I’ve got rants in my pants!
Why do I let so many things bother me? It’s because I do really care about the shear tonnage of CRAP people have to put up with. I also know, if it bothers me, it more than likely bothers you because these things are all ubiquitous to most people richer than rodents. I just feel that unless people complain, there’s no way of rectifying things that get mass produced and then become a nuisance to us! My bread comes out of my toaster the same way it goes in; untoasted! That’s the only setting it has! And the crumb trays won’t stay on, giving me a Cumby counter top! Why don’t they just come right out with it on the label: ‘Unworking Toaster for cheap person!’
Juicing makes me wanna Vomit!
It could be the three cloves of garlic I throw in cuz garlic is a strong irritant, and at the same time, providing a handy poison for the tip of your bullets. I’d guzzle down my massive soup bowl chocked full of everything on the planet that uses Chlorophyll. Then I go sit in my Easy-Boy and start to sweat profusely, accompanied by a strong, nauseous sensation. Then a start going: ‘AWWWK!’ ‘AWWWK!’
I did however, discover the secret to preventing juicing sickness. It works the same way when you take too much niacin, open up all of your capillaries, turn you red as a beet, and you itch all over your body! Yet it is relieved quickly, with a simple slice of whole wheat bread! So, as soon as you guzzle down your big, fat load of juice for the day, in just 2 short minutes, eat something with fibre in it! Like fruit! An apple and a 3 ton bag of grapes should do it. Well, just a few clumps really….
Pot has a mind of my own!
The psychological addiction to pot have profound and long reaching implications for me. It turns out I’m allergic to the stuff! Certainly, at first, I felt leaning over the bathroom sick gagging for an hour and a half was worth the mood enhancing effects of pot, but after years of it, you do become convinced else-wise. For one thing, it hampers my lung capacity when I exercise, resulting in my being unable to reach my full potential. I suppose I’m fortunate in some way, because all that mucus was also carrying what looked like slime covered carcinogens to me! Anyway, I’m now down to 9 tons a day, brought in by United Emirates Airlines… LOL!
When I do quit, and I’m almost psyched up for it now, I just feel it’s too soon after I quit drinking. You know how everybody says: ‘If you quit everything at once, you die of cleanliness!’ Well allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mud!
In the mean time, what I could do, is buy one of those vaporizers. They only give you the THC, and discard the carcinogens! They do cost about $200, but it might be worth it to begin saving my poor, tired, lungs right away! It’s just a band-aid for now. However, my endurance and stamina will definitely improve! And THAT, is another victory against aging so quickly… Holy Cow! (as opposed to an unholy Cow!), this has been a pretty productive rant all in all Kneel and pray to me!!!