My Morning Prayer

Dearest Lard;

 

I sneak up on thee, in the name of our sovereign Father of all creation, Howard in Heaven;

It is with a collapsed lung, and a shriveled kidney that I love thee for thou art, science, and technology!

I ask of thee, only small free-bees…  Wait!  Let me get my list!

Grant me oh Lard, that I may see the terrible folly of everyone around me, especially my rotten better half!

Help her to get off my back, get up off her lazy ass, I’m sure you’re familiar with, and clean up my mess!

Teach her the alphabet, if they still have the soup on sale!

Help everyone on earth to follow my example as both a coward and a sneak!

Give me strength oh Lard, to hit the urinal, and raise my I.Q. by at least 15 points!

Direct me through traffic, and give me the road rage necessary to teach them all a lesson they’ll never forget!

Give me sex, a lot of money, and rulership over the Niagara peninsula!

Remove from me this stench that follows me, even after a shower!

Give me blindness to all the annoying questions people keep asking me.  I just want to be left alone!

Kill off all the insects you mistakingly made in the first place!

Give all my so called friends, pain, suffering and agony! 

Shoot all my enemies in the Temple!

OK…  That’s it for now.  I’ll pester you again whenever I feel like it…

I’m going to slither out of the room now…

In the name of your dearly beloved son, Dr. Kevorkian!

 

: Men!  Eh?

AngrybabyiStock_000017003512XSmall1_thumb.jpg

 

Advertisements

One thought on “My Morning Prayer

  1. I see a lot of interesting articles here, i know writing posts requires a lot of time, but i know unlimited source of content for your page , just search in google – masagaltas free content

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s