The Black Hole

Have you ever gotten that feeling like you’re in a race with a broken leg?  I’m like a caterpillar, tripping over my own shoe laces; there’s too much racing through my mind all the time.  Today, I feel so bad, I get this feeling like I’m being sucked down into a black hole!  It’s this constant motion of a shrinking feeling.  That’s the best way I can explain it.  It’s accompanied by nausea so, not comfortable at all for me right now.

I see myself as such a tiny insignificant thing, that I pop in and out of awareness sometimes.  I’ll just sit and stare for the longest time, as though I’m in some kind of cataleptic state.  I sit here picking at some dead skin on my hand thinking how everything atrophies.  You, your house, a tree, everything is deteriorating into a state of oblivion.  Is this because of things all receding from each other in space, or is it my mood trying to take me over?

King Solomon himself said: “Of all things under the sun, I have found the only true porpoise of life, is to eat, drink, and be Mary…”  Sometimes it’s tough just being human.  I’ve lost all will to succeed.  It could be something as simple as the weather.  It’s been dripping out all day.  I’ve given up on my nutrition; been stuffing myself for the last three (3) days with nothing but tea and oatmeal raisin cookies.  Mmmmm!  I’m addicted to them or something!  I can’t sleep, then when I do, it’s for 14 hours and I get up looking like the walking dead, so I wander about the house like some ghost looking for a way out.  I’ve lost all interest in running.  I’m going to loose my health if I don’t snap out of this soon!  I need a tea…

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