say: ‘like button’ again?  I’m sorry!  I meant to say: ‘Bike Glutton!’  Perhaps a shot of penicillin is in order?  Maybe a little transcendental medication?  I’m sorry!  I meant to say meditation.  Are you calm now?  Your reputation is still secure?  Suck some laughing gas, and you’ll be fine.

What’s not to like?

  • Long, boring, pointless stories with unhappy endings, even worse big-innings, and a vacuum in between!
  • A poem about the thrill of playing with your nuts…
  • Saying you’re a Nun while you swear like a Hooker!
  • Directing people to blank pages!
  • Reading someone’s hissy fit while they dump all there excuses for joining Isis on you!
  • A post that says not to pick your nose while you’re watching a good movie because the popcorn sticks to your finger…
  • An ugly witch advertising beauty products.
  • A photo gallery with 19 different angled shots of the barf bag instructions on an airplane!
  • A detailed 40 page manual on how to make scrambled eggs!
  • Someone’s blow by blow presentation of how they became a Cyclops…
  • While someone’s bragging about their new micro-chip, suddenly your screen goes blank!
  • A long winded post about why someone’s too busy to post!
  • I’d soon kill myself than like any of those miserable homo saplings!
  • Press the like button?  Really!  I have a collage education!  You think I’m some kind of mental softy?  What do they think?  I am?  What are they trying?  To do?

What could possibly go wrong?

1i

  • Your ‘like’ could trigger a nuclear war via The Butterfly Effect!
  • Liking someone could transmit deadly computer viruses and make your Mac. toss it’s cookies!
  • Perhaps your tiny photo will be distributed all over the Internet as Cycle Slut of the year!
  • Dangerous computer generated Gremlins could invade your home using advanced virtual photo identifying technology!
  • Google sends all likes to the F.B.I.
  • What if you should like someone and they don’t like you back?
  • You don’t like your gavitar to begin with…
  • You have a crippling illness that only effects your like finger.
  • It’s too far to the like button!
  • Some people want your e-mail address so they can send you annoying thank you notes!
  • Like is too shallow a word for you, so you’d actually have to say something…  But what?  I have no brain!
  • How dare they want to be liked!  Where’s the ‘hate’ button???
  • ‘Like’ is a word for the weak and the tiny…
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One thought on “How to Push the ‘Like’ Button

  1. You could certainly see your enthusiasm within the work you write.
    The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.
    Always go after your heart.

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