Nasty Dispositions

There’s Something in The Air!

I hear this all the time from people; that someone is sending radio signals through the air and that’s making us dance around like puppets, to somebody else’s command…  Do you mean a high pitched frequency that’s beyond the human range yet irritating to our minds so we all end up as a bunch of angry, ‘A’ holes.

Not it at all really.  We are being controlled already.  It’s called: ‘The Police Department’.  New ways just aren’t necessary, yet! For now, you’re watching too many Spy movies.  And if you really thought there were a camera in your TV set, watching your every move, why wouldn’t you just take your TV apart and remove the camera?  You’re not important enough to be watched.

Cop Callers! 

What’s the number for 911?  I’ll tell you what your number is.  Your number is ‘up’, if you don’t stop calling the Cops on people when you know we live in a Police State right now!  You’re playing a dangerous game!  These days, women get 5 to 10 years for slowly poisoning their husbands, while men get life for picking their noses!

Do you know what they do to Finks in Prison?  They stab them to death with a make-shift knife called:  ‘a Shiv’.  Do you not think that some of ‘them’ (Happy Prison Folks) aren’t wandering the streets as I speak?  Anyway, your real name is: ‘Rat!’

Back Stabbers!

‘They smile in your face!  And all the time they wanna take your place!  The Back Stabbers!’ – Sister Sledge and The Family Stone?  LOL!  How do you know that having my job, is such a good idea in the first place?  Stab me in the back, and you’re setting yourself up for a loosing game!  I’ll call The Police!  LOL!

Look!  There are all kinds of ways to belittle someone.  That’s easy…  Encouraging people to do better?  Now that’s a challenge!  Why not get with the picture and who knows, maybe then you’ll start stabbing people honestly; in the heart, like the rest of us do?

There’s a Sucker Born Every 15 Seconds!

Let’s face it!  For some of us: ‘There’s a ladder up to the attic but the light’s not working!’  “There’s an engine in the care, but where’s the steering wheel?’ ‘The writing’s on the wall, but it’s all in Greek to him!’

If I see you picking on just one more Prize Package, like me for example, I’m calling The F.B.I. (Fockers who Badger Idiots), and I’m going to lodge a complain to your superior!  I’ll tell them you’re reading a book called: ‘How to Sucker Smart People Too!’…  There’s a Sucker born every 4 seconds?  My Dog!

Hooligans!

We don’t bully or beat people up anymore!  We take all their clothes off and deposit them at Times Square ;O)  I know you just don’t like the look of some people’s faces.  You can still speak civil to them though, if you’d just put a bag over their heads…  Perhaps someone said something prejudicial toward you.  You’re Black and you’d feel perfecting justified trying to dip that white piece of bread in a glass of milk!  Their’s a better answer…  Paint his face black, give him white gloves and star him on Broadway ;O)  Someone is telling you off, and you don’t like it!  I have the solution.  Cover your ears!

Bitch Slappers!

Or is it: ‘Slippers’?  You lay one finger on her or threaten her with a single: ‘Get me a beer!’  You risk going to Jail, compliments of: ‘The Cop Callers’…  Some: ‘Serve and Protect’!  And some: ‘Swerve and Collect!’  I guess it concerns the extenuation of your circumstances at the time.  And if you’re a ‘known’ Bitch Slapper, you’re goin in anyway…  Start slapping the T.V.  It’s almost as pleasurable…

Door-knobs!

Have you ever met a person who won’t talk to anyone?  Do me a flavor, wood ya?  Nag at them!  They, like the rest of the entire world’s population, would eventually shrink, and disappear from that!  If he still won’t respond, keep going until you hear: <Pfffffffff!>

Look!  I know you’re not talking because the world stinks and everyone else is an idiot compared to you!  Well how’s about enlightening us with some of your genius?  Huh?  Eh?  Huh?  Eh?  Huh?

Manipulators!

Glue a piece of string between two pieces of wood in the shape of an: ‘X’…  Make two of them and thread the other ends through the shoulders of your sweater and tie knots.  Now stand in front of your Manipulator, pulling your arms up and down with your wooden X’s, say: ‘As long as you’re always making me give you stuff, why don’t you just take everything now so I can get rid of these stupid strings?’  If Manipulators are smart enough to run you without your knowledge, they most certainly could run a company.  Hmmmm?

Billionaires!

C’Mon!  Don’t be stingy now!  All I want is my share!  My fortune went down with The Titanic and I swear!  I had nothing to do with it!  Just a measly $200 Grand wood dew nicely…  I say, 200 grand wood…  WHY WON’T ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME???

Bosses!

This is your fault!  Nobody told you to go out and slave for some Tyrant paying you in wheat germ, for the rest of your natural life!  Establish a career!  Have a little faith in your own ability to succeed at just what you love to do!  OK?

No, you’ll never be a classy looking Farmer, outstanding in his field!  Follow the path less traveled and create a job.  That way, you can plan for low overhead, and zero competition, unless you blab!

Enablers!

‘IF THY EYE OFFENDS THEE, PLUCK IT OUT!!!’  Well, not literally!  What it means is, if you can’t withstand the temptation to drink wits-key, then hang around lemon-aid drinkers…  No!  Poachers!  No!  Green Peace!  No!  Just lock yourself in a room for a while, and behave yourself!  OK?  ‘Put that fork down!  It’s not worth it!  Martha (Russian), tie him down!  No!  Tie him up!  No!  Bind him!  Remember, it’s unstable to enable.  Or how about: ‘Don’t enable, one more Fable!’?

Serial Killers!

Please!  Don’t touch my Shreddies!  LOL!  This is a true story.  I once heard of a serial killing where the guy was found kneeling in a bath-tub full of Corn Flakes, and a banana shoved up his Ass!  This one obviously had a sense of humor.  I hope you’ll stag funnier and more exciting deaths for us in the future…  Don’t forget your Playtex gloves…  

Look!  They can’t help it, so there’s no sense in asking them to stop.  ‘STOP!’  See?  Nothin… When you pick your future victims, would you consider a little T.V. first?  Just so you can get to know each other.  And watch out for tricky escapee’s who just wanna buy time anyway.  Just thought I’d give you a little tip there.  You probably know that already.  I’ll shut up now :O(

Suckie Babies and Mommy Caudlers! (Stupid Dictionary)!

Hey!  If it works for you, it works for me…  All I’ve missed, is another Kodak moment.  <Sniff!>  Really, what could of been the shot on this month’s Time Magazine!  <Blubber!>  I could have been famous! <Drip…drip…>  WAAAAAAHHH!

It’s a big world out there!  So while you’re here, spread your wings and fly!  What ‘out there’ has to throw at you is for more tolerable than the way you feel right now…  And your Mommy too…  C’Mon, you’re 51!  Give her a break and find your own place to live… These are all set ups for Nasty Dispositions!

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7 thoughts on “Nasty Dispositions

  1. I guess I’m a bit literal. It wasn’t until the almost to last sentence ” What ‘out there’ has to throw at you is for more tolerable than the way you feel right now… And your Mommy too… C’Mon, you’re 51! Give her a break and find your own place to live” that I realized you were writing this tongue in cheek. Then I laughed.

    Well done!

    • It has brightened my day to know if I just made one person laugh, it was all more than worth it to me! Thank you so much for telling me K. Caffee! And someone with a voice that knows words! This is a Baptism! I must go sprinkle myself with holy tap water! I’ll be back when I’m pure! What a happy day!

      • ::Blushes, laughing:: Weaver of words, entrapment of minds. That is my calling when I am not out trying to provide helping and healing for others.

        Glad I could brighten your day as well.

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