Things are People Too!

What’s with Things?

I remember when I was a boy of about 6 ish… And my body looked funny when I was small:  My legs curved outward, I had Popeye arms and bad eyesight, so I squinted all the time in sunlight.  I looked up at all these tall buildings, circa 1958.  Listen! To a six year old, 10 stories is gigantic.

It was kind of strange because I seemed to be able to feel their presence around me, as if they were living entities.  And in a way they were because of the people inside of them, but it was more than that.  Windows looked more like eyes to me, and in a way they were, because we may view from windows;  I could feel the Mantra or Manatee that each building possessed, feeling calm about some, and uneasy about other buildings.  And in a way, that’s true because some corporations are honest, and others are not.  Are you beginning to see where I’m going with this yet?  

Life is never what it seems.  The more ‘things’ we buy, the more we alienate ourselves from one another!  Prejudice is still alive and thriving.  Or why do we battle with other nations, and crowd them out on behalf of our own way of living?  Why are there still over 300 borders that separate one kind of people from another?  Everyone will speak English or be shot!  LOL!  If we must have one more thing to suck up our time, why can it not be an electronic language translator?

Let’s go Native…

Indian Chief

This is Chief Busted Wing, or something or other: ‘I told you I could stand here until I get a tan!’  That’s of no consequence.  What you do need to know is that Native Indians believe everything has a Manatee (spirit) attached to it, and that these Spirits can either support us or cause us trouble.  This is so, they believe, because they see some of the spirit of the person or persons that made the object, or ‘thing’.  So I know I have some support on this idea already; one day, all things made, will be conscious of itself, so there goes that theory that they’re only ‘things’…

So consequently, should you surround yourself with many things in your home?  A Naked Indian might conclude that we have too many things to influence and corrupt our lives!  Feeling themselves one with the wind, water and earth, and a little chilly sometimes, they at least respect the planet they live on!  That is, except for the ones who have followed the White Man (with a dark suntan, and his hat at a jaunty angle…) and became Airline Pilots, and Construction workers…   They bring shame on The Indian Nation!

They Developed New Laws of Their Own!

Like laws for mathematics:  ‘If you have 3 apples and I take 2 away, wouldn’t you call The Police’?

Indian Law: ‘If you kill another man’s dog, you buy him another dog!’

‘If you laugh with another man’s Wife, whole tribe will laugh with your Wife.  That way, whole Tribe is satisfied but your Wife!  We hope you find good place to lay your head.  <Hehehehehehe!’>

‘If Indian should go the way of The White Man, we all spit in your lunch bag before you left!  <Hahahahahahaha!>

‘An Indian must build his own Wig-Wom.  If you don’t remember Wig-Wom School, you must sleep standing on the rocks and twigs, disguised as tree!’  Henceforth, you will be known as: ‘Fake Tree, Standing on Rocks and Twigs!’ 

‘If an Indian woman must laugh with The White Man only, she must bring home five packs of Camels and twelve Ponies, drunk with Fire Water!  This way, we make half Indians entitled to half a Wig-Wom, and sometimes a night out at Yuck Yucks!’

‘If you are broke, here’s a potato…’

Caught Red Handed!


Here we have two Native Indians that were apprehended by two alert Siamese cats, who just happened to be wandering through the woods at the time!  As you can see, they are snorting coke through a tree trunk!

In Contusion

So I look around me now and see that although their customs may be a little different from The White Man only, we are all basically the same at heart.  We want what we want, and like any Hunter, we all celebrate when we get it…  No matter if we’re purple, pink or plaid,  don’t ever surround yourself with so many things, that you piss off Native Indians, they may just go on The War Path and take over Algonquin Park or something!  Maybe then, we’d get better rates…  I say: ‘Give the land back to The Native Indian, and start knitting our Wig-Woms!’  I’m thinking of a partition to park my tricycle…


7 thoughts on “Things are People Too!

  1. if they lived here they wouldnt be sniffing anything. we cant afford to do nothing. we eat expired stale food stale old ciggeretts no life outside my 4 walls. i hate this shithole planet and the way you only get to eat and live is to sell your soul otherwise its a life of waking up sittin on my bed all day everyday till i sleep in the same bed i sit on all god dam day long without good food coffee smokes and any life outside my 4 walls. i wish the lord would either bless us or end it. i had enough of this world theres nothing in it for me but a bed anbd 4 walls cant eat have a coffe or smoke a friggin ciggerette all god dam month i am sick of all of it. sitting here with nothing every day . im sick of everything i never get to have or enjoy a god dam thing on earth. i wish politicans had to live like i do but that will NEVER happen they are better off in the jungle sniffing through a tree root than living here in canada. our leaders dont give a god dam about poor people or helping us have anything in life. i wish the lord or blow up the earth and make a brand new one without politicans in charge and without money. theres nothing to live for or look forward to EVER! when you can barley pay rent and eat for a week then you sit here like a fucking zombie for 3 weeks out of the god dam month. EVERY MONTHH IS THE SAME NON STOP NOTHINGNESS. IM SO FULL OF NOTHINGNESS THAT IT HURTS. im sick of it.

    • No wonder there are still views here! I thought it was me. Get it? Hahahaha! on me! I know for a fact they’re trying to get rid of us! Come April 2015, there’ll be no more GST either. Health care, run by The Government… Poison air, poison water, poison food. It’s bad enough for two. You’re just you! And you have Chris to take care of as well :O(

  2. why can your lady let the madman in but you cant visit me? thats a double standard. i think strange things are afoot. i feel the shadyness goin on here. your lady spends a lot of time and effort on a man that her man doesnt want around. hmmmm weird and disrespectful to you my friend. i think theres a different house in her future besides yours if you see what im saying here. you and I are suckers for the the ppl that use other ppl. they deserve each other if you ask me. if my partner let someon in after i said no she could pack her bags and move to his place as far as im concerned.

  3. i cant beleive there will be no more GST that sucks they take away all of our life rafts and let us all drownd in poverty. what is going to happen to us without our life rafts? man they wont let us have any food clothes bus rides hair cuts marriages divorces pets or any thing. they want us all homeless and starving in Canada even after We have Stood on Guard for our her our whole lives..they dont know the song this land is our land this land is your land they just want us walking the streets homeless and hungry like zombies. then what no address means no drivers license no healthcare no vote no anything. wow my grandfather and grandmother would turn in their graves if they saw how the poor are treated these days. theres no hope left except for a happy eternity with God after were friggin dead. and thats only IF we are found worthy. gad dam there really is nothing left to live for in Canada. im so ashamed of my countrys leadership. i cant say im proud to be canadian anymore not with the leadership we had for the past too long. thanks harper and friends. god help us.

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