Lotions and Creams
With a title like this, all the women will be looking! LOL! I just couldn’t figure a way to keep them away… They love me THAT MUCH! Right… Now lets get down to business shall we? I don’t want to hear any faggety BS from you because you went ahead and legalized faggety BS! Yes? So don’t go all self righteous and uppity on me now… Women have the secret to younger skin and you know it. Creams and lotions! Nano-tech is involved now! Just look at these before and after pictures… You won’t believe my eyes!
You don’t want to sign your name by dipping your nipple in an ink well do you? Well exercise, diet and supplements may not improve your skin that drastically because there are places on our bodies where we don’t normally stretch our skin. So over time, our skin looses it’s elasticity, especially around the face and neck. Why? Because we, as men don’t use are facial muscles a lot, except to look stern and emotionless so the enemy won’t know what we’re thinking about. And what do we use our neck muscles for, but to turn and hold our heads up? Just look at what a little skin care can do!
Last Minute Reflections
Why it used to be that whenever I couldn’t tear myself away from the mirror, I would wink at myself and wave, and try to do things before the mirror catches me! Now, it’s a different story… I still can’t tear myself away from the mirror (I order in for meals in front of the mirror; most important what a handsome dog I am!
Anyway, now I make all kinds of faces in the mirror which not only makes me giggle, but it stretches out a group of 22 muscles that never get used! It only takes a minute or two, and I think you have a fair idea of how to do it… Obviously, if you pull your chin upward, your neck will stretch out, and so on for your face.
Women have the Right Reaction…
See how she moves around her flabby cheeks with disdain and disgust? I say massage your cheeks. The big ones too! That’s right! Stand up in your tub and vigorously flap your butt cheeks around. Notice how soft and unused they are? Hire a Bum Therapist if you have to, but get it done!
I cover my body (including my Glockenspiels) with 7 day moisturizer every time I take a bath, which is every 15 minutes… I also use Saint Ive’s new cleanser to get more dirt out of your pours than soap can. Finally, after producing enough steam to bring The Fire Department, I use a handy wipe with Vitamin E and Aloe Vera in it. Then I cook in a blast Furnace, for about an hour and a half, or until I’m nice and crispy. If that doesn’t work, try sand blasting your head :O)
Us men have to get with the program now and catch up to the women is all. Or do you prefer to try and pick up babes looking like a crumpled newspaper? No one need know (except the whole world here), unless you tell them. Buy the stuff in secret and if the Cashier looks at you funny, say it’s for your cat. Hide them from the enemy though (your wife) or Shirley, she’ll deplete your supply of feminine, nano-cosmetics… Just act naturally: ‘Aloe Vera! How are you?’ See how my face looks just like a babies bottom?