Tempting Fate

The Dare-Devil within

What are the odds of surviving? 

    I have to tell you the truth, the odds are not in your favour!  Let’s face it, our world is full of people who make mistakes all the time.  There are others who just like to kill people; it’s there idea of ‘A good time!’  Or you yourself could be off kilter the day you’re planning to parachute to Earth from space.  First, you turn into a popsicle, and then you black out.  Then you wake up on fire, pull out your fire extinguisher and find it locked.  So you pull you Shute and watch it go sailing away.  Then you pull your spare chord, and just find a note on the end of it that says: ‘Have a nice day!’

skydiving-group

Look at the picture above.  Within that lot, there’s bound to be at least one sneak, two killers (If the pot is big enough), and they’re probably all liars; this was probably the only way they could find to get away from their obligations below.  And it only looks like the four in the middle really know what they’re doing.  The rest may have just agreed for the first time they agreed to, while they were bombed at a Pyjama Party!

How would I get my thrills then?

    Good question, and a fair one!  And one fairly safe way is through sex; your heart starts pumping fast, your feet start to twitch…  I won’t go into too much detail  You’d just wanna try sex while flying! (Timing is everything!)  Driving with the pedal to the medal!  Now put your 10 speed bike in first gear and watch how fast you go!  Isn’t this a hoot?

See, we may be conceptualizing such sports all wrong!  If we’re dropping from space, shouldn’t we be in a big see through bubble, so we can just bounce home when we’re through?  LOL!  You don’t want to come home looking like this do you?

vampire

What does our God Robo-cop have to say about it?

Stay out of trouble!

    Look at what happened to Evil Con-Feeble!  That man must’ve broken every bone in his body.  Think of The Arthritic pain heal go through later, if he doesn’t hire someone to follow him around with a morphine drip…  It can equitably argued that cars are technically unsafe!

Model-T-Fords

So take my sound advice; lock your doors, take the phone off the hook, sit on your couch all day drinking beer, and watching Monday night Football…  If you want to travel without effort, use an Ostrich; They also provide an egg salad lunch, and practically runs on bird seed!  At least they keep the speed limit and follow the rules of the road!

Ostrich-230

Just look at how the Ostrich waits for the vehicle to come to a complete stop, before he crosses the road!

AutoWallpaper2 

A Giraffe is worth considering for a higher view of the road.  Just attach your head-lights to those to little horns sticking out of the top of his head there…  A zebra might serve as a nice compact; the pigmentations and permeations are endless!  And if that’s not thrilling enough, I dunno.  Drive a Buffalo to work…  Be careful though!  I hear they get horny!I think I’m just trying to say ‘DO NOT’ temp fate; Sooner or later, the one time will arise when you will loose the role of the dice, and come out of it looking like this!

jello

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