Understanding Understanding…

Even I don’t Understand Me!

Recently, I read something that goes kind of like this (That means it’s probably a misquote) : ‘Those who love you bring happiness.  Those who are your friends install dignity.  Bad people give you experience,  The worst people teach you lessons.  Here’s my take on it:  ‘Those who love you kill you.  Those who are your friends suck you dry.  Bad people discredit you.  The worst people knock your teeth out.  Most people can’t handle the truth.  Especially me!  Yet some recent events have opened my eyes to some of my problems (via the truth), which I have now taken on.

I’ve been in a deep seated rage for a long time now, trying to adjust to a way of life I totally disapprove of now, and because of my fastidious approach to everything, I believed people and yes, inanimate objects, were contributing to and conspiring to execute my downfall!  Even little things like tripping over the cat, would send me through the roof!  Thanks to all the methods I’ve employed to improve my physical health, all the other aspects of me, emotional, cognitive and spiritual side, have fallen back in line.  I’m sure some…  OK, most of you were aware of that!  Since, I’ve asked Oden to send the wind to turn the tide, and I guess through a keener view point, I’ve seen through my cloud, and exercised the necessary discipline to dissipate it!

As we all know from cold, hard experience, anger begets anger.  In other words, the more you allow yourself to get angry, the easier it will be to trigger it in you.  As you further know, this torturous and ugly beast within us all, must be put back into his cage, and the key thrown away.  But how?  An astronomical amount of people, totally convinced that they are right, and the other 8 billion people on this rock are wrong, like to revel in this assessment for sometimes they’re entire greatly shortened lives!  This is a travesty of justice that must be quelled at the source!

Not only must you talk to yourself on a constant basis whenever you feel about to erupt, you have to be convincing enough that this is indeed your problem, and carry the faith needed to make this go away!  You’re going to have to look at it all in concern for the bigger picture rather than the narrow surface annoyance you ‘think’ you see!  You have to be persuasive that the little things are just that, and that the bigger things are far more complex than they appear on the surface.  Once you bring yourself to this understanding, the door will open back up, and the sunshine will shine through for you again.  I even found out, some irritating objects are movable…  Dah!  And no more irritations open many doors for you!

What Self Discovery Can Do…

It was very irritating to me that as soon as I’d do something, I’d immediately forget what it was.  With new eyes to see, I knew that since I had long stopped doing all the harmful things to myself and for the first time in my life considered my own well being, I got a flash that what I was really experiencing was selective memory loss.  I was really just doing this to myself!  My enormously inflated monster ego was telling me to ignore signs of my weaknesses; like where I put my glasses.  Did I take my depression pill?  Why can’t I hear the cat meowing to get in?  It was because I had the TV turned up, to block out everything else, which in turn was making my anxious!  Why was I forgetting Leslie’s coffee I just made in the microwave, or even to make her supper, which I said I would?

In Leslie’s case, the very first day after I thought I had defeated all this hatred toward everything and everybody, she did one tiny thing that ripped it all down in one fell swoop!  She made me fiddle with something that was completely unrepairable, and I just lost it!  I went crazy again, and all the happiness and relief drained out of me in mere seconds!  I felt devastated and hopeless to fight it once more!  I had that dream then that night I told you about, still having fumes exude from the top of my head for the entire day, I woke up the next day feeling fine surprisingly!  So for the first time in a few eons, I just fell in her arms and cried it all out of me!  I thought: [I should do this more often!]

Then it suddenly dawned on me, that where before I had seen Leslie as a tiny, little, squeamish suckle baby, and weakling of a woman, I finally came to the understanding that this was her outlet for relieving stress so that she doesn’t turn into the Monster that I was to her!  And guess what?  Understanding was the cure for me!  No longer did I resent it when she cried… about ever 15 minutes…  LOL!  A huge annoyance to me had dissipated into thin air, just like that!  Feather more, I realized that smoking pot was clouding my view of reality, and drinking was fueling my rage!

Leslie and I are getting along famously now!  In spite of my pleadings against all the bad things that affect her over-all well-being, she stubbornly persists in pursuing her demise.  However, realizing there was a lot of BIG things I needed to correct in myself, I could no longer condemn her for being the way she is.  For now at least, that’s her choice!  And you can’t change the stripes on a tiger.  Go ahead and try!  Cut off all their fur, and the stripes will still be there…  So, in just a few short weeks of talking to myself, everything that comprises me, has improved 100 fold!  At last I can think again!  And I can feel!  ‘I think!  Therefore I’m right!’  Not quite:  ‘I feel!  Therefore I am!’  I am sent me!  Learn to forgive, and you will be set free!  And remember: ‘Only YOU can prevent forest fires’!  I may still not be the smartest Joker in the deck, but I am all the more determined, to become a better Blogger.  I can now unleash my potential  :O)



Comments on Commenting #2

Expanding Our Horizons

Please to allow me to remind you that comments supply an abundance of extra useful information to the writer that can improve their outlook, expand their communication skills, provide new friends, exchange ideas, and ultimately helps to improve the quality as well as the quantity that Bloggers can come to enjoy.  And that improves the content that you read!  Too many times I have seen blogs, good ones, fall by the wayside because none of their efforts are appreciated or even acknowledged.  I’m going to show you examples today, of how light can be brought into dark lives this way!

Many of us are left poor, with very few alternatives but to sit around all day watching commercials on TV all day about people going on cruise trips, buying expensive cars and a very many luxury items, like simple skin care products that those without means simply cannot afford!  It is rubbed into our faces on a daily bases.  So if you believe being poor in a rich country is a walk in the park, sometimes we actually have to live and sleep there!  Being poor in a rich country is one of the worst kinds of poor you can encounter, because you stick out like a soar thumb!  Others think of you as uneducated, greasy, germ carrying, criminal ingrates, to be avoided and ignored at all costs!  You are quite literally shunned from the rest of society!  You are stripped of all dignity and self esteem.  And forget about a career because you simply can’t afford one.  Even a simple Photography course costs $8,000!  Where am I gonna get $8,000?   They’re not gonna let you in because you say you like Photography and read books ya know.  You have to earn it!

Instead of brick walls, we can set up plans in which the doors can be opened to all those willing to succeed at what they love to do, just like everybody else with the finance to do it!  This example can be viewed world wide making the eradication of poverty a very real possibility!  Hey!  You’re the ones who don’t want the low I.Q.’s, disease and serial killings, suicide, prostitution, drug and alcohol abuse, pacts with the Devil etc…  This last paragraph comes from a comment I made BTW!  Armed with a larger, better workforce that actually collaborates with one another, we could actually go on to solve all the worlds problems, which crooked politicians have no intention of ever doing!  Once more we could take pride in our work instead of just filling in time to get a pay cheque…  Below is a comment from a single mother struggling to survive.  From her words, you will find that deep down, she’s very much like you:

I give you Mingtea

‘God has done wondrous things in my life and for those around me whom i love too. All things are through him only and without him there is nothing. I admire you Darrell for your mercy and forgiveness, you never torment or intimidate anyone and your always welcoming to a friend weather they feel happy or feel down, even when you may not feel well yourself. I see that shining through you a lot. you are a blessing to my life and to those who know you. i pray for you and about you in every pray i say. may Gods blessings shine down upon you and touch your life in a wonderful and deserving way.’

Notice how she speaks of God given qualities because God is the refuge for the poor, and His promise to us, our only hope!  She may speak very well of me, is kind and loving, yes.  Yet there are days when she is so down and distressed, and there are lots of them, most especially around the second half of the month when funds have run out!  I have cried out to God and prayed for her many times, that God will hear my prayers and remove her constant suffering and bring some ray of light into her life; something with deep meaning and constancy!  Something that would open up some kind of financial security for her, that she may be needed and have some kind of purpose in life!  And here is a post from Mingtea when she feels down:

‘my life is over now as far as men are concerned im old poor disabled nobdy will ever want to be with me now. i am no longer pretty im just a worn out wash rag and am treated as such. theres no man for me ever again in my future there just isnt a good man left certainly not in this shithole town. most men here lost their license dont work are alcoholics or drug abusers or they cling to their mamma like a week old baby . makes me sick i was married 3 times and still had to do all the money earning doctors appointment s laundry cooking school visits clean th e house pay the bills put the garbage out shovell the snow mow the lawn. one of these assholes even still complains that he had to pay support even tho his kids are 25 and 27 and he hasnt helped them get a license and hasnt givien them 5 cents to help them out when they are broke they come to mamma. one way its good that no man on earth will ever be with me i dont havae to shave my legs or arms pits. dam i dont even have to take a shower whats the point i only have dirty laundry anyway no money for weeks now for the laundrymat. theres no hope left for me im no longer pretty and no longer work. im done like melted icecream stuck to the bowl after thanksgiving dinner. im equal to the shit left in the sink of dirty dishes. even my kids treat me like shit since i dont work and give them stuff anymore. i was a good person and great mom my whole life for nothing.they only care about right now and give me no credit for my years of sacrifice anda labor i did for them. if they have nothing today they blame me. there is no such thing as free will . God doesnt exist its all a bullshit story like santa clause. i was a loyal wife and devoted mother for nothing. nobody cares about my happiness but plenty of ppl enjoy making me suffer especially your old buddy the madman. hes a women abuser and picks on the weak and defencesless. i dont want to be around you becuase you always say your done with him then your old lady lets him in anyway for whats in his pockets and YOU prolly make him coffee. thats called 2 faced. if he shows his ugly face at my door im slamming it on him no matter what is in his pockets.he cant buy my kidness now hes done too much damage to my family and continues to. i hope he moves away and takes your old lady with him. sorry if that sounds harsh its just reality she will let the devil in if he gives her something, no matter what you say.’

A lot of this is pent up anger and disrepair; nobody to comfort her, nowhere to go, and nothing to look at but four walls!  BTW, true to my word, I gave The Madman no coffee, and told him to get out and not come back!  He doesn’t even care or know what he’s done to her or his one time friends!  How would you like to be living like this?  Is this what fair play boils down to?  What kind of answer has ever been given to any of us, except for you to turn your backs and pretend we don’t exist?  And the way things are going, you may just get your wish!  I’d like to believe someone out there truly cares and isn’t just putting on their little act to satisfy their conscience.  Would you ask a drowning seal to smile for a picture? One thing I do know.  You treat them better than us!  Hear’s another cheer filled comment from her on your behalf.  Why so?  Because this is how you make us feel when you don’t comment!  And ya know what else?  Just keep going the way you have been (you silent majority you!), and there won’t be any blog for you to post on at all…  Have yourselves another wonderful day in paradise…  Are you trying to covey the impression we’re all brothers and sisters?  any more BS you have for me?  Read, and learn what it is to be human!  You see?  Without comments, you’re just a bag of dust…

‘i was having an horrific menopausal meltdown today. it is so frustrating to to be disabled at times i loose all faith and hope i become so overwhelmed with sadness and defeat that i feel heavy from it weighing on me. i wish there was some comfort encouragement or consoling so i could feel better. menopause and chronic illness aren’t for me i need restored hope. i am defeated’






Keli Tarp, NOAA

Stupid Idiots!

No Offense to all you Smart Idiots…

I know you’re just trying to be smart…  What is a smart idiot, but someone who’s learned how to fool a stupid idiot like me! Why do they call it Thanksgiving for anyway?  What do I have to be thankful for?  Poverty?  I had to settle for pigeon… It’s all I could afford!  And now I know why they call it stuffing.  It bummed me up for a week!  But no!  Smart Idiots fool all trusting saps like me by saying: ‘It’s got sage it it, so it’s good for your digestion!’  Cement has water in it, so I may as well have ate that too, cuz it’s good for keeping it soft…

What they don’t tell you is that you have to start out with a turkey, that’s heavier than your oven, and stuff it’s Grand Canyon with a stale French stick, to keep it crispy, then loosing your brains, you soak this concrete, called bread, in butter fat which softens your Butterball bread up again, and adheres it together like crazy glue, ensuring high cholesterol, and adding four further bum you up eggs, and by the time you finish up this, in my case, a gigantic pigeon, that’s what you end up looking like!  Great!  A Holiday for Gluttons!  Isn’t that a novel idea!


Only kind of Idiot wants to find a Tornado?

Once they do, providence ensures it’s always an F5!  Now seeing this enormous  600 mile an hour , swirling, huge mass of dust, debris, and and transport truck hurdling toward him out-standing in his field watching this freak of nature plowing toward him at break-neck speed!

So what’s his first thought?  [If I run sideways to it, maybe I can out run it!  Mean-while, the guy in the transport truck is honking his horn at the guy running across the field, like he thinks our idiot can really get out of the way!  So the idiot grabs onto the first thing she can find…  I rickety,old, barbed wire fence post!  You can see where this is going, can’t you!

Keli Tarp, NOAA

So our Idiot here gets wrapped up in a barbed wire fence and gets deposited beside a cigar store Indian!  So then a Detective comes along, thinks it’s a serial killing, and starts checking out all cigar stores looking for people wrapped in barbed wire…  Then after assessing all your piles of tooth picks, you all decide, lets buy a Trailer Park!

And what do We do with our collective Intelligences?

Like the second of the three, little pigs (pigs?  Little?), we build our houses out of tooth picks in Tornado Alley!  Then when run right out in the open to catch bacon sandwiches dropping from the sky!  Look!  If a tornado can exchange furniture between houses, causing people to settle for cheap sofas, it can certainly make bacon sandwiches from three, fat, little pigs!  It’s not my business, but why not just move into the storm itself and be done with it?

What’s the Porpoise to Build a City beside an Ocean?


What we really have here, is an entire city full of big, Dummies, hanging around, waiting for a Tsunami to hit!  Now I ask you…  How many low I.Q.’s can you cram into one spot?  The ocean burps, you’re on the beach, and see a 300 foot wave coming in.  So you say to yourself: [I know!  I'll go hide in my apartment!]  What can you be thinking?  First off, you’re going to out run this wave through sand?  And secondly, I hope your apartment’s downtown cuz that’s where the wave will take you…  Put on your inflated,rubber ducks, cuz here it comes!

Let’s Live beside a Volcano…

Why don’t you just decide to die in a freak mud slide instead?  I know!  See that smoking mountain over there?  That looks like the perfect place to build our combustible shack!  ‘Now children!  I told you before…  Put that lava rock down, they can still be hot!’  You’re going to end up looking like my Thanksgiving Pigeon!  Welcome to Japan: ‘AWE! THE MONSTER!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!’


A World that gives You the Shakes!

How does it feel living in a world where obvious stupidity is the order of the day?  I know!  We could always search the world wide for a volcano inside an Earthquake zone, so your waitress can ask you: ‘Would you like fries with your shake?’  

Here’s a great idea!  Let’s build a bustling metropolis on something Spanish, like The San Adrea’s Fault line, pray to The Virgin Mary for forgiveness and try to creep away, carrying your favorite bowling ball, just before you fall through a mile deep fisher, trying to read a fast approaching license plate, and hoping to God it’s your car!


This picture above, is the aftermath of the now famous 9.0 Earthquake and ensuing Tsunami that just recently hit Japan! So yes!  It is possible to be doubly stupid at the same time!

Here’s a Woppingly Good Idea!

Let’s all board an Airplane with a drunken pilot, an inexperienced Co-pilot, there to learn from the drunk, tinkered with, by a bunch of of half witted mechanics more interested in cutting corners, and extended combination marijuana cabbage roll coffee breaks, while you find yourself reaching for the vomit bag, in a nose dive from 32,000 feet!  Afterwards, we can all look forward to a big group of sneaky Spaniards canoing over to loot our purses and wallets…  At least we can all be happy to just pollute the ocean instead of the atmosphere!  Oh yeah!  Us Idiots have genius floating out our ears!


10 Reasons to Loose Weight

  • Gain enough weight, gravity will take over, and moons will start to orbit you!
  • The Good-Year blimp lands beside you, and nobody can tell the difference…
  • There’s not enough wind for the sail on your boat, so someone suggests using your pants.
  • Pi r NOT squared…  Pi r round!
  • The moment you step out of your first floor apartment, it now becomes the second floor apartment!
  • Your garbage weighs more than you do!
  • You can run…  But only 5 feet…
  • You get on a jumbo jet, and the silly thing can’t get off the ground!
  • You get invited to a community dinner, and find out you’re on the menu!
  • Nobody knows exactly what you weigh, because weighing scales don’t go up that high.

The Mountain

Down from the river;

Comes up to the mountain!

His worship is countin’,

On all he has to say!

All that he can give her;

Pours out like a fountain!

He works on that mountain;

Until she fades away!

Where does she find the depth in me?

A pounding in my head!

If it weren’t for all of her telepathy;

This Mountain would be dead!