Froggy and Me…

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Oh, I know the difference between illusion and reality, and I’m telling you, FROGGY IS REAL!  We met one day (about 20 years ago), just by chance really.  I was rummaging around in a discount store, and there he was, looking right at me, as you see in this picture here…  It looked like someone had abandoned him.  So I took a quick look around, no one was there.  So I picked up Froggy and that was it!  I had to have him!  Bought from slavery for $1.27, I nurtured and groomed him into the frog he is today!  We share our “Pad”, and though he’s found no singing job yet, he’s really no trouble, so I let him stay for FREE!

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He was so soft and friendly…  You know. your touchy feelie kind of frog.  Always polite, and only speaks when he’s spoken to; he doesn’t complain all day about me like that women’s group born in the 60’s: “Women’s Lip.”  Froggy is not like that.  He never gives me orders!  He doesn’t ever yell at me!  Nor does he ever slap my face, or threaten or ignore me.  And I only have to see him when I want to!  What better companion could I possibly ask for?

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There was the time some prankster put real Doo-doo in Froggy’s under garment!  So I Emmm… I had to punish him severely, for not sticking up for himself and allowing himself to be disgraced this way!  So I had to rivet him to the floor (“Rivet, rivet!”), and yes, it was a possible assault charge, but this time, Oooo!  I was so angry, I momentarily lost my composure.  Lucky for Froggy, he had yet to croak!  I guess he will never really grow up, but who ever does? 

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No.  Usually, when Froggy commits an infarction, or plays cardiac arrest, I give him a time out, by telling him not to move from this chair until I tell him to; I shouldn’t be telling you this, but sometimes I leave him there for weeks at a time!  Gosh I hope The Police don’t get wind of this….  Anyway, I know this hurts Froggy, but now, he will never break wind when I come to pick him up again!  I will not tolerate disgusting displays from inanimate objects!  One time, I made three sausages stand in the corner for spitting at me!  Usually we go everywhere together, Froggy and Me; shopping, a fun trip to the bank, and the occasional outing to the park.  Yes I love our times together.  Just: Froggy and Me…  Forever friends…

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