Will that be Greyhound or Ostrich?


A Day at the Races…

I know you like your car!  We all like our cars…  I’m talking about us adapting to a whole new way of life; look at the guy on the lead Ostrich.  Wouldn’t you rather arrive at work looking like him?  Think of it!  These babies are clocked at 60 miles per hour!  And that just so happens to be the speed limit on most highways.  You don’t need to put gas in them.  You can if you want to, but they’ll leak..  The maintenance is bird seed compared to a regular car.  And they lay eggs; what a refreshing, and nutritious lunch!  FREE!  Oh!  Did I mention down filled seating, and 180 degree visibility, permanent chasse and wheel base?


Not all Ostriches are completely co-operative.

Just like buying a car, you’ll have to be careful over which Ostrich you choose…  As you can see, this one absolutely refuses to comb his hair!  In this case, you have to hold your struggling, rebellious Ostrich down, and try to juggle a hair dryer at the same time.  Not a good idea.  Better to get a co-operative Ostrich, proud of its plumage, and doesn’t give you the evil eye, like this one.


Ostriches are talented too!

They can sing: ‘She loves you yeah yeah yeah yeaaaaaah!’  Picture the wonderful music they’d bring to your parking lot, day, after day, after day…  It would be a great way to call the kids home for dinner, while Buffalos graze on your front lawn, saving the necessity of buying a gas guzzling, lawn mower.  Just watch out for the big, brown, Hockey pucks!


Ostriches can sometimes be shy…

Even in pairs…  I know what they’re thinking.  They’re thinking if they bury their heads you won’t see them…  There is an answer to this problem when your going to be late for work, and have to get your Ostrich out of it’s shyness…


Brute force!

I know it seams like a lot of trouble, but it means a cleaner environment for everyone…  They’re Horney too!  Who needs a security system with these guys protecting your property?  Huh?  Eh?


Ostriches know traffic and pedestrian rules…

I think the facts here speak for themselves!  I may not have engineered some mega-marvel here, but you have to admit, it’s a Heck of a plan!  A real Heck of a plan!  And they don’t break down in the middle of no-where.  Enough popcorn, and they’ll get you home!


It’s up to us all to make a better world!

Think on it…  I know it’s a difficult decision, so take your time.  If you can come up with a better, more exciting way to clean up our environment, let me know.  Mean while, don’t get your feathers ruffled!  IT’S JUST A SUGGESTION!


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