I’m sure you feel you’ve done some pretty horrendous jobs in your life. I know I have. I used to work for Chairman Mills (a party outfit). It was no party for me though. These people were like ants! They’d lift four (4) 8 ft. long tables, hold ten steels chairs on one arm, and 10 on the other… We had to roll these big round tables off the truck 5 at a time and keep them all in synchronization, or you’d end up in the middle of all these faltering tables, and you literally get beat up by them. Those who could do 4 were respected though. I could only do three… I was ill coordinated from birth. OK? Weird job though; 14 hours a day, 6 days a week? I thought I was being punished for something I did wrong.
Well, if you think you’ve done some unlikable jobs, try some of these on for size:
Yes that’s correct. Volunteers eat certain foods, label the bottles, and then fart on them, putting the lid on quickly… Now that fart will stay fresh forever that way. You can fart in an air tight car in 1989, come back to it in 2003, and that fart will still be there, fresh as ever.
Dog food tester
You know how, when you were a kid, you always wanted to know what dog food tastes like? While I succumbed to the temptation. I didn’t slop down Gravy Train or anything gross like that. It was just a dog cookie. Yet still, it was bland and tasteless, and just really crumbly! It just shows to go ya, dogs will eat anything!
Now there’s a job; sitting around waiting for boats all day so you can pull a lever… They should have stipulated: “Must have Kindergarten Diploma!” He’s have to be checked annually for a pulse!
No. It’s not a Rapist in a chicken costume, though I’m sure that would be absolutely dreadful… What it is, it’s a conveyor belt full of baby chicks parading by you. Your job is to toss the female chicks in one box and the male chicks in another. I think: Chicken Genital Inspector would be a little more to the point.
Lifeguard at Nude Beach
“WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE? FOR THE FORTH TIME NOW, I’M NOT DROWNING!” It begs the question: “Do the Lifeguards have to disrobe as well?” I’d imagine so, or he might make the nudists feel uncomfortable.
They place and animals head on a table, crack open the skull and take out the brain; It’s considered a delicacy in some countries. Not in Canada though. It’s been a long time since I’ve been offered a mouse head meal.
I guess they just follow around rich people with their dogs and clean up their doo-doo for them. Another job full of crap… Seems we like to ovoid the stinky and the repulsive smell of doo-doo; unless it’s our own. Then it’s OK…
Now this one makes me giggle! I can just imagine chasing ants all day… Oh for joy! LOL! Well you didn’t think they’d sell kids empty ant farms do ya? Someone has to go get the ants. I hope it’s not piece work!
Golf Ball Diver
One Golf Ball Diver collects 3000 balls per day, lost in ponds, in the woods, buried in sand traps… They refurbish them and resell them to non-suspecting Golfers. So the golf ball you buy today, may be your own yesterday.
High-rise Window Washer
It just begs the question: Exactly how much Windex is there in the world anyway?