Tennis Elbow Anyone?

A Backward Update…

    You know how I’ve been telling you how we do everything backward? : For instance, Iceland is green, and Greenland is ice…  Go figure.  This is why I’m bringing you this update between  Milos Roanic and Roger Federer, at The South Western Open, which for me, was about a weak back.  So why do they call it The South Western Open when it’s held in Ohio, a northern state in the east?  Anyway, The U.S. Open starts tomorrow…


Milos likes to taste the ball before he hits it.  What bothers me is why in the second and third sets, he consistently hit his first serve into the net?  And I mean, every single one, just about…  And why he went from 6-2 in the first set, to 6-3 in the second set, to 6-0 in the third set?  Whatever made him think he could rally with Federer?  He should have power shot his way through like he always does, but failed to keep it in the court!  Backwards!  That’s all I have to say about it…

Here Comes The Fun Part!

My best friend Bonehead, or Antonius as you know him, and I, each bought a ‘Wilson’ (They’re the best!) graphite tennis racket from our country’s poverty stricken Thrift Store for $10 each!  And mine even has a cover!  Yes I know I’m sixty two and have a bad back and so does he, and this whole thing is backwards…

And as I ran by the park, what do I see in the very back, but two Tennis Courts open to anyone and always deserted!  So I’m not only doing this to prove to my community that yes indeed, we do want a couple of free Tennis Courts, but to prove to you that you can open up a whole new world, just by trying to be healthy!  And being healthy, is the best thing you will ever do for yourself, guaranteed!  I read books!  LOL!

It’s also because I’ve given you instructional posts in the past about how to exercise alone.  Well here’s a way to exercise with others, and have fun at it too!  Hours will pass without you even being aware, you’re standing in a puddle of your own sweat, waiting for a serve.  I have never played Tennis in my life, but I’m willing to give it a shot.  Just one shot. Then I’ll probably get Tennis Elbow and go home…


Rant # 16,622

Cats Order Me Around!

I have two grey cats; ‘Waffles’, a 50 year old female (in cat years), and a Nineteen year old male named: ‘Smokey’…  You can see how there might be a bit of a generation gap to begin with.  In the past, Waffles has exhibited some very possessive behaviour.  Sometimes Leslie, because ‘Sage’ (a feline cat we no longer have with us), for who Leslie thinks one of our evil neighbours killed her execution style, yet I am of the opinion that Sage was getting rather chubby, and was probably just hit by a car, and swept up by a careless, Janitor.), can’t re-establish a relationship with Waffles,  cuz she watches a lot of TV.  OK?  So I take care of both the cats needs, including the germ attraction, litter box!  Really, I’m a dog person!  An occasional Ostrich would be cule!

Anyway, the only ways you can tell the difference between them now, is by Waffle’s pathetic, moan of a meow, and Smokey has rings on his tail, but a nice glossy coat, cuz I feed him Whiskies!  Smokey must have his daily scatchings from me, or will let me know by standing rudely to my left, and meowing constantly, in a loud, demanding tone, until I must give in, and stop the whining now, before I go nuts!  If he wants out, it’s a soft meow while he circles my legs looking for mice, or he just craws in through the permanent hole in the bedroom screen.  I can’t fix it, cuz he just makes a new hole! 

On the other hand, Waffles hates Smokey, and only comes in to eat, always hissing at Smokey who has since even swatted her butt for mouthing off!  So, on rainy nights, I find myself at the front door, calling her name to no avail, only to have her knock on the door with that dismal whine of hers.  My cat is loved and playful and healthy.  Leslie’s is sick, skinny, and depraved, and blatantly refuses any attention at all.

I told Leslie, that unless she finds some way to make friends with Waffles again, Waffles will just die outside when the winter hits, or even before, with the cold and rain of the fall.  It’s do use though.  It’s like talking to her cat: in one ear, and out the other…

Police Brutality Toward Men!

I just saw on T.V. about The Paul Burnarardo and Carla Hamoka case.  Not only did Carla admit to participating in the murders of three teenage girls they  sexually assaulted and killed them, including her own sister. They had the whole freakish, thing on Video!  Yet Paul got life, and Carla got 12 years, and is walking out amongst us as I speak…  I watch a lot of those sick and disgusting shows and nearly every time, they are released early to romp and play with other unsuspecting victims while the males all rot in prison!  I’ve been stung by it myself; not as a criminal, but an innocent stand by, just in case the real criminal doesn’t show up… Is there something wrong with this picture?  Or is it hypnotic, fem, Fay-tell, charms, and good looks?  Or perhaps it’s that men just wanna have fu-un?  Men just wanna have fun!  That’s all we really want!  Most men in a position of authority, and power are hideous toward me, cuz right away they think: [Scaramouch!  Scaramouch!  He’s just a poor boy from a poor family!   Let him go!  Awk no Mam!  We will not let him go!]


I’ve seen you out there at night with your hoods on so nobody can see your faces, traveling in packs, like a bunch of hungry chipmunks!  You should be ashamed of yourselves, stealing candy from babies!  One of these days, I’m going to give you a free meal, just to show you how low you are!  That aught a teach’m!  And no video games for two weeks!  You do realize, you’ll have to be honest with me and do this part on your own…  Thank you in advance, Young Whipper Snappers…

What you see as a poor, stupid senile,, old bag, is not poor!  OK?  I know it’s so easy to just run by, steal her purse, and be confident that she won’t notice until she gets home to unlock the door.  Can’t you Ruffians see how pathetic, and helpless this senile, old bag really is?  Aside from taking her money, you’re also ‘getting off’ on her inhaler, and pricking unsuspecting fat, old men for a Diabetes test, and thinking it funny when they test positive!  Have you no human decency?  Can you not at least bring rubbing alcohol, and band-aids with you?  Taking her heart pills for the rush!  Using her hearing aid to scare the dog?  When we were young, we would actually swing a cat, rolled up in a sheet, tighter and tighter, until it began to squirm!  And then we’d take Polaroid’s, and laugh our guts out!   Since, I’ve learned my lesson, and stick to only crippling insects.

Holistically Tying One On (Part 3)


What a word: ‘Diet’!  I’ll bet most people over 30 cringe, and cower into a corner exclaiming: ‘I can’t diet!  I tried, and it only made me hungry!  LOL!  Proper diet doesn’t have to mean starving to death; a diet primarily comprised of fruits, vegetables and grains produces a state of greater alertness after you eat!  Where-as, a diet comprised primarily of meats, starches and junk food, make you sleepy, lethargic! 

Fruits and vegetables

Having Your Cake and Eating It Too…

I cheat sometimes…  I really used to crave: ‘cake and milk’.  Maybe once a week or so, I’ll treat myself to a bowl full!  That’s OK, as long as you don’t make it a habit.  Another thing I missed was ice-cream;  even that I’m allergic to it…  I now use frozen yogurt instead, and I’m back in ice=cream heaven, without the fat of cream, and yes, it still has a bacterial culture…

I thought I would have to sacrifice spaghetti and meat sauce because I didn’t like the idea of hamburger meat; contributing to all those farts.  It’s not right!  Besides which, turkey contains serotonin, which will still give you that dopey feeling we’ve all come to know and love…

I used to love the taste of butter!  Becel Margarine tastes a lot like butter.  I use the half the fat of real, low in fat Becel margarine!  Avocados’ taste a lot like butter too me thinks.

Going Nuts on Bread!

Bread will kill you faster than you can inflate a tire.  There are breads that are good for you now though.  I eat 12 grain bread because it has 12 grains and it helps me to pinch a loaf, like clockwork every morning. 

As for nuts?  Peanut butter has resveritrol in it, which, it is said, has anti-aging properties!  So does purple grapes. You’d have to eat about 88 jars of peanut butter and 200 clusters of grapes for it to have any appreciable effect.  Almonds are good for your heart, and wall-nuts are good for your brain.  Don’t get those tins of mixed nuts; too much salt.  BTW, I use sea salt.  It’s also good for clearing sinuses in solution.  Nuts, seeds and grains should be included in a healthy diet…



Why is it so important to juice?

I told you that breakfast was the most important meal of the day.  I never said it had to be the biggest!  Though this way, you get a large dose of nutrients,vitamins and powerful antioxidants in one shot.  And you can mix it up; one day, I might use 2 carrots, three garlic pieces,an apple, a Clementine, a tomato, a third of a cucumber,a slice of ginger and a handful of spinach.  Or just carrots, ginger, peppers, mushrooms, and apple…

Now the bag at the back (a common, plastic grocery bag will do), holds all the fibre.  Do not discard that!  It goes great in soups!  I make a soup out of different kinds of beans and peas; although it tells you on the package to soak the beans over night in water, I just simmer them all day on the stove.  Different method, same result.  Now you grab a handful of vegetable fibre from the bag you made in the morning, and throw it in your soup for supper!

After being super charged for breakfast, you can actually actually get by for lunch with an orange and a handful of nuts.  Then on weekends, eat however you like without getting over stuffed of corpse!  It’s also important you regulate your portions so that you eat until just satisfied, not stuffed!  Eat like this, and follow the other steps in this program, and you will be lean and green!  LOL!  You will certainly pass your 150th. birthday feeling as bright and chipper as 30 year old.  There’s no reason you can’t make that possible!

What not to ingest:

  • Don’t drink too much tea or coffee!  I drank nothing but tea, tea, tea all day…  That means I was drinking far too little water, and made my system too acidic!  All that ever brought me, was kidney stones, and they hurt worse than Hell!  Now, I might have one cup of green tea a day…
  • Smoking, it is proven, to  greatly accelerate aging!  It does more to non-smokers because they get the pure stuff off the end of your cigarette, where-as the smoker is sucking through a filter, as a rule…
  • Smoking pot is a no no because just 2 joints contains about the same amount of carcinogens as a pack of cigarettes!  You can use a vaporizer now, which costs about $200, but it’s worth it!  It only releases the THC from the pot and none of the harmful carcinogens.  
  • Pills are also degenerative to the body because they change us chemically too!  I know you may take depression pills, pills, for pain, pills for various ailments you already have.  People have a tendency to overdose on pain pills especially; not a wise decision…
  • Alcohol is hard on the brain, heart, liver and kidneys; it kills brain cells, can give you a heart attack, or cirrhosis of the liver, and you pee all day!


They’re calling it: ’blue gold’ now!  Without it, you would die in less than 3 days!  You should be drinking the stuff all day with ice, to keep burning calories, to clean out waste and toxins, and to help heal the body.  Oh yes!  Water has healing properties!  You’d be surprised what water can do for you!   It immediately oxygenates your brain for one thing.  It keeps your kidneys and liver clean and functioning normally.  The medicine to prevent the formation of kidney stones is: water!  It is better for your skin as a moisturizer, than the most expensive stuff they’ve got out on the market!  Water revitalizes every cell in your body, including skin cells; the largest organ you have is your skin…  Feel better, look better, be better!


Rant #162


I know what you’re thinking right off the bat: ‘Why pick on the little guy?’  Well what about us big guys?  If furniture looks big to Midgets, it looks dinky to big people!  Well isn’t that just the same thing in reverse?  But no!  They get all the glory, and we get called: big, clumsy, awkward, dumb clucks!  I am not a cluck!  OK?  LOL!

You know?  I can’t even say: ‘I wouldn’t trust that guy as far as I could throw him!’, cuz you could probably throw a Midget 50 ft., if you had a mind to!  That’s far!  Well you know what that means don’t you?  I have to trust them!  Look at this Pelvis Presley cheap imitation!  It’s disgusting!


I’m Fine…

When someone asks you how you are, what’s with the: ‘I’m fine!’ response?  I feel like answering: ‘Well I’m Curly, and this is my friend Moe here.  What-a-ya mean you’re fine?  Stress invades everyone, disease is rampant and the air is full of it!  The world is dying, but you’re fine eh?  Even if you looked liked this, I’ll bet The Brooklyn Bridge, you’d still say: ‘I’m fine!’


Airtight Seals!

You know the ones I mean; where you stand there all day, looking like a first-class idiot trying to fiddle and fumble with things encased in plastic, or have those invisible separation seals that well, frankly, a man with my humungous fingers can’t possibly open!  Like battery packing and such, it’s just so frustrating to get in!  As the image below demonstrates, you’d need a Locksmith to get into these!  You wind up beating the pulp out of them instead:


Bread with a Rip in the Bag!

You must’ve done this before.  You go shopping, get all the way home, and find your bread has a rip in the bag, and half of your bread is actually stale!  You’re not going to go back for a loaf of bread, and I think they know that!   So they win!  They sold you garbage!  No wait, maybe you can feed the pigeons or make dressing, since you’ve been taken for a Turkey anyhow…


Confusing Road Signs!

By the time you figure this thing out, you may already have whip-lash!  And some of these things are on turn-pikes, and entrances to highway and such!  You can get killed just making a decision with the likes of some of them!  I found this one, particularly annoying:

confusing_signs1 (1)

My Big Fat Moment of Truth

Just add oxygen and stir…

    Continuing with my quest to become happy and healthy, I knew I would inevitably hit this fork in the road!  See, as you change your lifestyle, you’ve got to make some very tough decisions!  Out with the old and in with the new; it’s hard to adjust to giving up smoking, and I found it even harder to give up drinking, because I had to give up a couple of drinking buddies, and The Band!  I couldn’t be around drinking and win that battle, so I had to make some ultimately, emotional, yet necessary sacrifices!  That was very, very hard for me to do to them!

Finally, with just one true friend behind me, (because Leslie is not!  She’s never behind anything I do!  All she’ll worry about is her losses in monetary value…) I have to start psyching myself up to quit smoking pot :O(  Then I’ll be a complete goody two shoes, and nobody will love me, because they’re all evil Imps from Heck!

Sure that’s part of it, yet the biggest hurdle for me is my psychological addiction to the drug.  So because that’s more mental distress than physical recovery, and I’m Bi-Polar, theirs going to be a great loss of giggles I fear!  I’m afraid that because it makes me happy, without it, I may fall far deeper into my depression instead; because of the mental anguish of loosing my sense of humour :O(

Then there’s you to deal with!

I see the stats, that you read my stuff but you seldom comment and your like finger is stuck, and I just wonder if you aren’t trying to tell me that you don’t need what I have to offer.  I’ve seen other Depressoids vanish from here as well?  Where’s my sweet, Asian, Illustrator girl?  She’s not showing up on the  Reader anymore, and her dry sense of humour was helping me keep myself together! 

Depressoids really suck at making decisions!

I’m troubled today, but am afraid you won’t like me if I serve up whine with my cheese…  And I’m afraid that it must be me just putting up uninteresting topics…  It’s my way to try and give people what I think they need; We live in what is quickly becoming a Hedonistic society, intent on what it wants rather than paying attention to what you need. 

Perhaps the truth just hurts too much for you.  Perhaps it’s hurting me too cuz you just figure you’ve got everything all figured out for yourself anyway, and don’t need me telling you what to do!  Maybe I’m just obsolete.  I dunno!  I never hear from you one way or the other anyway.  I can see now why it’s not good for Depressoids to compete with millions of people!  Maybe I should just come back in few months when I feel better.  With supposedly, 186 followers, this is embarrassing, humiliating and is beginning to look like a big, fat waste of time for me…  Sorry I feel this way.  See you in another life …


How to Defeat Depression!

Don’t Take Life So Seriously.  Here’s a site that explains just how ‘out of proportion’ a depressed person can make of the world around him/her!  Briefly, it’s about how our pain may be disproportionate to the amount of pain actually present!   Being a Bi-Polar Depressoid myself, I can vouch that we blow all kinds of things out of proportion!  Our fear of the unknown, our own incompetence in our ability to function as others do, or that someone might find out our helplessness in decision making.  Someone could detect nervousness, sadness, and a myriad of ‘what if’s’ that stop us from acting upon motivation, and paralyze us, which no doubt is a lack of confidence triggered by a disproportionate scene of fear.  That in turn, causes us to imagine unrealistically, all kinds of negative scenarios, which you yourself, are so certain are going to happen!  Needless to say, the opposite could also be true!  We don’t know the future.; We just expect things to go wrong, and so they do…

Why Am I Depressed?

Why-Am-I-Depressed  This site is called:  ‘Holistic Health Practitioner’.  Does it not make perfect sense to you, that if you do all the things necessary to make make a concerted effort to stop thinking of everything in terms of black and white, color might catch on; the world outside of you is in at least 56 million colors that I know of!  Venture into this world,  and explore it on your own terms!  You will find many things to do of interest by sitting down and truly defining all of your interests,  and start pursuing them! 

Maybe the TV is getting you down.  Perhaps its the crushing impact of a heartless, headless world full of misery, pollution and corruption?  Whatever it is,  the key to changing your mood is to get busy getting outside,  with places to go ,and things to do!  Failure is possible for anyone of us on any given day!   It’s how we handle that ourselves that truly determines our next step!  It is possible for you to persuade yourself, to simply move on to better things, and not dwell on failures, but seek, and expect success instead!    Maybe not today or tomorrow, but  success will find you!  That is, happiness, joy, continued good feelings…  This in itself, is true success by far!


To Fail or to Succeed?

The choice has always been yours!

What you imagine, is exactly what you will cause to happen!  If you show that you are always negative, always doubtful, always looking toward the bad side of things, then you will truly attract those kinds of things and people!  ‘Birds of a feather!’  It’s true…  If on the other hand, you begin to believe in yourself, this will also be apparent to others, and attract more positive people and things.  Simple?  Practice it night and day!  Always look for the good around you.

Practice thinking about how you can help others to achieve they’re goals, and you will not only learn how to come up with your own ideas and achieve them you will be of much greater inspiration to others!  Set yourself to task, mindful always of correcting your way of thinking toward a cheer filled and constructive life!  You may even learn to laugh at yourself, so no one else will take your failures so seriously either!  Everybody fails…  That’s how we all learn…  If you truly want to be happy, think positively, surround yourself with positive people, learn to laugh at your own mistakes and you can not help but live a happy and successful life.  Remember!  Attitude is everything!  Start out with a bad attitude, you may as well go back to bed! 

Question Period:

Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself?

A:  By attempting to develop new skills and improving upon old ones…

Q: What do I do, if I start to feel paranoid in public?

A:  Ask yourself if it is real, or imagined.  Ask yourself if your mood may have triggered it?

Q What do I do when I feel like I can’t breathe?

A: Put your head between your legs and take deep breaths…  Don’t fart!

Q:  How can I stop my heart from beating so fast?

A:  Place both your wrists under cold water for 3 minutes…  This will slow your heart rate back down to normal by cooling and there-by slowing the blood flow to and from the heart.

Q:Will I ever get well?  That definitely depends upon how diligent you’re willing to become toward improving your physical health, mental attitude (the way you view yourself and how you fit in the world around you.  If you just want to stay hidden in a corner brooding, you will only get more depressed.

Q:  Will people think my condition is my fault?

A:  If you keep using your depression as an excuse for everything that goes wrong for you?  Yes!

Q:  If I were to stop smoking cigarettes, and stopped drinking, stopped whining why things can’t always be perfect, start taking better care of my body, moods, and constantly make a conscious effort to replace bad thoughts with good ones, happy ones, will I improve?  Yes!  Immensely!

Q: Do other people see me the same way I see myself?

A:  Nope!  You’re a real screw-ball!  Look at them?  Do you see them as they really are?  Society dictates they only reveal their good side, and in this way, wear masks that too often confuse us about others real motives!  Try calling one a phony bologna, and watch how quickly they change!

Q:  Why are things always so unexpected to me?

A:  Because you’re not expecting them; you’re not anticipating what may be waiting for you before you get them.  Remember when you used to run different scenarios through your mind and would try to think of a solution for each viable problem that may arise?  Yes, well it’s called ‘thinking’, and I’d like you to start practice doing that again.  Then when you arrive to where you’re going, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident to face any situation that may befall you; in this way, you free yourself up to now concentrate on why you went there in the first place, without a case of nerves, or, in the worst case scenario, complete, and total paralysis…   Better you should be you…


So how is it you prefer to see yourself really?

As the sad young woman above, which pushes people from her?


Or as this attractive young lady, with the infectious laugh, who draws people toward her?  The road to death?  Or the road to life?  Choose…  And this time?  Please choose wisely!    ‘Help yourself to a little bit of what is all around you!  Silly Girl! ‘  ( Martha- The Beatles.  Curiously enough, this was a song Paul  wrote about his dog.

Changing: The Geometry of A Dartboard…


Most Dartboards are pretty much the same…


    Most certainly there has been some variance of the number sequence, number of numbers and so on…  Yet, it has come to my attention that dart boards have remained relatively flat throughout the ages…  Below, is an example of one way we’ve changed the Dartboard:


This is called a ‘Fives’ Dartboard for obvious reasons.  Notice as well, the much more forgiving breathing-space to hit doubles and triples.  And notice, if you will, that it too is flat…  Here’s an idea…

What if it were not flat at all?

What if they came out from the wall in the shape of a half a sphere?  The numbers near the outside of the sphere, would be harder to hit, so we could give a generous spacing for doubles and triples, and less numbers; much like on the ‘fives’ board you see above.  The center portion would be more like a smaller conventional board, with even smaller spaced doubles and triples as on a conventional board…

Let’s spruce it up even more!

Tallying up your score can take valuable time away from the game ,and make it seam more like a math quiz, for those not so sharp witted in this field of endeavour!  I enjoy rounding numbers and adding the remainders at the end, so I don’t have that problem.  However, I have seen people struggle through it.

What if we could add sensors underneath our new spherical dartboard, so that as each dart hits, it tallies up the score for you on an LED screen that can be changed to except in sequence, up to six players?   This would certainly change the entire dynamics of the sport!   Huh?  Eh?  Huh? Eh?