The Top 10 Reasons to Avoid Fisticuffs:

    1.  What If You Don’t Know Who You’re Fighting?

    As it turns out, when I was 19  (Please God!)  Make me young again!  I know you can do it…), I got into a fight with this guy because I beat him in an arm-wrestling match, in front of his girl friend.  So while ‘Mr. Humiliated’, was looking for me, so I went and found him instead.  Turns out, he was a black belt Karate guy, and only hit me only in the stomach; And that’s how I got my Duodenal Ulcer; the duodenum attaches your stomach to your intestines.  It hurt more than being hit by a truck!  If so, I then asked him if he’d had enough?  And the look of surprise on his face was something to behold!   See, ya just don’t know.  They could be carrying a weapon…

    In the end, I cleaned his clock!  You should have seen it!  It was all full of dust!  The chimes were all out of key!  It needed a sanding and a new coat of varnish!  It was a mess!

    2.  What Does It Prove?

    It proves you’re a wimp and he/she is a Super Hero!  And what area does this cover, until a bigger Super Hero makes you polish his car?  What does it prove?  That you can become a wimp too, just because somebody else doesn’t like your face either?


    It Could Be That You’re Just Too Touchy!

    Burton Cummings from ‘The Guess Who’ tells us:  ‘Stand tall!  Now don’t you fall!  All you’re feeling right now, is silly, human pride!’  Walk away!  If he hits you anyway?  Call The Police and put him/her in jail.  Then if you’re attacked again by the same person, The Police will fully understand you were just defending yourself…

    4.  What If You Should Accidently Kill Someone?

    You might feel that’s not likely…  That good of a Physicist eh?  What if one day, you are so enraged that you just keep hammering on someone until they’re dead…  Now you’re going to jail for life!  Oh great!  That solves everything!  Let’s involve the innocent while we’re at it…

    5  What If You Should Get Killed As An Act Of Retaliation?

    His third cousin, once removed, knows a guy, who knows a guy, who’s entirely Sicilian, belonging to the notorious Donut Family!  And he only charges $500!  Your Serial Killer is always on Holyday, and he wants your house as payment…  Is it really worth your house?  Buy a shovel and bury your Grudge!  Be sure and chloroform him first!

    6.  Those Who Seek Vengeance, Should Start Out By Digging Two Graves!

    It is certainly true that those who live by the sword, shall die by the sword!  It’s symbolic though, and covers many other things than swords.  Don’t look for trouble in the first place.  It will find you soon enough!  ‘Vengeance is mine Sayith Sylvester Stallone!’  You watch too much TV!  Have faith that in the end, God will make everything right;  Through Christ, The world has already been conquered for you!

    7.  There’s So Many Other Ways To Vent Your Anger:

    Get a Popeye Punching Bag, and pretend it’s Hillary Clinton.  I run to relieve stress.  Get back into sports; it has the added advantage of social interaction that’s slimy, but satisfying!  Now you can turn in your Godzilla suit for some fancy Jersey with your name on it!  Kick the cheeses out of your fridge!  Continually stab the kitchen counter, ‘til you make a crater.  Whack the garbage can lid against your head until you see more flies than are really there…  Shoot yourself in the knee.  Then say: ‘See what you made me do?’

    8.  What if I Just Plain Don’t Like People?

    Become a Hermit!  Live in the wilderness like Jeremiah Johnson did;  There, you will find great challenges to your strength and courage!  Look!  A lot of people channel these kind of things into their work;  Become a Demolitions Expert, and blow stuff up!  That’s always a hoot!  Try Hang-gliding.  That should make you crap your pants, just like in a real fight!

    9.  If You’re Psychotic, Why Aren’t You Seeking Treatment?

    Taking the proper medication for your condition, does NOT mean that you are weak!  Nor will it turn you into a lobotomized Zombie Drone!  It      does mean that you are sick though.  A better way to describe it, is that you are in torment, unable to control your moods or actions.  The Meds will help you to see and think clearly again, that’s all!  You only like your rage because you’ve gotten used to it!  Life will be much more balanced for you on the Meds.  You’ll just have to take my word for that.

    10. Practice Staying Calm.  It Will Be Harder For You To Get Worked Up!

  • At first it’s difficult to discipline yourself due to force of habit, a very powerful influence!  So you won’t succeed entirely, right away…  Give it time though, and it will become as natural for you to remain calm, as it did to become angry…  Don’t let people tell you want to do.  It does make sense to do what’s right for yourself, before the life you live now can change.


5 thoughts on “The Top 10 Reasons to Avoid Fisticuffs:

    • Hi Mockingbird: Satan is taking over my keyboard now… If I want to write the contraction for it is, say… I get this instead: itès. So when I hit the apostrophe key, I get that funny little e with a accent. All my emotions except my exclamation mark, have turned Greek somehow. I may have to reinstall the silly thing. I can not ask you how you are because my question mark looks like this… É. There could be a ghost in the machine…

      • I see. Hope it’s fixed now. That can be quite irritating just like our poor internet connection here in this island. Takes time to make replies. Have a blissful week ahead!

    • I know. One grave is yours. How could you possibly fit into two graves… I take it then, that you are not the vengeful type. I am pleased to make with your acquaintance seeker! It is just suppose to mean that vengeance belongs to God and not to us. His form of justice, is more efficient than ours.

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