Terrify The Kiddies!
T’was the night before Chrismiss… And all threw the mouse… Oops! Wrong Holy Day! I quit smoking pot a long time ago (about three weeks), because it was making me turn Spanish. Anyway, me and my cat: ‘Smokey’ used to enjoy a few Marijuana Cabbage Rolls together and I would sing him a Spanish lullaby. Forgive my Spanish which smells: ‘Donda estas esa promesa K-Hole dios assist us, poor me’! Roughly translated, it’s put so romantically meaning: ‘Where is the promise you gave to me?’ And being stoned, he’d just started laughing at me:
I’m sorry and embarrassed to say this, but I think my cat is turning Homo-Sapient! I first notice once upon a time, last night, All Hallows Eve, after he smoked his Hookah Pipe designed for grey cats, he lied down on the arm of my big, green, bean bag type chair. You know? The kind that tends to hug your body so you can suck your thumb, and feel safe…
Anyway, he gave me one of his meows under his breath and wanted me to touch him in inappropriate places, if you catch my drift: like up the bridge of his nose, on top of his head and along his whiskers… Then he attached his paw to my sweat shirt and wouldn’t let go. I thought he was going to sexually assault me! Instead I ripped him off and he then fell asleep in his usual place when he’s stoned: On a homeless dog…
Nothing odd about that… So I had my usual bowl of Hagus, and went to sleep with my ghoul friend… While I sleep he goes out through the hole at our bedroom window, he made in our screen, which is right over our heads, so he always wakes me up at 7 am. when he comes in carrying a half dead bat he likes to torture… Only on this very spooky Halloween morning, his meow sounded very different! More like: ‘Harper! Harper!’ Ooo! Very scary! He had changed into this:
I could tell he wanted me! I immediately phoned The Zoo and asked what to do? They told me, it’s OK, some cats are just a little different than the rest of us… It wasn’t long before I knew the filthy truth of the matter. He was turning Homo-sapien! It must’ve happened during his Nappie. I didn’t know what to do! So I put on my plaid skirt, pulled out my bag pipes, and started playing: ‘Don’t you think I’m Sexy?’, when right before my eyes he turned into something hideous!
Oooo! Are you frightened? Did I scare you kiddies with my kitty? Did you pee your Halloween costume? Are you gonna wear the silly thing all day now? I know you want candy but first I must terrify with homo-sapien tendencies… After a long while (about 15 cat minutes), he changed into this:
Then he told me he was taking over and started singing: ‘No no no no, I don’t smoke it no Moe. I’m tired of waking up on the floor! No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze, and then it makes it hard to find thee door!’ So tonight I have to go out dressed like Ringo Star. I hope I don’t run into any blood sucking scorpions from Grinch Village! My cat’s going out just dressed as himself :O(