Hi! My name is: ‘Stupid’, and it should be that, because all of Mankind only knows 5% of our oceans, and we live here! I see many people hustling about their business, but very few of them are in scuba suits! Why? We have become the total sum of a world in which thinking has very little to do with our daily routine. In fact, I will go so far as to say that we are creatures of routine, creatures of routine, creatures of routine! Sorry! I got caught a loop there…
If I could sum up just one word that would make us all more capable bloggers, that word wood bee: ‘Curiosity’… C’Mon! It’s cousin is: ‘Get me into trouble!’ LOL! Where has our spirit of adventure gone? We have forgotten the five ‘W’s’ of journalism: ‘What, where, why, when and whack off…’ To think on something, we need to explore. If we find for example, that life leads to a futile process of decay, pain and death, I might develop the opinion: ‘THAT REALLY SUCKS MAN!’
So look at that! That title for a really good blog has just materialized out of thin air: ‘THAT REALLY SUCKS MAN!’ And why? It solicited an emotional response. And that’s the secret, is to get yourself all worked up first!
So listen up! I’m a Depresoid so knowledge isn’t really a good idea for me! And I can’t go getting all stirred up with emotions! Knowing people really stinks too! I’m really scared of my own shadow. ‘What was that?’ Oh… It’s OK… It was only my own shadow… In fact, STAY AWAY FROM ME! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING! GO AWAY! LOL!
Footnote: Put this picture on a page the same color as the one The Clown is ripping through, and it makes for a great piece of stationary :O)
Oh that really bugs me!
Some sayings are so stupid, and meaningless! For instance: ‘A stitch in time saves nine…’ Nine what? chestnuts? And you treat time like a garment of some mathematical kind! And why do we need ten fingers? Won’t one or two get you into enough trouble as it is? Ga ahead, (New York for ‘Go ahead) hold your fingers up and wiggle all your fingers in front of you… Don’t you get confused? OK, I’m a little stoned. Grrrrr!
Besides, I like saving time. And when I tried to tell Leslie, she completely rejected the idea! I told her how I never button or unbutton my shirts, but just treat them like pull-overs, and I save time that way. She said it was a law to here to do up and undo her buttons, and that I should be ashamed of myself for rejecting a time-honored tradition, insisting the law is the law, and she can’t break it now… Completely illogical, yet it seems normal to her. So God DOES punish me!
Was it destiny, or just plain after-shock?
I suppose Leslie does have some kind of fruitless point, yet my concerns for her, are that if she can’t accept practical, yet simply innovative instructions, then I must conclude she is an illogical creature, while I continue to bang my head against a wall… I now have access to my neighbour’s fridge! LOL! Those who cannot change will die! OK, I admit I can’t stop eating Carmel pecan yogurt ice-cream. But that’s different! That’s a creamy and tasty way to go!
Multi-tasking is a good way to save a stitch in nature’s pink tu tu… Whatever… I can do the dishes, watch TV, and cut my finger off with a butcher knife! OK, I’m slightly delusional… Just yesterday I tried to open a tin of condensed pony milk, with a dull can-opener. It didn’t quite do the job, so while I was trying to pull the lid off, it suddenly gave way, I cut my finger, and accidentally elbowed my fridge! After that, as you can well imagine, I kicked the living cheeses out of my fridge while blood squirted everywhere: it looked just like a horrendous crime scene. Now I had a sore foot to go along with my sore elbow and the minor problem that I was bleeding profusely. My pinky really needed a couple of stitches, but I thought about all that bother faking death at the Hospital, just so they’ll take me first! If not, perhaps 50 cents will persuade them!
So I poured some hydrogen peroxide over it, and wrapped in up in a roll of toilet paper, applying pressure until the bleeding stopped. Then I wrapped like 10 band-aids over it. Today, I’m all white, my heart has stopped beating, and I have this strange craving for blood, and to quickly find a coffin my size, that comes in burgundy, and must smell like men’s cologne! I’m sure I’ve saved over 500 years, and I’m not even 63 ’til next month… Hint: I wanna Choo Choo train, a microscope and an all expenses paid trip The Caribbean. I also want my Mummy! I plan to model her in my livingroom. Then I think shock treatments would save me some time. Don’t you? Sometimes I think I’m starving, and I can hardly close the refrigerator door… OK, I’ll tell you about my home planet :O(
I know I’ve seemed a little distant of late… In fact, I often wander to a place that looks completely unfamiliar, just to get away from it all! Sometimes I’ll even put a ‘WARNING: Radioactive’ sign on my front door, lock myself in the bathroom, and curl up in the sink! The problem is being able to unfurl!
It’s just that lately, I’ve developed halitosis, and a terrible skin rash, so I’d rather keep to myself… Yes age has taken its tole on me! I think I’m losing weight in my face! One good thing though. I still get horny on Humpday!
I sometimes find myself with the odd, fully armed Insurance Agent… Other than that, I still have my ruins to be comfortable in. Have to learn to curb that temper of mine! As you can see, my body is becoming spotty and my nails are getting long. There comes a time when one must consider their own mortality…
So I wrote out my: ‘Last Will and Anthrax’… Now, I know what you’re going to say: ‘You Twit! You don’t have to consider that for at least another 3 months!’ I know what I’m doing! OK… Maybe that’s disputable in a Court of Law! But here in my Den, I must go by the law of my evil twin…
I know some of you think of me as a bit of a snake at times… That’s not true! This picture was taken 30 years ago! Anyway, thanks for being my: ‘Internet friends!’ I truly depreciate everything you’ve done for me! Until our next venerable meeting… Toodle Ewww…