Early morning, two days ago, I got up, and Leslie (Klutz numero uno!), informs me, somewhat brightly, that she had been shopping, and I should check out the goods… “I got you your milk!” she quipped. So the first thing I check is my milk. I drink regular carnation milk, and she bought me three cans (which I shall have to pay for), of 2% carnation milk… This is unforgivable, because this is not the first time this infringement upon absolute peace and quiet has occurred…
So she says: “I’ll take it back…” And I said: “Well I can’t drink this or I’ll brake out in purple spots! “ So. as she’s going out the door, I shout after her, “GRAB SOME BACON AND EGGS TOO WILL YA?” She mumbled something to herself, and took my car, the two minute ride to The Supermarket. When I say “bacon”, I mean “Turkey Bacon” because I know it’s low in fat. She she comes back with fatty chicken bacon; she said: “It was on sale.” So I said: “If rat poison was on sale, would you have bought that too?”
The Next Day
My two friends, Marcus Lascivious Crassus and Bone-Head stopped by early, at noon… That’s early for me… I had just spent all night tending to a sick computer; I put Vicks Vapor-rub on it, and also, chicken bacon; The poor thing had a virus!
So we go over to Marcus’s house and we started to jam out… No wait. First, as you probably don’t recall. our bass player: Albert (Two Dogs) broke my $4000 acoustic guitar, and today, Marcus just broke my electric guitar; And these are the two guys who said I was a Klutz and was gonna brake something. Who broke what? So, a Klutz brought me over to his house, to cheer me up, broke my guitar, and then went to bed…
I want a Lawyer!
Look. It’s not as though I’m unreasonable… Why is it though that people seam to blame you for what they do wrong? Are they trying to get away with something? LOL! So, in answer to the question: “What’s a Klutz?”, I think you know… How do you sue a Klutz though? They defy all physical laws! Is there a Lawyer in the house?