Just look at that glowing smile!
I watched this movie: Mr. Sardonicus (1961)
I was 11 at the time, and it scared the living
daylights out of me! Then it came on TV again,
when I was 45 or something. And I can’t explain
why, but it just made me laugh!
I mean, things you don’t notice as a child because
you’re petrified anyway. Even though, you want a
glass of water, you won’t go into that dark kitchen
with the light switch on the opposite wall from the door, because he could be lurking there in the
dark, just waiting for you to turn on the light so you can see he hilarious grin! So you just sit there thirsty, clutching the arms of your chair! And why is his nose so big?
She’s screaming: ‘WHY DIDN’T SOMEBODY CALL FOR A DENTIST’? LOL! Instead, they had this Doctor
come in to massage his face all day, in futile hope of relaxing his contorted, facial muscles.
For weeks on end, he would try to physically un-contort his face without success, (a common result among
Quacks)! And feather more, do you think by screaming, he my get scared and run away?
He’d probably just say: ‘FFFWHAT’S SA MATTA WIT OOO?’ I won’t get into the entire story’
There is however, another kooky mistake, I wouldn’t have questioned at all when I was 11…
I’m not just sure if that was his name or his affliction? He didn’t scar me though! He just seamed like a friendly
old country Doctor Cyclops, that put leaches on all the women that Mr. Sardonicus rejected. (Who says money can’t buy me love?) And he would
laugh at all the womens screams as he did it too! And of
corpse he would. Leaches are good for you! They suck harmful toxins out of your body, so he was only making them healthier. How scary can that be? I somehow don’t think they reasoned this film through well. The
plot was interesting during the first 20 minutes, and went straight down hill from there. Must have been a tight budget. That’s why I’m giving this movie a C minus… More humorous than spine chilling. Dah! So why the
big smile? Well look at all the gorgeous women Eye-Gore brought back! He was quite the charmer for a cyclops! Wooden you say? WHOOOOHAHAHAHA!
P.S. Sorry about the weird formating. My ‘Poster-child’ isn’t co-operating with me today.