Blogging for Pleasure
What wood you do without us crotchety, old Buzzards to push you around all day and tell you what to do? Eh? Huh? Eh? Huh? Eh? Notice I’ve moved on from representing us as Apes, Chimpanzees and Orangutans, to the child within us all! Why? Because everyone always loves a good Saga: a continuing epic with all the boredom you’ve come to know and love! It’s just good, cowardly developing Blogging skills. Always add to what you have so it continues to grow and flourish like a ripening grape! It’s all part of the continuing saga of backward thinking, so don’t be shy. Don’t you just wanna pick this one for your very own? The baby! Adorable!
It used to be that I was frightened to blog: frightened of what you’d think of me! Frightened of what I’d think of myself! Only when you can shake off this fear, can you approach blogging like a ray of sunshine, both for you, and for your reading audience. And contrary to popular believe, it’s just as important to read blogs as it is to write them. We must share that with which we are afraid of, to get out of that comfort zone of complacency, and into the clear blue sky of emotional expression.
Now, I leap out of bed, moving at the speed of dark, with so many thoughts on what to blog about, that I don’t even take time out to fart and brush my teeth. Now it’s a craving for me! And we will do what we crave in spite of what our bodies tell us. I usually wake up, spit and rinse, brush my tooth, and guzzle down a cold glass of water right away. (You should only coma when you want to two paws!) BTW… Just a little punctuation trivia to try and explain what you already picked up from the last sentence, causing me to write this long,boring continuation of unnecessary tripe!
Always Go with Your First In Sticks!
So what does all this have to do with backward thinking? Plenty! You started out frightened, and ended up brave. Yes? Take farts for example. Please? You should take your farts and learn to enjoy and savor them. But no! We in sinktively want to get rid of them, lock them in our cars where they remain to greet you in the morning. We say: ‘Let’r rip!’ When what we really need to do, is save them in a jar, and sniff them occasionally for good luck! Flatulence, as you know, is in and of themselves, a continuing saga. As is my stupid cat what wakes me up every morning at 6 am. One may feel android about this, and kick their cats out the window, when you know full well that this is backward thinking. My days are jam packed with natural gas, so I must be up early to enjoy that!
And don’t think our farts haven’t left the Earth to go on and explore new worlds where puzzled Aliens must confess: ‘Ya know? That’s not half bad! Think of your horn blats, as more like gas escaping from a star. Once they’re gone, you can never retrieve them! Oh you can try and chase them down, but you’ll never get it all! We laugh when we fart, when we should be sad that our essence of skunk, is slowly leaving us, until, in the end, we’re no more than a vapor ourselves! We should learn to treasure our poofs, and bring them to: ‘The Hall of Flame’ for approval.
Say The Unexpected
Using my brilliant grasp of the obvious, this is a picture of my stats! You should always check this page first for constipation. Right now, I haven’t done anything, so naturally, my stats have dripped down my leg, as a result of only two people watching. One gasious ornament from Thailand and a Government Official who apparently flies to Alaska, also via natural gas! Study this page often. Let it motivate you to bigger and bolder sniffs!
It used to be that I thought any more than 300 words and my in sticks told me that people won’t read them because they’re too long! Wrong backward stinking! Those are the ones I look for now to read through because I now understand that these are the babies who think while they stink, and have truly found something to toot about! Why? Because everyone loves the continuing saga of backward thinking! See what I did there? I included the title in both the first and the last paragraphs which in turn ranks you higher on search engines. Some will feed you a whole bunch of stools and regulations! Have you ever read OM’s blog? Probably. He dosen’t even include subtitles, and look at all the shits he gets! This contudeds my percussion on natural gas. LOL! Oh! One more sting. Always reread each paragraph for mistakes and then it won’t seem like like a long, drawn out procedure when you finish writing. See how your horn blats sound to you as well and ask yourself what revisions are necessary :O)