How to push the like button without having a stroke!
Since I’ve got your attention, I thought I’d ham it up a little. Go ahead and press the ‘like’ button. GA ahead… I’m sure you’ll like the post. How did that make you feel? It’s OK! You’re just having a simple anxiety attack. Sweating is normal! It will pass… Put your head between your legs and scream like a chicken! LOL! There. Aren’t you glad I didn’t say: ‘like button’ again? I’m sorry! I meant to say: ‘Bike Glutton!’ Perhaps a shot of penicillin is in order? Maybe a little transcendental medication? I’m sorry! I meant to say meditation. Are you calm now? Your reputation is still secure? Suck some laughing gas, and you’ll be fine.
What’s not to like?
- Long, boring, pointless stories with unhappy endings, even worse big-innings, and a vacuum in between!
- A poem about the thrill of playing with your nuts…
- Saying you’re a Nun while you swear like a Hooker!
- Directing people to blank pages!
- Reading someone’s hissy fit while they dump all there excuses for joining Isis on you!
- A post that says not to pick your nose while you’re watching a good movie because the popcorn sticks to your finger…
- An ugly witch advertising beauty products.
- A photo gallery with 19 different angled shots of the barf bag instructions on an airplane!
- A detailed 40 page manual on how to make scrambled eggs!
- Someone’s blow by blow presentation of how they became a Cyclops…
- While someone’s bragging about their new micro-chip, suddenly your screen goes blank!
- A long winded post about why someone’s too busy to post!
- I’d soon kill myself than like any of those miserable homo saplings!
- Press the like button? Really! I have a collage education! You think I’m some kind of mental softy? What do they think? I am? What are they trying? To do?
What could possibly go wrong?
- Your ‘like’ could trigger a nuclear war via The Butterfly Effect!
- Liking someone could transmit deadly computer viruses and make your Mac. toss it’s cookies!
- Perhaps your tiny photo will be distributed all over the Internet as Cycle Slut of the year!
- Dangerous computer generated Gremlins could invade your home using advanced virtual photo identifying technology!
- Google sends all likes to the F.B.I.
- What if you should like someone and they don’t like you back?
- You don’t like your gavitar to begin with…
- You have a crippling illness that only effects your like finger.
- It’s too far to the like button!
- Some people want your e-mail address so they can send you annoying thank you notes!
- Like is too shallow a word for you, so you’d actually have to say something… But what? I have no brain!
- How dare they want to be liked! Where’s the ‘hate’ button???
- ‘Like’ is a word for the weak and the tiny…