One small step for Man
And then he falls flat in the moon dust! That was quite the leap for Mankind as far as 1969 was concerned. What did they leave behind? A flag and some foot prints. An alien might only think we have unusual feet! Couldn’t we have left something more important to play with? Like a chemistry set? A petrel station would have been nice. They didn’t even build a sand castle :O(
The problem is payload
We think much to big! Think how far I could go, with just something big enough for me and my lunch? Chemical rockets are fine for burning up dollars! And, if we could even launch something big enough to carry that much fuel, I wouldn’t reach our nearest star system for about 400,000 years; I’d have to keep up on my vitamins if I hope to arrive there with time enough to set up my tent.
We now can use plasma; a much more efficient fuel for long distance space travel. And guess what it’s made from? ??? Time’s up. Distilled water! I give you my word as both a Con Artist and a Mentalist, it’s true! What they do, is heat the molecules up to a million degrees, mix them with ions, and hocus pokus, you now have ‘Ion power!’
It moves you forwards very slowly at first, yet keeps picking up speed. You’d pass Mars in 30 days, Neptune in 80 days! You’d eventually reach 99.9 % the speed of light, and would only have to wait 2.3 million years… No problem. I would be frozen in suspended hibernation; only being thawed out, for milk and cookies…
Finding Planet X
Of corpse I’d need some kind of homing beacon to find a suitable planet in Andromeda, to take off my shoes (Made from genuine Saskatchewan, seal, skin bindings), and my thermal socks, and leave my real footy prints on some giant sized Earth I’d have all to my self! I’d name it Earth 2… Heck, all I need, is a big jug of distilled water, a blast furnace and a seatbelt. I’ve always wanted my own home planet! Might find strange, new, Do Do’s there!
How would I concentrate my search?
Below, is a picture of Andromeda, and it’s two satellite galaxies, my destination. Of corpse I would have to come back with a few Polaroids (Made in Arizona), to prove I was there… I’ll bring you back a double sun set (Made in Photoshop). Look. All I need is a million dollars to finance the trip, and possibly pick up some donuts on the way. There are over 30 million people on WordPress! All I need is for one million of you to send me a dollar. Just think. You’d be investing in a real, live, guinea pig!
In our own galaxy, we are much further out on a spiral arm, making average distances between them of about 4 light years. In Andromeda, I would head further in, where stars are only spaced about 1 light year apart. Then I could take my pick! Be reasonable… I really feel like going on a trip… You could be sure that my prints would be unmistakably human. And, you’d be getting your money’s worth! I’m a size 13! They did the Moon thing all wrong!