Rant # 1867


Stupid Stupermarkets

Do you ever get the feeling when you’re food shopping, that nobody knows what the flying flock they’re doing?  There could be Lesbians in the soup for all I know…

I went shopping at: ‘Food Basics’ yesterday, for one thing, because I put my trust in them that it will BE THERE!  They made me feel more like a big Dummy, wandering about town in a coma!  It’s that stupid, big building that went up just down the street from me.  It’s a whopping seven stories high, and it’s long too!  Ever since, there have been long line ups at the bank, and all the food that I like, is ALWAYS MISSING!  Food Basics huh?  They must mean cat food!

First, I asked the checkout bitch if The Manager was in, or picking his teeth?  ‘Oh no!’ she quiped:  ‘On Fridays, he doesn’t come in until after 1 pm.’  THE FREAKING MANAGER!!  So brain dead me asked if there was anyone else I could speak to? ‘Yes’, she pelted, Mario is in the Managers Office.  ‘Fine’ I retorted and marched off there hoping to find an AK 47 along the way.  And IT’S NOT EVEN MARIO!!  So I asked the stranger, who was so busy chatting it up with the exchange crap

Clerk, just why my favorite Chapman’s yogurt: ‘Crunchy Pecan’ was always out of stock and 15 bands of CHOCOLATE GARBAGE I’m allergic to, just sits there in the cooler forever LOOKING STUPID AT ME!!  What is this world coming to?

‘Oh we don’t sell yogurt ice-cream…’ the moronic FLIT emphatically stated!  So I begged: ‘I have a liter of your Crappy Vanilla’ I can put your Crumby Jam on!  Wanna see it?’  ‘Oh that!’ he suddenly recalls…  ‘I can page Julie who runs that section’ he brilliantly encourages…  ‘Oh I’m sorry!  Julie’s on her break right now…’

I’ll bet a fat tub of ice-cream yogurt HE’S ALWAYS SORRY!!  So trying to improve the dust behind his skull, I blurted: ‘Just order in what everybody’s buying, forget the other CRAP, and you might make SOME MONEY!  They may even give you A PROMOTION!’  As I stormed away then in a self perpetuated cyclone, he double talks behind me: ‘I’M ALREADY AS HIGH UP AS I CAN BE!’  ‘That figures…’  I muttered to myself.  DOUBLE TALK!!   That’s all You the customer, who’s ALWAYS WRONG, will ever get from this crap gassed, backward forking rock!

Black Friday


Do you really look forward to being punched out over a pair of socks?  And it’s Black Friday!  What are all those white people doing there?  This was a sad day in 1929 when the market crashed, and business people jumped from sky scrappers, and you want to celebrate it?  Now they want a whole black week!  Where does greed and selfishness ever end, and when will people ever wise up to the fact that these are just ‘things’ and things can never love you back!  And most likely, neither will the sorry slobs you’re buying them for!  I’m glad black people boycotted them!  Seems they’re the only smart people left, with the black and white garb on, in the picture above…  LOL!

Arguing For The Sake of Arguing


The mouse I shacked up with, seems to have it in the vacuum between her ears, that I’ll never change, and she deserves a Master’s degree for laying on her rump roast, watching brain dead TV all day!

Here’s how backwards and stupid people really are!  First I run my ass (Well, not the actual ass that Jesus road in on) off. Then I make my mouse breakfast as usual, because she’s too brain dead to remember what food looks like!  Then I go shopping for something that isn’t even there. So silly me…  I then go to the Thrift Store to buy a tuke cuz I just froze my ears off, and run into a friend, who just so happens to be a girl, who respectfully requests that Bonehead and I carry her new love seat home for her.  No problem.  Then when I get home, my mouse wants me to go back and carry home a love seat for her.  No problem…  It’s just cuz she’s jealous I did something for another female besides her!

So I pick out the best one in the store, not a mark on it, and she complains that she had to pay $48 for it, on half price day! That love seat was in excellent condition, color co-ordinated with her poop brown room, (navy blue, with two reversible cushions, navy blue and art deco on the other side) what would easily have cost over $300 in any furniture sucking store, and she’s not happy with the deal?

Then for good measure, she informs me how her burnt out son and, constantly bitching wife, and brain dead constantly squalling embryo is spending a week for Crismis at our place:  Just the recipe to drive me out of my flocking tree, while I was trying to meditate, so I don’t take a cleaver to her for ruining my day, in a long succession of days approaching the three year mark!  And I can’t kick her out, CUZ SHE CAN’T WALK THAT FAR!


2 thoughts on “Rant # 1867

  1. i love my new couch and im so very grateful to you and bonehead for helping me, a disabled single woman, with carrying it home. you made my families holiday with your kindness. we all love it. i was going to buy the one that you bought but it was a little heavier than mine. i talked to your other half last night at the same store she didnt tell me she was mad but she has no worries. anyway if i was going to mess around it wouldnt be with you . you are taken bone head is the single guy. geez . anway im grateful for you and boneheads muscles you made it look easy. lol i hope you love your new couch too i know we all love this one here. merry holidays i hope the visitors dont stay too long it reminds me of national lampoons christmas vacation when the rv shows up . lol. may you get all the pecan yougart ice cream your heart desires.

    • Wait a minute! I’m single too! The only difference between Bonehead and me, is that I just so happen to be living with a Gargoyle… Bonehead is really committed to humping, but that’s about all. He only looks after my bedridden Gargoyle at times, because he feels sorry for her, and because after 20 years of breast-feeding, I thought it about time that he should make it up to me. Why did I take so long? Well, for the longest time, I thought that I wasn’t really living here either!

      I love my new love seat. The throw cushions are just right for suffocating someone! If all else fails, I’ll have her sent to a meat factory and made into beef jerky! Thank you for the season’s grievings, but I hope everyone chokes on stuffing! Leslie has a cold now. Naturally, since she’s been to every Doctors office in Ontario… It’s all OK though. I put a bag over her head, and won’t take it off until she whistles Dixie!

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