My Scary Cat!

Terrify The Kiddies!

T’was the night before Chrismiss…  And all threw the mouse…  Oops!  Wrong Holy Day!  I quit smoking pot a long time ago (about three weeks), because it was making me turn Spanish.  Anyway, me and my cat: ‘Smokey’ used to enjoy a few Marijuana Cabbage Rolls together and I would sing him a Spanish lullaby.  Forgive my Spanish which smells: ‘Donda estas esa promesa K-Hole dios assist us, poor me’!  Roughly translated, it’s put so romantically meaning: ‘Where is the promise you gave to me?’  And being stoned, he’d just started laughing at me:


 The Transformation

I’m sorry and embarrassed to say this, but I think my cat is turning Homo-Sapient!  I first notice once upon a time, last night, All Hallows Eve, after he smoked his Hookah Pipe designed for grey cats, he lied down on the arm of my big, green, bean bag type chair.  You know?  The kind that tends to hug your body so you can suck your thumb, and feel safe…

Anyway, he gave me one of his meows under his breath and wanted me to touch him in inappropriate places, if you catch my drift: like up the bridge of his nose, on top of his head and along his whiskers…  Then he attached his paw to my sweat shirt and wouldn’t let go.  I thought he was going to sexually assault me!  Instead I ripped him off and he then fell asleep in his usual place when he’s stoned: On a homeless dog…

Funny animal picutre with a grey cat sleeping on top of a black dog

Nothing odd about that…  So I had my usual bowl of Hagus, and went to sleep with my ghoul friend…  While I sleep he goes out through the hole at our bedroom window, he made in our screen, which is right over our heads, so he always wakes me up at 7 am. when he comes in carrying a half dead bat he likes to torture…  Only on this very spooky Halloween morning, his meow sounded very different!  More like: ‘Harper!  Harper!’  Ooo!  Very scary!  He had changed into this:


I could tell he wanted me!  I immediately phoned The Zoo and asked what to do?  They told me, it’s OK, some cats are just a little different than the rest of us…  It wasn’t long before I knew the filthy truth of the matter.  He was turning Homo-sapien! It must’ve happened during his Nappie.  I didn’t know what to do!  So I put on my plaid skirt, pulled out my bag pipes, and started playing: ‘Don’t you think I’m Sexy?’, when right before my eyes he turned into something hideous!


Oooo!  Are you frightened?  Did I scare you kiddies with my kitty?  Did you pee your Halloween costume?  Are you gonna wear the silly thing all day now?  I know you want candy but first I must terrify with homo-sapien tendencies…  After a long while (about 15 cat minutes), he changed into this:


Then he told me he was taking over and started singing: ‘No no no no, I don’t smoke it no Moe.  I’m tired of waking up on the floor!  No thank you please, it only makes me sneeze, and then it makes it hard to find thee door!’  So tonight I have to go out dressed like Ringo Star.  I hope I don’t run into any blood sucking scorpions from Grinch Village!  My cat’s going out just dressed as himself :O(


8 thoughts on “My Scary Cat!

    • Tricky question. How do I know you’re not just pumping me to see what I know? I wise wizard never reveals their entire bag of tricks… One sneaky trick is to unplug your modem when you’re not using your computer. That’s the little black cord that plugs into your little black box. Some virus software and some programs allow you to encrypt them with passwords of their own. Never open any email from an unknown source. Some decrypting software only unlocks 12 digests. So use 14 in your password. Sometimes BS baffles brains so you can use an incredibly short password. They may think somethings wrong with their software. Check your virus scanner’s settings for protection, if any is available. Remember, there’s always a back door if you close the front one. Folders that have programs that only you want access to can be locked as well. Run frequent boot scans… Find an experienced hacker you know and get him to close your back door. Always keep a disk of windows handy. Always back up all your information to disk. Make frequent restore points. In Canada you report suspicious activity to The Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Their lines are usually busy though. Suspicious mean things like mouse cursors moving by themselves or messages that tell you your program is already in use.

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